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Luke's, Tuesday

After Monday's nightmare, Hardison had been glad for a decent night's sleep last night. Usually when he went on a nightmare bender, they tended to last a few days, but that didn't seem to be the case here. Maybe it was because the triggering incident had happened to somebody else. Maybe they were just losing their hold on him--he hadn't found himself idly calculating how many cubic feet of air were in the room and how long that would last him if he got trapped.

Maybe having Eliot to talk him down while Parker held onto him had been exactly what he needed. Who knows?

Either way, he wasn't going to question the why's and how's too closely. Having only one night of nightmares was just something he was happy to accept on principle. Besides, he had a new side project to look into: making a video game. Apparently he (with some, you know, minor assistance from Eliot) had made a super-popular video game to improve health and nutrition. It had been enough to keep him in shape in this nebulous future which might also include a kidnapping calendar. So he was just going to order himself lunch off the Special's Board and start researching everything he could on how to make a triple-A quality game.

Today's Specials
Ema Datshi
Fish and Mandarin Orange Curry
Bhutanese Red Rice

Apparently the dishwasher's future involved backpacking through Bhutan and the kitchen had tried to recreate the cuisine here. Okay then.

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If that's your thing

That could also be your thing!

So Kenzi hadn't seen Hardison in any extended way, maybe as a guy-to-wave-to as she was on her way out from her shift, or 'that guy hanging with Eliot'. So she figured now was a good time to introduce herself.

"What is with your girlfriend hanging out in the vents?"

Which is what she'd gotten from the Radio broadcast.

Also, hi.

Hardison startled, but successfully managed not to spill his soda onto his laptop, so...bonus?

"Augh!" Didn't manage to keep his unmanly noises of surprise to himself, however. "Girl, don't do that!" How was he still so jumpy after being friends with Parker for years was beyond him, but there it was. "And, uhhh, she just likes it up there. Kenzi, right?"

"Right. And you're Hardison." They were on the same page, it was awesome. "She's not spying on me, or the staff? She just... likes tiny enclosed spaces?"

Also, she was wildly curious about him dating Eliot and dating the girl in the vents, but if he was sort of her boss, she couldn't ask about that directly.

Edited 2015-05-19 20:18 (UTC)

Pfft, he'd just bought the joint. Technically, one of Eliot's aliases owned it. Hardison only came down for the free food he was given under the assumption he had some kind of authority. Once a thief, always a thief.

Shh. Don't tell the kitchen staff.

...He was also not going to point out that Parker easily could have been spying. Who knew? One didn't exactly negate the other.

"Yup," he said. "Tiny enclosed spaces an' heights. Two things I hate. Makes findin' dates we both enjoy pretty tricky."

"i'm okay with the heights, not so much the enclosed spaces," Kenzi shared, looking speculative. Maybe she and Vent Girl could come to some kind of understanding. "The gremlins haven't bit her? That's pretty amazing... Also, if I wanted to negotiate a raise, what would I have to do?" She'd been here a year now, more or less. Been on time to work (more or less). Gone into the freezer a lot. Kept the kitchen guys in line (a lot).

"I'm willin' to bet that she's stared down a couple an' now they know better than to bother her," Hardison snorted. He had faith in his girl's ability to take out a couple of ugly green critters. "What, you wanna raise? A'ight, how much you think would be fair?"

Hardison had no problems with offering raises to their employees. Err, not that he worked here. So, rather, he was sure that Mr. J. Eric Gardner, owner of Luke's Diner, would have no problem offering raises to his employees.

"Hmmm, another two bucks an hour?" she bargained hopefully. "As a shift leader type person? 'Cause I set up the specials and ride herd on these yahoos--"

One of the dishwashers grumbled at her, and Kenzi stuck out her tongue, and casually dope-slapped the bus-boy who was loitering without working. He stopped slouching against the wall and ... slouched into the kitchen.

"-- and am happy to order stuff." She paused and added, "I could find some life goals, if that's a thing."

Or make them up!

"...Do you normally have to come up with life goals to get a two dollar raise?"

See! This right here was why Hardison never bothered getting a 'real' job. This right here. Ugh.

"I've seen it on the internet." Which would be one of the reasons why Kenzi didn't have any of those jobs, either. "...seriously, dude, I'm gonna be 20 in two months, I work as a bartender and diner person, I have no goals. My best talents are extra-legal."

"Oh?" Hardison, you probably shouldn't look so intrigued by that. "What kinds?"

...Maybe she'd chalk it up to random curiosity?

"I may have occasionally appropriated items of interest," Kenzi said studiously. "Possibly encouraged people to share their wealth. And been Madame Zorya, fortune-teller and psychic cleansing expert." That last one was fun because it didn't even involve lying! Just pretending to have a seizure, sometimes.

"Yo, any kid from the suburbs who ever lifted a MCR CD from a mall or swiped their mom's wallet out her purse could say most of that," Hardison said, amused. "Though the Madame Zorya thing has potential, though. Who you con with a story like that?"

"Realtors," Kenzi said in satisfaction. "Bad things happen at a house, they get worried about the publicity, talk up the spirits and the psychic vibrations, then walk around with a little bundle of sage for a bit and declare the place clean, it's all good." She gave him a sideways look and demanded, "And why would I tell you more of the stuff I've done when all I see is a guy with his laptop, hmmm?"

"You're the one who brought it up," Hardison said easily, giving Kenzi a grin. "I'm just askin' if you meant that you went through a sticky-fingered phase at thirteen or somethin'."

Kenzi tilted her head, acknowledging that; both the grin and the logic. "Point. There's been other stuff. Off and on." She stretched out her fingers. "I like working at the diner. It's fun. The food's good. It's not hard to make rent here in Fandom." Easy to save up for other things! "If you want me to do more, I could." Legally or not!

"I ain't the boss here, mama," Hardison said, shaking his head. "An' I know better than to make Eliot think I'm interferin' with his baby. I can talk to him 'bout your request for a raise an' your offer to take on more responsibility, but that's as far as it goes."

~~[Oh god having Hardison call Kenzi mama just makes me think of Hale & BRB SOBBING FOREVER]~~

"All I ask," Kenzi said peaceably. "So you guys are just friends? Not partners?"

In the diner, she meant. Mostly.

~~[MEAN why did you have to share oh god, arrrrgh. *sniffle*]~~

Was this girl really trying to run an emotional con on him? Oh honey, Actualfax Real Care bear Hardison had been running cons with Sophie Devereaux while your hair was still in pigtails.

"We're a lotta things," Hardison said casually. "Friends, partners, teammates, crew, family. You're gonna have to tell me what context you mean if you want me answerin' that."

"Kissing partners?" Look, there'd been octopus in the freezer, and reports on the Radio. Kenzi wanted clarity.

For a minute, Hardison wasn't sure how to answer that. He knew he and Parker had remarkably little shame, but Eliot was a more private person and preferred to keep things to himself.

And then he remembered that radio existed and realized there was no point in bein' cagey about that aspect of their life. The proverbial squirrel was out of the bag on that.

"Yup, kissin' partners, too," he said easily. "An' more'n kissing, if you're really interested. Why?" His tone remained polite and expression easygoing, but there was a hint of steel beneath it.

Gotta problem with that?

Kenzi gave an elaborate sigh of disappointment, then grinned. "Well, it means I probably can't flirt as hard with him if he's with someone else now, doesn't it?" Rolling onward, she added, "And that any flirting I do with you will probably be destined to wipe out on the mountain of Eliot and the subway tunnel of Miss Air Vents." Alas! Woe. Wah.

That had Hardison relaxing, his smile getting bigger and more genuine. "Girl, you tryna hit on my man?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at her. "Better be careful, yo. I'm pretty tough. I'm street. Don't wanna mess with me."

The softest marshmallow to ever be a Care Bear.

"I'm trying to hit on you and your man," Kenzi said without shame. "Just not so hard that the taser-happy person who is wandering around here has reason to tell me to step off. And I bet I could take you."

Those were very stompy boots she was wearing!

Pffft, you thought Karla was bad, Kenzi? Hardison would have no problems signing you up for a thousand porno mags to be delivered to your place. Not even good porn.

Creepy porn.

The kind of porn Vex was probably into. Aww yeah, take that.

"Well, can you blame her?" Hardison asked. "Parker knows how hot her men are. She knows she can't take no chances with our virtue." Not that Parker had had that thought ever in her life.

Because ending the world isn't my thing

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Luke's, Tuesday

Mod Your Diner

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OOC