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Luke's, Tuesday Afternoon

At some point, the kitchen staff at Luke's had decided that a) Hardison worked there (he did not, he just owned the building and spent a lot of time in the diner because they fed him and didn't expect him to pay) and b) that he somehow understood how Eliot thought (he would have agreed with that if he'd been asked two weeks ago, now that belief was under serious question). Today, he wasn't sure which assumption was going to drive him crazier.

"He just stands there glaring,, but, like, it's a different glare--"

"What do you think we should have for specials? Is there a kind of cuisine you'd like today?"

"--like, some kind of dead-glare. Kinda like a fish maybe? A dead-eyed, fishy glare--"

"How about Thai? Do you think Thai would be okay? Do you think the manager would be mad if we made Thai?"

"--the kind of glare that says that he knows thirteen different uses for a woodchipper and none of them--"

"Or would it be better if we went with something else?"

"-- involve wood. Does he have a woodchipper? If he has one, I think we--"

"Maybe not a theme at all, just food?"

"All right!" Hardison shouted, holding his hand up for quiet. "Yes, I know the glare you're talking about, no it ain't natural, but just keep your head down and it should be okay. Yeah, Thai is fine, don't even worry about it, just cook whatever. No, I don't think he has a woodchipper, but I don't suggest asking him what he can do with them, a'ight?"

Daily Specials
Fried Tofu with Peanut Dipping Sauce
Bitter Melon and Pickled Mustard Soup
Watermelon Rind Sour Curry with Sticky Jasmine Rice
Thai Iced Tea

Luke's was open and divided between worried and exasperated.

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Ignore how panicked the staff looks and focus on how good the food is!

While he tries to find any mention of his stolen hard drive on the net.

Parker came in after her class, and aggressively leaned against Hardison, weight all floppy with discontent. "Everything sucks."

Hardison hated that he knew just what was causing this. "Class today, huh?" he asked, slinging an arm over her shoulders.

"He just keeps getting worse. Meaner. And he yelled at his favorite student today." Okay, so, the student accidentally kicked him in the face, but the point was he would've handled it a lot better before... whatever this was. "And then he just left."

"Left? Like, the classroom?" Or the island? "Did you follow him?"

"You okay, mama?"

"Out of the classroom. And no. Should I have? I kinda felt like I'd stab him if I stayed around him, and... I think he might be an alien."

She shook her head to his second question, and attempted to burrow into his shoulder.

"No, you did right. You need to say in the classroom with your students. And also not stab people, especially ones we love." He just hadn't been sure she knew that.

"I don't think he's an alien, babe," Hardison added, wrapping his arms around her. "I think it might be worse than that."

"A robot?" she whispered. "'Cause if he's a robot, his programming is going haywire, and you could fix him."

So, see. Not worse!

"I think..." and here, Hardison had to choose his words carefully, considering they were in the diner. "I think maybe Eliot's caught wind of Plan E. And this is his response."

It made a disturbing, if heart-wrenching amount of sense.

"What? No!" Because that, that was hurtful. And... Eliot had been really hurtful lately. Parker frowned. "No. He wouldn't have to be like this!" Right?

"Have to be? Nah, babe, of course not. But sometimes people don't understand. You know how confusing feelings can be. He might just be, I dunno. Lashing out. Cause he doesn't know how to respond."

"Why? Why would that make him hurt the busboy, or yell at Kathy?" Parker demanded, still confused and not liking this theory. "Okay, I get confused, I stab people, but I stab the people I'm confused about!"

In fairness, Hardison didn't like it, either. But it was the only thing he could come up with that seemed to make any sense at all.

He hadn't yet been on the island long enough to immediately leap to things that didn't make sense.

"Because sometimes when people are hurt, they lash out in general, not just at the people who've hurt them," he reminded. "I saw it in the system and so did you, I bet."

"But not Eliot," Parker said, her voice very small. "That isn't..." Not with more than words, anyway. Not meaning the words. "He doesn't want us?"

"Maybe--maybe he just doesn't want me, babe." It was cold comfort, but that was all Hardison had to offer. Besides, he'd seen the way Eliot looked at Parker sometimes. He was willing to bet that wanting her was not in doubt.

But wanting him...well, that very well could be.

"I mean, we've never seen Eliot flirting with guys or anything. Maybe it's--maybe it's just too much for him."

"He's not like that. And I'm the one whose wrist he squeezed. And who he walked away from teaching with today." Also, this was a moment to hug her boyfriend, right? Right. Hugs. "And how could he not want you? How could anybody? You're awesome. And genius."

"I give Eliot more space than you do, babe," Hardison pointed out. "And, believe me, he came really close to punching me when I talked to him at the park the other day." He sighed, for once wishing his orange soda was something a little stronger. "He's definitely acting out towards you, I ain't even tryin to say he's not. I'm just sayin' that I think Plan E got him spooked--but the reason he's spooked is not because of you. Sometimes there's more to attraction and wanting to be with someone than just being an awesome genius." He nudged her with an elbow, trying to make her smile. "How long did it take for you to realize you wanted pretzels, hmm?"

"Well, sure. But I'm me. Eliot's... he's been with a lot of women. And even had relationships and stuff with them."

Wait. She knew this one! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

"So maybe if he wants to be with you - us - he's... freaked out?"

"Yeah, sure, maybe it's that," Hardison said. "Maybe he's just doing the classic alpha male thing where he pushes us away until he has a chance to calm down or something."

Personally, he still thought it was more likely that Eliot was pushing them away because he wanted nothing to do with Plan E, but he wasn't going to completely burst Parker's bubble. Not if he didn't have to.

"So. We should leave him alone? For how long?" Parker frowned again. "And everything is back to sucking. Can't we just tell him to calm down?"

"Let's give it another day or so," Hardison suggested. "Then I'll try talking to him again. Maybe he has a chance to cool off or whatever, I'll be able to get at whatever's eating him."

No offense meant to Parker, but of the three of them, Hardison was the best one to deal with emotional things.

"If that don't work...I dunno, girl. Maybe call Sophie?"

"Maybe." Sophie was the master of emotional things, after all. Nate would probably just piss Eliot off, in his current mood. "Somehow I feel like we messed up, but I don't think it's fair, 'cause he won't say how we messed up. I'm right about that, aren't I?" Parker grimaced. "And maybe he's just extra-mad about the Black Book now. Which is still both our fault."

"That wasn't your fault, babe." Hardison was firm about that. "I left it out, knowing that we were leaving and I hadn't set up a decent security system. That ain't on you." He gave her a small smile. "You're only the boss on jobs."

His smile widened a little more. "A'ight. And in the bedroom, too."

Parker gave her happy evil dirty chuckle, and said, "We need to go campaigning again. Soon. With extra-special bonus points." She rubbed her nose against his. "Make us both feel like winners."

"Girl, did you just suggest a night in playing video games?" That was the first thing anyone had been able to say in days that had him actually cheering up. "Goddamn I love you."

Seriously. He was gonna steal a wedding for this girl one day.

"I know some folks in my guild are planning a raid soon. Want in, baby girl?"

"Stealing things is my happy place." Even if it wasn't real gold. And Hardison really needed the cheering up. "Me too."

You know. That thing. That she said sometimes. And meant.

'Me too' was plenty enough for Hardison. He knew what Parker meant, he didn't need the words.

"I made a new mod for you. It's called the Midas Effect. Everything you touch turns to gold."

Because, again, he loved her.

"Eeee." And that gets you kisses, Hardison.

Hardison wouldn't let LJ go down!

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Luke's, Tuesday Afternoon

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OOC