fandomtownies | Fandom Trooper Station, Thursday

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Fandom Trooper Station, Thursday

Jessica had been back in Fandom for just over a year now. Since the day she missed the destruction of her world by helping to prevent a completely unrelated multiversal calamity, she had been through so much. Half-eaten by a vampire who drained her energy. Defeating then losing an elder God. Making new friends and seeing old ones off. Meeting God-King Doom mask to mask and surviving. Renovating the jail cells to handle just about anything. She had even had private time with a woman, something friends of hers probably would have applauded if they hadn't been destroyed, horribly.

In the past year, she lost everything, rebuilt, and met her true potential on several levels. She was in a good place now.

And that's why it was so effing annoying that the wind stole her jacket, shirt, and (most impressively) bra and she was walking into the trooper station with only shamrocks covering her upper anatomy. "Ralph, I need a shirt," she said.

One year, she though as she caught the standard trooper top. One freaking year.

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"I was going to stop by here to see how the Trooper Station coffee was doing," said Tamsin, folding her arms firmly over her own be-shamrocked rack. "But now I'm thinking about having you arrest the island."

"Well, we did just upgrade the jail cells, but I don't think we can fit an entire island in there," Jessica said. "Especially since then the station would have to hover in space. Nice outfit, by the way."

She had a trooper shirt on that was giant on her. She had enough on to tease for the moment.

Tamsin... was wearing jeans. They were nice jeans. They were just rather inadequate at the task of covering up all of her, and they were covered in shamrocks.

"I'm not even remotely Irish," she complained. "If you can't arrest it, I'll get Ralph to do it."

Ralph, who had made himself scarce the moment he saw her coming in.

"He just went out on break," Jessica said since she caught that. "You're more than welcome to wait for him. I can keep you company until then."

"Fine," Tamsin said. She rolled her eyes, but it was more of a token eyeroll than anything she was putting effort into. "So how is the station coffee right now? I might have to kill something in my drain."

"I don't care for it. They use their space not-coffee most of the time," Jessica said, throwing shade at caf. YEAH. NOT AS GOOD AS COFFEE. SHE SAID IT EVERY DAY. It was part of clone bonding around the station. "But if the thing in your drain is anything like me, one taste and it'll leave to hang out at the Perk for a little bit."

"That's the answer I was hoping for," Tamsin said.

Her satisfied tone would have to make up for the fact she was still crossing her arms. "I'm starting to wonder if there's some kind of Eldritch abomination just spawning stuff in our sewage system."

"Please don't say that. That means I'm going to have to take some troopers into the sewers and search for giant monsters," Jessica said. "Also, do you want a shirt or are you okay like that?" Jessica certainly wasn't going to complain if she was okay like that.

"Do you have a shirt that doesn't take off within five seconds?" Tamsin asked dryly. "Besides the one you're wearing."

Out of respect for prior fun, she was not going to ask you to take off your shirt right now, Jessica. Rejoice.

Asking for that would have made the work day more interesting. But waaaay less professional.

"I think we still have a couple more of these," Jessica said, getting up to go to a locker. "And I've webbed mine to my skin whenever I have to step outside, and that's worked out so far. You know. If you don't mind having me web something to your skin."

"Is it going to stop me from flashing my boobs at people every five seconds?" Tamsin said, walking after her. "Because I'll let you do just about anything to my skin if you can manage that."

This would probably sound sexy if her voice wasn't as dry as the Sahara desert right now.

Some people found deserts sexy. Don't judge them.

"For an hour or so," Jessica said, pulling the shirt out and tossing it over. "Then it dissolves and not only are you on display, but you also owe the department a shirt. So get indoors quickly."

"Sorry if it's big. They really only need the one size." Because clones.

Tamsin grabbed the shirt. This meant uncrossing her arms, but that was a cross she was willing to bear.

She yanked it on over her head. "I'm going home after this," she muttered, "Killing the damn thing in the drain and having fifty naps."

Jessica was polite and looked at the coffee maker for a moment before the shirt went on. "Fifty naps? Has the thing in your drain been keeping you awake?"

"It keeps gurgling," Tamsin said. "I tried pouring bleach into it, but you think that works? Of course it doesn't."

"Hence the vile space coffee," Jessica said. "Gotcha. How long has that been going on? Because if the answer is 'Since that party,' I'm going to have a lot of follow up questions that I won't ask and definitely don't want answered."

Tamsin rolled her eyes. "Please. I slept like a miracle for like a week after that." Thanks, Jess. "It started, oh... a week ago? I'm waiting for the island to cough up an excuse."

"I'll find a volunteer to go on recon in the sewers in the next couple days to make sure we don't have an invasion of completely preventable sewage monsters or something," Jessica said. She was totally going to do it. Wearing some Trooper armor, though, because that stuff was durable in rough environments in ways that her tights weren't. "I'm really hoping the actual excuse is old pipes or something."

"It's Fandom," Tamsin pointed out. "Chances are it is old pipes, but only because they haven't had their annual sacrifice in years."

"If only we had an occult plumber around here," Jessica said. "We'd solve a lot of potential problems."

"We need more weird handymen in general," Tamsin sighed. She pulled on her shirt. "So did you still have to do some webbing trick, or is this good?"

Ralph tried sneaking back into the trooper station just then. He was no longer wearing pants or any armor on his left arm. The second he realized he wasn't getting out of this without being seen, he apparently decided to pretend that nothing was wrong as he made his way to a locker.

"The webbing's probably still a smart move," Jessica said. "That's some very strong wind. So if you don't mind me feeling you up a little around the bottom of the shirt and the sleeves, I can get that secured."

Poor Ralph. Tamsin noticed him immediately, her eyes narrowing at the guy over Jessica's shoulder. "Sure," she said, then raised her voice. "Hey, Ralph! Long time no see!"

Ralph did his best to pretend he didn't hear that. He was going to put on some pants and then he was going to go into the next room. Jessica would help him if it came to it.

"Do you have a specific person you like to terrorize at every job?" Jessica checked as she made a web-belt around Tamsin's waist. Once that was set, she pressed the shirt down, pretty much glueing it down for the next hour.

"More like every job has at least one dumbass," Tamsin said, lowering her arms now that the shirt was back in place. "Thanks. Now I won't have to punch half the people I see for staring."

Not that she probably would. That took too much effort. A deadly glare worked just as well.

"C'mon, Ralph's good people," Jessica said. "And if you did punch that many people, I'm pretty sure that would get you a citation at the very least. So I think we're doing good here. Making a real difference. Saving broken noses, too."

"Ralph's a dumbass," Tamsin said firmly. "A sweet dumbass, but still."

She looked over towards where he'd run off to. "Thanks for saving me from more paperwork too, I guess."

"Keeping paperwork off your desk is part of the job," Jessica said. "I mean that literally. I'm pretty sure it was on the job application."

Jessica had never filled out a job application in her life. So she DIDN'T mean it literally.

"You filled in a job application?" Tamsin asked. "This place has gotten more rigorous since I left."

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Fandom Trooper Station, Thursday

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