fandomtownies | The park, Friday afternoon

Entry tags:

!event: bde,
@park

The park, Friday afternoon - Coronation time!

Since sunrise, there'd been a stage sitting in front of the entrance to the hedge maze in the park. The only thing on it was a cartoony, red velvet and gold, fur lined throne. It wasn't hard to guess what -- or whom -- it was for.

Shortly after the clock struck noon -- or more likely, after the clock struck Lars Bergseng, Discord appeared in the center of it, dressed as an old timey town crier, ringing his bell loud enough to rattle the windows and quite possibly the residents all over town.

"Hear ye! Hear ye!" He cleared his throat, frowned, then bellowed "HEAR YE" one more time. "All residents of Fandom Towne are required to gather in the park for the coronation of Discord the Great, first king of Fandom!"

"Oh now, that was just wonderful," Discord said from where he was lounging sideways across the throne. Discord turned and bowed low to him.

"Your highness," said Discord.

Discord applauded.

Then he snapped his fingers, zapping as many residents as he could* directly to the checkerboard lawn in front of the stage.

"My fellow Fandominians," he began, swinging a heavy fur cloak out of nowhere and wrapping it over his shoulders. "I am so proud to stand before you today and accept the crown of Fandom, to replace the leaders so tragically lost yesterday." Tragically lost to that fairy tale tower you could see easily over his shoulder. Because Discord put them there. "While I may have only lived here a very short while, I already know that this island is meant to be my true home, and you all my true, humble servants. I already know that you will come to accept me with open arms. After all, if you weren't fans of chaos, why in Tartarus would you live here? I mean, how many of you just yesterday gave me some speech about how 'Fandom always overcomes' and 'the really weird stuff only ever lasts a couple of days anyway'? You all should be pleased with how I've helped your darling little isle reach her full chaotic potential!"

He frowned up at the sky for a moment.

"Nearly full chaotic potential. She could still use a little more floating. Anywho!" He clutched his hands together, and a scepter appeared between them. "Where's that bishop? Let's get on with this!"

Discord, dressed in an archbishop's cassock, appeared holding a large crown, which he very solemnly placed on Discord's head, while Discord rang his bell and yelled "Hear ye" a few more times for good measure.

All the flamingoes applauded. It was a lovely ceremony.

* You wanna get zapped there, get zapped. It's likely he doesn't actually have much of a handle on how many people actually live in Fandom.

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For milling around, or attempting to steal the throne, or whathaveyou.

It's not pompous at all

Cassandra had not intended to be here at all. One moment she had been angrily stomping about her room, attempting to think of some way to fight the weather, and now she was angrily stomping here.

Glaring.

"Are you bucking with me?" Dante asked, as he materialized suddenly on the lawn. "Rein it in, duckhead."

Yeah, like he was going to stand here and watch this to the end. He was already turning tail and clopping out of there.

Roscoe rolled his eyes so hard it was a miracle he didn't get dizzy.

Everyone was ponies and now there was a pony king and this was all just... a lot.

"Oh my god, what even is my life," he mumbled.

Karla had been explaining to Kayla that, yes, even little pony girls needed naps when they were zapped out of Dite's old suite and brought to the park. Kayla wasted no time throwing herself into the air and flying just out of reach of her mother. "Look, Mama! I'm fwyin'!"

"Kayla! No! What is the rule?!"

"Little girls can't fwy without Daddy," Kayla recited. "But I'm a not a little girl, I'mma pony!"

Dude, who just moves in for two days and crowns himself king?

Tip had managed to get her hands -- wings -- on her Boov gun before she got zapped to the ceremony. J.Lo had given it to her as an extreme last resort, but from the sound of the radio, with the mayor and the principal getting kidnapped, this counted. She braced herself on all four hooves, gripped the gun with her wings, wrapped a primary feather around the trigger, aimed, and fired.

The recoil sent her airborne and landed her, for some reason, in the midst of a drum set, the cymbals crashing dramatically. A flock of little birds circled over her head as she looked up to see --

The stage under Discord had turned blue.

Discord looked over at the little pony, then down at the blue stage. And laughed delightedly.

"That's wonderful!" he crowed. "I didn't even have to do anything to that one!"

Tip let out a neigh of frustration and clamped her teeth on the function switch on the side of the gun. The -- damn -- thing -- was stuck.

On blue.

"J.Lo, you POOMP, you gave me a defective gun!"

Discord rocked back and forth on the stage, legs flailing as his hands clutched at his chest. He had a tremendous case of the giggles.

"Oh I could barely even come up with something like that myself!" He flashed out and reappeared on his stomach on the edge of the stage above Tip. "I'm tempted to keep you. In fact --" He snapped his fingers, and suddenly Tip went from purple pony to giant orange (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/locointhecoco/38696914/1926/1926_800.png). "-- I think I will!"

Tip looked down at herself as best she could, not even having a neck anymore, much less functional limbs. There was a moment of panic where she managed somehow to flip herself over on her stem before she gave up and just lay there, grumbling Boov curses and idle threats.

Well. That was embarrassing to watch.

"Tip, right?" Roscoe said, because it was always good to know who you were rescuing and it wasn't as if she looked like herself at the moment. "This is not your best look."

He tried to prod her with one hoof to roll her out of the way, all while throwing serious side-eye at Discord. Just try to throw some magic at him, Discord.

...Not that Roscoe could do anything about it if he did, really.

Tip squeezed her eyes shut, her orange cheeks going darker as she blushed. "Yes. I hate everything."

"Hey, that blue gun could be seriously useful under the right circumstances." He was trying to be optimistic here. "And it was seriously badass to try."

More gentle rolling. This was definitely weird. "Does it hurt at all?"

"It was supposed to erase him! Or at least give him a stomach ache." The 'tummy trouble' setting didn't work on humans, but Discord wasn't even remotely human, so. Tip wobbled again as she instinctively tried to flail. "The only thing that hurts is my ego."

This was extremely weird.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," he told her firmly. "Who among us hasn't tried to do something cool and wound up failing horribly? I mean, you should see photos of my first attempts with mascara."

He gave her a firm shove toward the park entrance, doing his best to stay on track despite her wobbling. "Do you think the gun is, like, DNA coded so it only works for the Boov?"

"No." It wasn't the first time she'd used one. "It's just STUCK ON BLUE. Because J.LO IS A POOMP!" She was going to be yelling that a lot. Yelling was about all she could do. "Can you make sure you grab it for me?" She added softly. "I can't just fly to New Booveworld to get another one."

"Yeah, of course," Roscoe said, doing his best to dock Tip against the nearest tree to keep her from rolling downhill. "Can't have you losing that. Not when I have so many things I want to turn blue. Hold on a sec."

...Not like she could do much else, Roscoe.

He grabbed the gun in his mouth (sorry, Tip) and trotted back to her. "This is gonna be an interesting ride," he warned. "Guessing we're going back to the dorms?"

"You could just kinda bowl me into some corner if you want." Tip sighed. "You don't have to take me all the way to the dorms."

Where everyone could see her as a giant orange.

On the plus side, if people did see her, they probably wouldn't recognize her!

"You sure?" Roscoe checked, slightly muffled because, hi, alien gun in his mouth. "What if that freak comes after you again? You gonna be okay?"

This protectiveness he was exhibiting right now was very new. And weird, considering how he lacked the combat skills to actually do anything about it if Tip did get attacked again.

"A corner with a roof would be nice," Tip said. She was sounding rather Eeyoresque. "So I don't get too covered in chocolate milk."

She was absolutely going to get covered in chocolate milk. A few clouds were already zeroing in on the depressed orange.

Was Karla buying any of this bullshit? Not in your life. Was she willing to see if she could exploit it in some way anyway? Hell yes.

"In that case," she said, snapping her fingers to call in the tiara Warren had gotten her one Winsol as a joke. Looking very regal in her tiara, tank top, and jeans, she marched over to the 'throne' and glared at Discord. "In that case, I demand that you chance my daughter back to her old self, or Glacia will see this as an attack by Fandom on its ruling family."

You want some chaos, Discord? How about diplomacy.

For her part, Kayla seemed very happy to flutter around in drifts of powder sugar.

Edited 2016-07-16 00:27 (UTC)

"Oh gosh!" Discord reeled back, claw pressed to his chest in shock. "Well, I should hate to cause an international incident. Let's see. . . ."

He deliberately missed Kayla three times, hitting a bunny -- who hulked out and took a large bite out of ground -- a squirrel -- who turned purple and started running backwards -- and Karla's tiara.

Which was now a cardboard Moobyland crown.

"Oopsie! I'm so clumsy!"

Yeah, Karla was now rethinking her plan to have him go near Kayla. Instead, a whip of Ebon-gray power was slicing through the air towards his face.

This could only end well, obviously.

The whip was right on target, slicing through Discord's head diagonally. Discord's head separated and reformed instantly, the whip passing by like it was splashing through water.

"You're vicious," Discord noted. "I like that. How would you like to co-rule with me?"

"Damn right I am," Karla snarled, this time sending a gout if black witchfire his way. "I--wait, what?"

Why was she perpetually getting invited to rule as a dark Queen by weirdos? It was enough to give a girl a complex.

She just made such a good dark Queen!

"Co-rule. I've got the chaos bit down, but I could always use an extra set of magical hands for the vengeful side. Your daughter seems to be enjoying things, after all."

The dark Queen thing she was fine with! It was the weirdos that kept sketching her out!

"Yeah, exactly! Daughter," Karla pointed out, frustrated that her witchfire just kept shooting off to either side of him, leaving him unscathed in the middle of it. "Kinda suggests there's a father to go along with her, doesn't it?"

Which, okay, no, he wasn't here and, no, they weren't married, but SHUT UP ANYWAY.

Discord looked at her for a long moment, then shook his head and shrugged. "And your point is. . . ?"

"...The Hell are either of us going to get out of this marriage of state?" Karla asked, moving closer.

Because she was intrigued by the opportunity and not, say, to get close to him and get him with her snake-tooth or anything! That would be preposterous!

"Entertainment value?"

"Funny, I've never had a dragon fetish," Karla told him wryly. "Or a...whatever-the-hell you are."

And then she was lunging at him, going to rake her nails across whatever part of him she could reach, snake-tooth out and venom already beading at the tip.

Terrifying! And if she got past that field of banana peels and rakes that had sprung up in her way, she'd sink those nails right in -- to a cardboard Discord cut out.

"I'm a draconequus, actually," he said from behind her.

Karla stumbled amongst the rakes and peels for a moment before a bit of Craft had her passing through them and rushing towards that--

"Fustian ships!" she cursed as her nails hit cardboard. She spun around to face him, glaring. "And what the Hell did you do to my vocabulary?"

"Just keeping it tiny pony friendly," Discord said, glancing at Kayla. "They're very impressionable, you know."

Kayla fluttered in the air and waved a foreleg at him, giggling. He was funny! Hi funny male! You made her laugh!

"Naughty language is about to be the least of my parenting worries in a moment," Karla snapped, hooking her finger around the air. Discord didn't need his bones, did he?

You know, he really didn't! Fun with being a cartoon character. Discord blinked wobbily at his bones, still perfectly Discord-shaped next to him, then he beamed. He did a time-step. Then his skeleton did a time-step. Hachacha.

"Honey, you've already won me over. No need to keep wooing!"

"You are frocking aggravating!" Karla growled. She was starting to get the idea that violence wasn't really going to solve anything, but she had to try. If for no other reason than to work through her frustrations.

Pulling up a sight shield, she darted around to his side, using an aural shield as well so he couldn't hear where she was moving or how. Just had to get behind him...

Careful there, Karla. Don't trip over the hem of that giant fluffy pink ballgown you were wearing.

Discord hadn't been concerned about being able to see or hear the residents he turned into ponies, griffons, and dragons when he worked his magic on them, either.

The sight-shield dropped, Karla charged, and that frocking pink, well, frock tangled about her feet and sent her flying.

Into Discord's arms.

And Kayla neighed happily and shouted, "Mommy's dress is booful!"

Karla hated everything.

I will be doing my best to sleep in tomorrow, so Discord and critter pings might not happen until afternoon, EST.

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The park, Friday afternoon - Coronation time!

Before the ceremony

Listen to the speech

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OOC