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Luke's, Thursday Afternoon

See, if Eliot had bothered to mention that his old-timey radio broadcasts were available as podcasts, Hardison would have started listening to them before he even came to this island. Coming into the diner, he nodded at the staff and started for the stairs before stopping up short. "Hey man," he said to the busboy, pulling one of the headphones out of his ear. "You okay? What happened to you?"

The busboy looked down at his shoes and muttered something, the bruise on his cheek still an ugly red.

"Tiny busboy say what?" Hardison asked, hoping he'd misheard the kid. No. Certain he'd misheard him. "Did you just say that Eliot gave that to you?"

The kid nodded and, after much coaxing, explained what happened, stressing that Eliot had been asleep and had just lashed out before he even knew what was going on.

Which, you know, would be comforting for anybody but Eliot. He didn't have accidents like that. His self-control was crucial. It's how he kept everyone safe.

"Put more ice on it," he instructed, unaware of how his voice had roughened. "And...stay away from Eliot for a bit, okay? Poke him with a stick or something if you need to."

Daily Specials
Vegetarian Stuffed Grape Leaves
Lemon Garlic Thin Steaks
Tamria (Caramelized Dates)

There went Hardison's good mood. Dammit, Eliot!

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Ignore the fulminating hacker.

Just don't expect him to cook you anything. But he'll take your order.

Parker had gotten some gear together and was now heading for the cliffs ~~having recently been reminded that she was gonna do that.~~ She paused to lean against Hardison, like a hug, if your hands aren't full.

"Do you want to go with me while I do this? Or are you in boss-mode?"

Edited 2015-03-12 20:57 (UTC)

"Definitely in boss-mode," Hardison said quickly, ignoring the fact that he didn't even properly work in the diner. He just kind of...kinda hung out there sometimes. And ordered people around.

Details.

But if Parker was carrying her harness and leaving the house, then, nope. Hardison was busy. Doing something super-important.

That wasn't gonna stop him from pulling him into a deep hug, though. "Hey girl. How you doin?"

"Good." That wasn't a lie, but... "Mostly." She leaned into the hug and muttered, quiet enough for no one to overhear, "We were going to start Plan E by now. But I'm mad at him."

She'd forgiven him, but she was still mad. Which covered up the worry that she didn't know how to process.

"Cause of that stunt he pulled last week?" Hardison asked, nuzzling her hair a bit for comfort. "Or..." He remembered something from yesterday's podcast had mentioned but he hadn't paid much attention to. But now, with that bruise... "What were you two talking about in class? The radio said about him being weird?"

"Yes!" Parker leaned back a little, glad again that Hardison was so smart. "He was overreacting to stuff! And he grabbed my wrist, hard. And he didn't get why I was mad we had to hear about what he did from Nate."

Honestly, she was more mad about that than the grabbing.

As opposed to say what Hardison was focusing on, yes.

"He what?" he yelped. "Yo hold up. What did you just say?"

"He was being too mellow." Parker was laying this out step-by-step, because she could never be sure what other people thought was important, as opposed to what she thought the point was. "So I was poking him. Like I do. Not hard! I didn't hurt him." A pause, for Hardison to catch up. "And he grabbed my wrist to make me stop, which he barely ever does, and it hurt, which he's never done. And when I said that after, he said he was sorry and he gave me a cookie." She paused. "The end." Then she returned to her topic. "But he didn't say he was sorry about lying about Sterling, just said that next time I'd get to kick him too."

Hardison reached for Parker's wrist, looking for a bruise or redness like on the busboy.

"Did he intend to hurt you?" he asked, trying to keep his voice level. "Or was it an accident?"

Either was problematic in its own, special, horrible way.

"Accident." The redness was there, and there was only a suggestion of a bruise on her wrist-bone; really he hadn't done any damage. Just surprised her, and made her mad. "He wasn't careful." Okay, see, now that she'd said this to Hardison, that uncharacteristic part of it had her worried-scared-shading-to-mad again. "I don't get what's going on with him. He's not paying attention!"

See, and that was what had been bugging her about the mellow. Usually Eliot was all grumpy and focused, and when he was unfocused, what was that?

Parker leaned back into Hardison, grumbling. "Do you get it?"

"I get it, babe," he said, holding Parker close. "He's not supposed to not pay attention."

He gestured to the busboy with his chin. "You see the bruise on that kid there? Eliot did that, too. Kid woke him up and he lashed out before he knew what was going on."

Which, for anyone else, would be fine. But this wasn't anyone else. This was Eliot.

"What? Seriously?" If Hardison had told her that Eliot had tased the kid, she would have assumed he had a good reason. But just doing it by accident was... was not Eliot. "This is all wrong." Parker buried her face in his shoulder for a minute, because she didn't know what to do about this. "Need more info," she said, her voice muffled.

"I should talk to him," Hardison said firmly. "He needs to know that he can't just put his hands on people--"

Which was hilarious because that's what Eliot did. But if he was unintentionally hurting people--if he was unintentionally hurting Parker--well, then they were gonna have words. Possibly fightin words.

And then Hardison would pick his ass back up off the ground where Eliot had beaten him into it and slink off to lick his wounds and hope that his words stuck.

"What are you going to say?" Parker asked, curious. "He did already apologize. And you can't just tell people to stop being weird."

This she knew from her own experience; she'd never stopped being weird when people told her to.

"I dunno yet, babe," Hardison said. "I...I kinda wanna pop him one." He was reluctant to admit it, but there it was. "Not that I don't think you're fully capable of taking care of yourself or defending your own honor or whatever, but..." He shrugged. Hearing that Eliot had carelessly hurt her made his fists clench. "Maybe remind him that he needs to be more careful? Point out that he's hurting people unknowingly?"

That got him a hug, and a kiss on his jaw. "Yeah, I took care of it." But it was okay for Hardison to be mad too. Maybe that would get through to Eliot. Except.... "You aren't really going to punch him, right?"

"I'm tempted to," Hardison said, kissing her back. "Even though I know it's a really, really stupid idea."

"It really is, you're way smarter than that." Parker sighed. "If Eliot's going to be not-him, I need you to be you even more. And also, not unconscious when he hits you back."

"I could get lucky," he mumbled, not actually believing that for a second. "Babe, feel my arms. Look at these guns. They mean business--you know, like real business. I could--I could get a lucky shot in?"

No, never.

"If I hit him with a frying pan first and he was passing out. Sure." Honesty was important with your people, right? Parker nodded, then grinned and felt his arms. "They are really great arms. 44 Magnums!" To one of the nearby staff, she said, "See, that's a pun."

And rather than getting tased, the staffer just nodded and mumbled a quick agreement before running into the kitchen because 'somebody just called.'

"I was thinkin' of borrowin' your taser first," Hardison admitted. "Fighting the injured is my niche, remember? Not fighting the disgustingly hale and hearty who could turn me into a tiny pancake with their pinky toes."

Hardison knew his strengths. Fisticuffs were not one of them.

"If you really want to, you can borrow it. I don't want you to be a pancake. And Eliot always gets back up again."

Hey, that's what they had Eliot for. And Parker's craziness and really strong fingers. Hardison's niche was completely valid.

"I mean, if he'd hurt you, I'd tase him."

Hardison allowed himself one long, loving fantasy of tasing Eliot for hurting Parker and then reluctantly sighed and shook his head. "It's all right, mama. I'm not gonna tase Eliot, or punch him, or anything like that. I'mma probably go and talk to him about this, but...he's ours. We should really keep the injuring to a minimum. Besides, I'd be some kind of hypocrite if I tried to hurt him for accidentally hurting you."

It was tough being the mature, responsible one sometimes.

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that." All the things she could think of when planning a con kind of went out the window when it came to relationship stuff. It was hard.

Which made sense, because if it wasn't, Nate and Sophie would've gotten their crap together years earlier than they did.

"And he is ours. I just-- I want to know why he'd different, lately."

"Me too, babe, me too. So, I'll go talk to him, maybe tomorrow or the next day or something. See if I can't figure out what's going on with him and put a stop to it." Hardison nuzzled her hair again, this time for his own comfort. "For the record, a smack to the back of the head doesn't count as hitting. My Nana calls that cranial maintenance and says every guy needs it from time to time."

"Hmmmm." Parker considered. "I think she got your settings right. But as soon as you figure out Eliot's thing, tell me if I can do that, because I want to help." She smiled at him, and leaned in for a kiss. "Are you sure you don't want to go cliff-climbing with me?"

Dammit, Parker! She knew pretty much exactly how to weasel him into doing the stupidest...

"Awww hell," he muttered. "A'ight. Let me go upstairs and get my rig." He was so put out right now, dammit. But not too terribly, because kisses. "I've got a backup to run, too. Be back down in ten?"

Beat.

"Or you could come up and help me put the harness on." And they could be back down in...thirty? Forty-five?

"Safety first!" Parker chirped. "I think that's a very good plan. Helping. I"m good at that."

"Heeeeey," Hardison said, reaching for her hand and heading for the stairs up to their apartment.

The cliffs would still be there in an hour.

Oh BDE I heart you

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Luke's, Thursday Afternoon

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OOC