Community center class: Yes, You Can Actually Cook

[vdistinctive]

Eliot wasn't entirely certain if the cooking classroom had always been in the community center, or if the building had just happened to grow one when he decided to teach a cooking class here this summer. He was reasonably certain he was in the same place he'd taken that psychics class, but he didn't remember it having a selection of full sized electric ovens, refrigerators, and ranges. He'd've preferred gas, but around here, with the sort of class he was teaching, that was probably asking for a leak and either natural gas poisoning or an explosion.

When the students arrived, they'd find a series of tables set up in the center of the room, and enough small kitchen sets for everyone to use, so long as they didn't mind pairing off. Eliot himself was at the front of the class, his hair held back with a black bandana, an apron covering his usual t-shirt-and-jeans. The table in front of him had a set of frying pans, a bouquet of spatulas and whisks, several egg cartons, and a variety of vegetables, both pre-packaged and fresh.

"Hi," he said, when class was set to start. He didn't actually have a roster for this one, so he figured whoever was here was who he was going to get. "For those of you who maybe haven't met me, I'm Eliot Spencer. I own and manage the diner in town. I've taught cooking and worked with master chefs all over the world, and I'm caterin' the wedding of the pickiest eater this island has likely ever seen." He smiled. "But we ain't dealin' with anything like that in this class." He picked up a zucchini and tossed it from hand to hand, spinning it in the air as he circled the front table.

"Cooking is an art form, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Cooking is my art, how I deal with the crap life likes to hand me. More important, though, cooking is a skill. Bein' able to feed yourself somethin' good, nutritious, and tasty, is a basic life skill anyone can -- and should -- master."

He set the zucchini down with a thunk and folded his arms.

"Before we get started, let me say this: there ain't nothin' wrong with a freezer and a microwave. They're great. Take it from a guy who's had to live off MREs or what he could catch and cook in the wild. Bein' able to just pull somethin' out of the icebox and nuke it for a couple of minutes is a godsend. But it ain't no way to live your whole life, and at the moment this island ain't in the Gobi Desert. If we ain't gettin' attacked by aliens or invaded by ten year olds, there's no excuse for not puttin' in the effort to make yourself somethin' fresh on the regular.

"We'll start off super easy today: scrambled eggs. And because you need more'n protein and fat in your diet, I've got some quick cookin' veggies for y'all to toss in there with 'em. Me, I like to do it up with a little spinach and tomato, when they're in season." Advantage of portal travel, you could always get somewhere that tomatoes were in season. "Out of season tomatoes taste like gym socks. Never settle for less than a good summer tomato." Like the bright red one he was tossing from hand to hand, now. He swapped it for a plastic bag with a big green dude on it. "If that's too crazy for ya, you can do a steamed vegetable medley." He held the bag up for the room to see. "See? Frozen and microwavable. So long as these steam-in-the-bag things haven't been sittin' in the back of the freezer for six months, they're still going to be pretty good. A little soggy for my tastes, but if you toss them in the pan for a bit with a little bit of oil before you add your egg, they should firm up.

"As for the egg." He picked one out of the carton and held it up. It was brown, speckled, and unrefrigerated. It could only be fresher if Eliot had gone to the farm and stuck his hand under the chicken himself. "Crack it into a bowl. You do this gently enough, and you won't have to spend half the class picking out bits of shell. Add a dollop of milk -- yes, that's an actual technical cooking term, it's basically a small, unmeasured amount, kind of like a pinch only for liquid. Pour for about as long as it actually takes you to say 'dollop' and you should be good. Then add some salt and pepper. Again, this ain't somethin' you need to worry about precise measurements on. Stir all that together with a whisk or a fork, whatever you got handy, makin' sure to break up the yolk, and pour it into your non-stick pan over a medium heat. If you don't have nonstick pans at home, there's somethin' wrong with you. But you can melt a little butter on there first to keep from ruinin' the bottom of your pan with your egg. Then stir it around in the pan as it solidifies until you've got a nice fluffy texture. Literally takes maybe two minutes. Put your veggies in while it's cooking and toss it all together, and you've got a full meal in about the same amount of time as it takes to microwave a hot pocket, and you know exactly what's in it.

"If that's too simple for you, feel free to try an omelet. Or fried eggs. Or, hell, I'll let you try poaching 'em, if you want.

"So. Grab yourselves a pan and some eggs and get cookin'. Let me know if you've got any questions, and if anyone cuts off a body part or sets anything on fire, I'll kill you." He gave the class a mild version of his crazy-serial-killer grin. "Other'n that, go nuts. Best way to learn is to screw it up a few times first."

Comments

Sign in

[vdistinctive]

Not setting anything on fire

Re: Sign in

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan Jarrus

Re: Sign in

[talentforlying]

John Constantine

Listen to the lecture

[vdistinctive]

Eliot can go on for DAYS about this. At least he isn't making you all call him "chef" and repeating "FOOD IS LIFE" at you like a weird new-age drill sergeant.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan was actually paying fairly rapt attention as he watched Eliot work. Of course he was familiar with eggs, just not ones that looked exactly like those, and milk, mostly of a more blue persuasion. He couldn't place the veggies, exactly, but he was going to just roll with it and assume that Eliot knew what he was talking about.

Yeah, he was starting to get the feeling that he could probably get away with cooking his own meals around here without accidentally killing himself, just as soon as he got himself something to cook his food in. That was reassuring.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[soniaroadsqueen]

Ringo mostly paid attention to Eliot's explanation, but part of her attention was on sweeping her eyes across the room. She'd know that this was a community class, and that some of the adults on the island would probably be here, but she was feeling distinctly outnumbered.

Which, actually, she could live with. It was just a weird feeling!

Re: Listen to the lecture

[glacial_queen]

Karla was just remembering the last time she had to do battle with eggs. Of course, she was just a kid back then; she was sure to be much better now.

On the other hand, she had two children with her. That could make things...distinctly interesting.

Scramble some eggs

[vdistinctive]

Too runny? Too firm? Cajun style? Eliot thinks these are pretty idiot proof, but I'm sure there's someone who can prove him wrong

Re: Scramble some eggs

[uncertain_dume]

Yeah, eggs were pretty straightforward. Kanan just followed Eliot's lead, managed to crack the thing open without getting any shells in the bowl, and scrambled.

Okay, good. A few more things to add to the list of food from around here that he could trust himself not to poison himself with. Brown eggs and white milk.

Re: Scramble some eggs

[talentforlying]

Yeah, John could scramble eggs, it was one of the things he did know how to cook. Of course, he was going to use today as an excuse to fry up an egg instead, because mmmmmmmmmm egg-fry, and possibly dump a ton of sriracha sauce on top.

RE: Scramble some eggs

[solo_sword]

Jaina could make eggs! She was trying her hand at an omelet because it was slightly different, but she couldn't really screw it up.

Screwing up an omelet really only meant you accidentally made scrambled eggs.

Re: Scramble some eggs

[soniaroadsqueen]

The scrambled eggs were pretty easy. Ringo managed to not catch anything on fire!

They also didn't take long to make at all, so Ringo got some more ingredients and looked up an online recipe for tamagoyaki. Because that's what she thought of when she heard the word "omelette". But that turned out to be quite a bit trickier than scrambled eggs.

Re: Scramble some eggs

[vdistinctive]

"Nice technique," Eliot noted as he walked by, making sure no one was setting anything on fire. "That's a Japanese trick, right? Makes it much easier to eat with chopsticks."

Re: Scramble some eggs

[myownface]

Okay, so, admittedly Sparkle was here more for the excuse to get out of the apartment on days he didn't work in order to do something that didn't involve getting into shit. After all, he'd taken cooking lessons under Hannibal for a few years now, he knew how to crack an egg.

So he was going to give poaching a shot, because that wasn't the sort of thing he tried just for the hell of it at home. His first attempt came out of the water looking a little rough, so he adjusted his burner a little and had better luck on the next round.

Hell yeah.

Re: Scramble some eggs

[stickitupmyjinx]

Okay, so, eggs. Vanessa could make eggs! Hers might come out a little rubbery, but maybe she liked them that way! (Or had convinced herself she liked them that way over the years.)

So she tried her best to copy Eliot's technique for egg improvement.

Re: Scramble some eggs

[heroic_jawline]

Steve could scramble eggs!

...remembering to grease the pan first was going to take some practice, but he liked chiseling eating them out of the pan! Less to clean up!

Re: Scramble some eggs

[glacial_queen]

It was possible in the six years that Karla had been away from Fandom, she'd learned a thing or two about not exploding a kitchen. Right now, juggling an infant and a toddler, who could tell?

"Mommy, I hep!" Kayla informed her, reaching for an egg.

"No, sweetie," Karla said, trying to grab for it first. "Let Mommy--"

"Oopsie! Mommy, you need a new egg!"

Karla looked down at her shirt which was now covered in egg yolk and sighed. At least she'd hoisted Nommy out of the way in time. "Yes, Kayla, I see that."

"Mommy, the milk spilled, too."

Karla rubbed the bridge of her nose with her free hand. It was going to be a very long class.

RE: Scramble some eggs

[geniuswithasmartphone]

With all the 'hints' that had been dropped about this class (like the whole damn course description), Hardison knew that Eliot was hoping that he and Parker would show up. Maybe even learn something. What Hardison was learning was that egg shells were really annoying to pick out of the bowl and--oh look! It was something he knew already!

"They make scrambled egg Hot Pockets," he muttered, still picking away.

Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

He might even ask you your name. If he doesn't know it already.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[uncertain_dume]

"So," once he had an edible-looking plate of scrambled eggs, Kanan wandered over to have a chat with Eliot. Did you miss him, Eliot? "The Baby's gone. Detonated it out in the mountains the other night. Learned what bears are. Quite an experience."

It was still a step up from having to talk to the bucketheads in the Trooper station about the possibility of safely storing the stuff, mind. That wasn't going to happen. Ever.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Good to hear. Well, not about the bears." Though Eliot was wondering just how similar to the bears he was thinking of the ones Kanan had met were. They were in space, after all. "Far as I know we don't have any of those on the island. We do have alots, which go on occasional rampages, but they're pretty easy to avoid if you don't spend a lot of time in the Preserve."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[glacial_queen]

An egg-covered Karla hauled two small children over to Eliot. "You can either watch them or you can have a fire, your choice," she informed him.

Okay, the fire wasn't out of the realm of possibility considering it was her but having two small children, one of whom was old enough to toddle and flutter bumped that possibility right up to a certainty.

OOC

[vdistinctive]

Yeah, I'm bringing a prepackaged frozen meal to work for lunch today. But I have definitely lived on scrambled eggs with steam-in-the-bag veggies before.

Re: OOC

[uncertain_dume]

... I signed Sparkle up for this, but it occurs to me that Mister-doesn't-know-what-a-salmon-is stands to benefit from this one significantly more. So lucky you, you get a Kanan! Ain't Community Center Class randomness grand?

And steam-in-the-bag veggies are a special sort of magic. They beat out canned sliced potatoes by... a lot. I say this with some authority.

Re: OOC

[sharp_as_knives]

Still so, so tempting...