fandomtownies | Luke's, Thursday Afternoon

Don't get Hardison wrong, he liked memes and internet culture as much as anyone (and a great deal more if that other person was Eliot), but even he was shaking his head at today's menu. "Did one of you just get a Tumblr?" he asked Cook, who, as per usual, ignored him. "Y'all do know that, like, half of these memes are out of date, right?"

At that moment, the busboy came charging into the kitchen, a bright daisy tucked in his hair. "Are you talking smack about my Specials Board?" he demanded.

"Naw," Hardison said, shrugging. "Just tryna figure out--"

"That's it! I am 42187364128760% done!" the busboy yelled, snatching the flower out of his hair and holding it out to the dishwasher. "BABY HOLD MY FLOWER!"

"Baby, I got your flower," the dishwasher said by rote, making no move to actually take said flower.

"Did you just?" Hardison asked mildly. "I am so friggin' done with this kitchen."

~~Today's~~ TUMBLR'S Specials
Cheezburger
None Pizza with Left Beef
Cinnamon Rolls Too Good For This World
All-You-Can-Eat Breadsticks
Tea (Served Too Hot (Hot Damn!) And Meant For Sipping)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just as a warning, if it even looks like you're on a date, but busboy will bring you a large basket of breadsticks and two paper bags.

He is seriously considering taking away the busboy's Daily Specials privileges.

". . . The hell is a 'none-pizza?'"

The owner and general manager of the diner would agree with that revocation.

Hardison couldn't even. Instead of answering, he just pulled up the post on his phone and slid it over for Eliot to read.

Cook, on the other hand, decided that Eliot's question was an order, and quickly brought over a whole none pizza for the table.

...Cook was a goddamn troll, that's what he was.

Eliot looked from the phone to the "pizza" the cook had brought out and then back at the phone.

". . . No."

Because, really. What else could he say?

"Welcome to my afternoon," Hardison said, as Cook trotted over with a heaping basket of breadsticks and two bags. "Yo, c'mon, get this outta here," Hardison said, waving the basket away. "We ain't on a date, definitely not on a first date, neither of us are gonna steal the damn breadsticks."

Cook continued to ignore Hardison, grinning fit to kill and heading back to the kitchen.

"Your staff has lost their damn minds, yo," he informed Eliot. You know, in case Eliot had missed that memo.

"You say that like they ever had them to begin with," Eliot said, handing Hardison's phone back.

"I don't want to ask about any of the rest of this, do I."

"The rest of it at least involves decent food," Hardison shrugged, putting his phone back into his pocket. "Considerin' that none pizza is a damn crime against nature. But, naw, these are a bunch of internet jokes." He raised his hands. "None of which are my doin', even. All on him, yo."

"Right. Because you'd totally never make an entire menu out of internet jokes."

Actually, Hardison looked appalled enough at the 'none-pizza' that Eliot hadn't even thought it was one of his. But still. It wasn't like Hardison was known for his culinary tastes.

"Hell yeah, I would," Hardison said. "But they'd be smart ones and would involve decent food. Not a buncha tired memes that ain't been relevant since 2008."

It was a tossup which offended Hardison more, actually. This travesty of a pizza or the lack of originality on the menu.

"Right, you'd go with at least 2009."

"This from the guy who probably thinks Ceiling Cat is the height of internet comedy," Hardison said. "Keep it up an' I will start pocketing them damn breadsticks."

"The hell is a ceiling cat?" Eliot asked. And then regretted it. "Dunno if you've noticed, Hardison, but I spend as little time on the internet as possible."

"Really? I musta missed that somehow," Hardison said. "...Though, if this was a first date, as soon as you said that, I'd be grabbin' the breadsticks an' be out."

Eliot reminded himself that he didn't want to know. Instead he picked up one of the breadsticks and looked it over.

"Why the hell we servin' something that looks like it came from a goddamn Olive Garden?"

"For all I know, it did," Hardison said. "Maybe he's doin' it for the Vine, you know?"

...Okay now Hardison was trolling.

"Alright, now you're just makin' crap up."

Hardison just pulled his phone back out and yelled towards the busboy, "Yo! Do it for the Vine!"

Immediately, the busboy dropped to the top of the closest booth and started planking. Hardison filmed him for a few seconds, then stopped and looked at Eliot.

"You were sayin'?"

"You know you're doin' absolutely nothing to convince me the internet is a place I wanna hang out."

"You know, I came out to have a nice meal and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now."

HARDISON.

I make my own fun.

FINALLY A GOOD USE FOR THAT DAMN BREADSTICKS MEME.

(PS ILU)

All I want is for someone to go on a first date here. . . .

IKR?!?!

MY LOVE FOR THAT MEME IS UNASHAMED.

(PS ILU2)

Your own fun is FANTASTIC. Omg ilu.

Edited 2015-07-23 16:13 (UTC)

Aahahaha, Ilu2, bb! Glad you appreciated it!

Luke's, Thursday Afternoon

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