Devil's Nest, Monday, 05/04

[bitten_notshy]

Jack had final exams to study for, which meant he was letting Tiny handle the bar today. He still kept an eye on things from his booth in the lounge; he was always curious if any of the new students would be stupid enough to try to pass a fake ID here. (He didn't recommend it. Once Tiny had eaten one.)

He put his head down and tried to focus on the finer points of property law -- and to ignore the fact the DJ had decided today was Novelty Hits of the 90s Day. The first was proving easier than the second.

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena....

[OOC: Open post, no OCD!]

Comments

[texted3times]

"Should I eat him," Eric asked, making a face, "during or after his shift?"

And even if he did eat him, Eric was still going to have "Heeeey Macarena" in his head for a week. Ugh.

[bitten_notshy]

"If you eat him we have to hire a new one," Jack told him. "And the insurance payout would be ridiculous."

[texted3times]

Eric pointed to the DJ. "It's the Macarena. And I'm sure I could afford it."

Not helping, Eric.

[bitten_notshy]

"But God, the paperwork," Jack sighed. "And we'd have to bother the lawyers. You're eleven hundred years old. Have some self-control and just smash the stereo."

[texted3times]

"Fine," Eric grumbled, "but if he follows this up with 'Cotton-Eyed Joe,' I can't be held responsible for my actions."

[bitten_notshy]

Jack closed his eyes. "If he does that, I may eat him before you get to it."

Why did he know all these terrible songs? Why?

[texted3times]

"I'll give you a raise and provide an alibi," Eric said promptly.

Best boss ever?

[bitten_notshy]

Best boss ever!

Jack grinned at him. "You always have been good about recognizing when I go the extra mile."

[texted3times]

He examined his nails. "Wouldn't be the first time someone's been killed in my bar. Or the tenth..."

[bitten_notshy]

"First time here, though, isn't it?" Jack asked, as a point of trivia. "Not counting those amusing Fandom deaths where you wake up Monday good as new."

[texted3times]

"Oh, I always kill the bad DJs on the other side of the causeway," Eric said. "Much neater that way."

He was probably kidding? Maybe? He was definitely pitching his voice to carry to the current one.

[bitten_notshy]

"I appreciate it," Jack said, also pitching his voice just a bit louder. "The smell's so hard to get out of carpet otherwise."

Strangely enough, the DJ seemed overtaken by an urge to switch to the Verve.

it's a bittersweet symphony, this life...

Wise move, DJ.

[texted3times]

"They can be taught," Eric murmured, a quick smile quirking his lips up. "How have you been?"

[bitten_notshy]

"Amazing how well a few subtle threats work," Jack said, lowering his voice so only Eric would hear it. "I'll remember that."

Then, back at normal volume: "Not bad, actually. School's trying to kill me but the island's been taking it easy. You?"

[texted3times]

"Wasn't that subtle," Eric replied, eyes twinkling, and then spoke in a more normal tone. "I keep having to head back to Louisiana because Bill, it turns out, is a fucking moron. I'm shocked at that development."

Eric, by his tone, wasn't at all shocked.

[bitten_notshy]

"He's the one who was engaged to your Sookie for five minutes, isn't he?" Jack asked. (So maybe sometimes he eavesdropped.) "What's he being stupid about now?"

[texted3times]

"You want it alphabetical or chronological?" Eric said, pursing his lips. "I'm not sure I have the time on earth to list all of his idiocies and I live forever."

[bitten_notshy]

"Start with the most egregious," Jack suggested. "That'll probably be the most entertaining anyhow."

[texted3times]

"His pronunciation of Sookie's name is the most egregious," Eric said. "He's becoming a vampire religious fanatic and that can't be anything but a fucking terrible idea."

[bitten_notshy]

"Religious fanatics are terrible to start with," Jack said, looking thoroughly disgusted at the thought. (Sebastien had had many, many, many strong opinions on the Crusades.) "Make one immortal and it'd be even worse. Are people listening to him?"

[texted3times]

"Not yet, but the movement itself is gaining some momentum and that's bad," Eric said, "because anything that tangles up in religion always ends fucking badly."

Eric had been tied up with silver and left to meet the sun by religious fundamentalists. He had Opinions.

[bitten_notshy]

"You're right about that," Jack said easily. "How long do you think it's going to be before somebody gets the bright idea of rounding up his whole congregation and marching them into the sun?"

He didn't even know Eric's story. He just knew history.

[texted3times]

"Probably right after the Sanguinistas decide that synthetic blood is stupid and we should go back to drinking people directly, as Lilith would have wanted," Eric said, rolling his eyes.

[bitten_notshy]

"Lilith as in Adam's first wife?" Jack asked, confused. "I thought that was only a myth."

[texted3times]

Eric shook his head. "She was the first vampire."

Because that makes sense.