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Outside Things Reborn | Sunday Afternoon

Today Taako learned a harsh lesson. Don't try to screw over Garfield the Deals Warlock. Because it would just end up with you zapped to gods knew where at the worst possible moment when you're trying to find answers with your dwarf cleric friend. Acquaintance. Taako wouldn't refer to Merle as a friend.

It was with a bright flash of light and a familiar laugh echoing in the distance that Taako found himself in front of the Things Reborn. A piece of parchment floated through the air in front of him and when he grabbed it he found it was a note addressed to him.

Taako -- Don't eff with an effer. As punishment for your misdeeds, you will now be under my employment. Welcome to the world of retail management, as you are now running the Fandom branch of Fantasy Costco until I feel you have paid me back for the Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword of Doom. I require 75% of all profits. No benefits package and no paid overtime. XOXO, Garfield the Deals Warlock

Taako frowned down at the note. "Well, shit."

[And Taako is now in town. More info about Fantasy Costco will be posted on Tuesday when it officially opens! Open post]

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Magnus was on his usual trip to the causeway to get back to the Bureau of Balance moon base before Nathan's party. Which had once again been a bust.

Boo.

But this also brought him through town in time to roll some suspiciously high perception checks to catch the light flash.

"Taako?!"

"Magnus?" He did not seem as shocked to see Magnus but that probably had something to do with his character voice. "You got your body back."

He hadn't been 100% sure about that plan actually working.

"Yeah, it was kinda gross," Magnus said, totally derailed from his original plan of running up to Taako like an excited puppy. "I got the sword, though. Super sweet."

"You're welcome, my dude. Though it turns out the Slicer of Tapir-Weir Isles wears off at a certain point," he said, handing Magnus the note he received. "Garfield is pissed."

"Well, shit," Magnus said, reading it over. "You think Merle is going to show up next?"

Since they were clearly being targeted by a vindictive warlock.

"Not if we're lucky." He'd die before he'd admit any fondness for his companions! "He's getting depressing with the whole 'oh my god has stopped speaking to me' thing."

Magnus perked up because he knew why! Then deflated again as trying to remember went to static.

"Did you guys get to the director's office?"

"Well I was trying to do that but then there was this bright flash of light and then I ended up here." He made a grand gesture at the Things Reborn storefront. "Banished to the hell that is retail employment."

"They made me a teacher." So. Which was worse?

"Of what?" Taako asked incredulously. "Rustic hospitality?"

"I could," Magnus replied hotly. "Buy no, its woodcrafting. And vehicle proficiency."

So, close enough, Taako.

"Oh...kay." Not the weirdest thing he'd heard but it was up there. "Where even are we?"

"Some place called Fandom?" Magnus said, looking around the area. "There's only one moon here."

One moon? Then how were you supposed to turn another moon into a secret base?

"Okay, this sucks some major ass," Taako said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Like, our situation before sucked ass but this is somehow worse."

Right? But on the plus side, it was plausible for Magnus to have a dog now.

He counted that a plus, yes.

"We just have to get back and figure things out," Magnus replied firmly. "There were these... things attacking me."

And Johan.

"What else is new?" They always had things attacking them!

Okay, that was true.

"But these were invisible. And they killed Johan before I got to my body," Magnus said. "I cared way more about him than I did Boyland."

Tres Horny Boys were just monsters for not appreciating Boyland.

"Johan the bard?" he said. "Well that sucks. His mixtape wasn't that bad."

"Wasn't that good either." Boys, seriously. "Wait, wasn't Barry with you guys? Is he still in your pocket?"

Which would just be awkward. Because they'd end up with a spooky lich running around town at some point then.

"Oh I forgot about that." Which wasn't all that shocking. "Lemme look."

Taako pulled out the pocket spa and began speaking to it. "Uh, hello? Barry? Barold?"

There was no Joe Pesci-ish sounding voice responding.

And a dearth of denim, no doubt.

"He better not be a lich again, I don't think we have time to grow him another body," Magnus said.

And they had all missed the man, the myth, the legend... Barry Bluejeans.

"Speaking of, how's it feel being in a new body?" Taako asked. "You look better than when I saw you last."

It seemed unfair to Taako that Magnus got a pre-Wonderland body while he had to cast a spell on himself every few hours just to maintain his beauty.

Well, maybe if Taako wanted to die for that to change...

"It's nice! Little creeped out over why he was even growing it, though."

"I don't know why you kept giving him blood in the first place." That was weird, Magnus. That was a weird payment.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Also, there had been facial hair given to Garfield too. Also creepy. "I really wanted that stuff."

And to keep him from hammering out the nipples on the breastplate.

Edited 2017-05-14 20:36 (UTC)

"You need to up your charisma, my dude." Or dupe Garfield like he had. Or maybe not, since this was how he got in this situation in the first place.

At least it wasn't his dump stat?

"Yeah, yeah. That's why you're around, though." Despite all the weird stuff going on and distrust happening. "Did you... did you want the sword back?"

Because Magnus really liked it. Like, a lot.

Taako sighed. Magnus really was like a giant dog a lot of the time, complete with puppy eyes.

"You can keep it," Taako said, pretending to inspect his fingernails. "It cramped my style."

It actually did wonders for his style but he knew it was in better hands with Magnus. Damn him and his chaotic good alignment!

He was like a mix of dog and bear. A bear-dog, if you will.

Magnus beamed, giving him a sort of half hug with one arm. Because for one, sword. And for another, he wasn't alone here anymore. "You won't regret it! I stabbed a lot of invisible monsters with it before showing up here."

Better a bear-dog than a bug-bear.

"Okay, okay, it's not that big of a deal," Taako said, sliding out of the hug and straightening out his skirt. "It's just a sword."

The greatest sword ever. Damn it, why did he agree to give it up?

Because he had friends who he cared about. And yes, that narrative was in a taunting sing-song. So nyah.

"I'll help out with the shop," Magnus offered like the disgustingly loyal friend he was. "And I can show you the library so we can figure out how to get out of here and you can tentacle Garfield or whatever."

You really liked those tentacles, Taako. Just sayin'.

You leave his tentacle love out of this, Magnus.

"Tentacle Garfield and then get back to business," he agreed. He felt like he was so close to something back at the base. Like he was mere minutes away from remembering he had a twin sister or something.

That seemed like a super explosive realization that would rock him to his very core. Surely they'd allot time for the reaction to it before jumping into the elaborate backstory of how they came to be on Faerun!

"And I can punch him," Magnus said cheerfully. "With my Phantom Fist."

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Outside Things Reborn | Sunday Afternoon

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