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Fantasy Costco | Tuesday

It didn't take all that much for Taako to get Fantasy Costco ready for it's first day. Basically all it took was slapping on a new sign and throwing the inventory Garfield had sent in random areas. Eventually his needs to make things look good would get to him but for right now he was going to be a bitter Betty about having to work here in the first place.

Welcome to Fantasy Costco!
Item of the day
Tankard of Potent Drink
A mug that makes alcoholic beverages in it much more potent. In addition, it can also sober up any inebriated individual when water is drunk from it. Only 2 in stock!

[Refer to this post for info about the store]

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Ya know, if you don't want to talk to the elf in a skirt.

He was there, unwillingly.

Eliot had Val out for a walk and stopped in front of the store, staring at the sign.

"No," he said.

He glared at it a moment longer, then headed inside, Val close at his heels, looked around, and found someone who looked like they might well be the proprietor. He stormed right up, pointed at said person's face. "No."

Give him a few, once he noticed what this place actually sold he'd be cool. He just needed to fuss about it being named Fantasy Costco for a bit first.

Taako did not look impressed. "No what?"

As well he shouldn't.

"Did Magnus put you up to this?"

At least Val was being friendly, wagging her tail and dancing happily in a circle to greet the new person.

"Magnus puts me up to nothing, darling," Taako said with a wave of his hand. "He won't like the outcome if he tried."

Magnus had, in fact, talked Taako into doing things he had not wanted to do several times. And had once picked Taako up and tried to drag him onto an elevator.

You know, Eliot had called people "darling" — or more specifically, "darlin'" — any number of times, but this was quite possibly the first time anyone had called him that.

He had no idea what to make of it.

"So, what. This place sells magic wands in bulk or something?"

"It sells whatever you need to help you while on an adventure," Taako explained. "And sometimes all you can eat coupons at Olive Garden."

"Get a lot of customers looking for 'adventure', do you?"

Eliot. Honey. It's called "Fantasy Costco". Of course it does.

"And how does a . . . 'tankard of potent drink' help out on an adventure, then?"

At least he wasn't going on a rant about the Olive Garden.

"I've been on a lot of adventures, my dude, and let me tell you that alcohol would have benefited all of them," Taako said. "This one time Magnus drank a potent potion from our roommate Pringles and it was hilarious."

. . . Did all of their world's adventurers sound kind of like frat boys?

"Hilarity being absolutely essential on an adventure," Eliot said, dry as a bone.

"Beats being scared to death about vines eating your dick." Which had also almost happened. Hence his fear of elevators. "I'm Taako, by the way."

Yes, it sounded just like the food that Taako had no idea existed.

Honestly, Eliot spent time with a kid named "Sparkle". Around here "Taco" wasn't that weird.

"Eliot," he said. Val barked. "And this here is Val."

Taako looked down at Val. "I can see why Magnus started up a conversation with you. The dude is crazy for dogs."

That explained why he went straight for 'the mayor is a dog' when Eliot was messing with him yesterday.

"Magnus ain't actually met her. He just kinda wandered up all 'hail and well met' at the welcome picnic."

"Just for the record, I say 'hail and well met' way better than he does." Just needed to throw that out there.

". . . Okay."

Eliot did not know why that mattered.

"You know half the stuff in here is just camping equipment, right?" He picked up a lantern. "Decent stuff, actually."

"I don't buy the stuff," Taako said. "I just receive shipments and throw the stuff out where it can be bought. This isn't exactly a job I'm suited for."

Just look at how beautiful he was! He belonged on the stage, not managing a Fantasy Costco.

"Let me guess, you showed up and just found out this place was yours."

Fandom did that sometimes.

"Something like that," he said with a nod. "Came with a note from an old acquaintance saying I worked for him now."

He left out the part where this was punishment for cheating Garfield the Deals Warlock.

Eliot's eyebrow crept up higher. He had some of those sorts of 'old acquaintances' himself, if he was interpreting that right.

"What did you do before?"

"Before adventuring I hosted a cooking show. You might've heard of it, Sizzle It Up With Taako?"

"Nope. Pretty sure we're from different worlds." Very, very different worlds. "You're a cook?"

"Was a cook." He didn't go any further than that. Be kind of hard to explain how he thought he killed forty people with his cooking and then recently found out it wasn't his fault after all.

"What do you do here? Do you teach something ridiculous too?"

Hey, Eliot was a cook who'd killed way more than 40 people.

Not with his cooking, though.

Well, there was that whole "not sure if he killed that guy with an appetizer" thing awhile back, but the Butcher then showed back up in Baltimore, so clearly jabbing stuffed mushrooms into his eyes hadn't done that much damage.

"Nah, taking the summer off from teaching ridiculous shit. I run the diner."

"That sounds way more cool than what I'm currently doing," Taako said. "Is it a classy hipster diner or a greasy spoon? I like both, by the way, so long as food poisoning isn't involved."

"It's kind of whatever the hell we feel like makin' it that day," Eliot said. "Pretty sure the freezer exists in its own pocket dimension, so we can make pretty much whatever we want."

"A pocket dimension? Cool!" Of course he'd think that was cool. "Ever crawl in there to see what's up?"

"If you go too far in, you have to start contending with polar bears," Eliot said. "Or tentacle monsters."

Which wasn't actually a "no".

"Never mind then," Taako said, shaking his head. "And don't tell Magnus about that. The lovable oaf will rush right into it."

"And probably trash my food stock in the process," Eliot agreed. As though he hadn't occasionally gone rushing in to fight the tentacle monster himself. "How do you and Magnus know each other, anyway?"

"We're adventuring partners," Taako said. "I'd get more specific but you wouldn't understand it."

Literally.

"Somethin' about the moon and invisible monsters," Eliot said, waving a hand. "I ain't lookin' for any more detail than that."

"Probably for the best," he said. "The whole thing is confusing to me now too."

What with the whole being lied to the whole time thing going on.

"Magnus didn't seem to have much more of a grip on it, either," Eliot agreed. "Well. Welcome to Fandom. Sorry you're stuck with a store with a dumbass name."

"Thanks, I guess," he said. "I've had worse welcomes."

"The full speech comes with warnings about gremlins and squirrels, but . . . suppose if you've gone 'adventuring', you can probably deal with that crap reasonably well without it."

This shop hadn't been open as long as Peter had been here, so he was curious to see it now. The name meant pretty much nothing to him; he didn't think Fandom was big enough to support two sex shops, so he had no idea what it might sell.

Well, the only way to find out was to come in, right?

"Hello?"

Well it was a better greeting than the last one.

"Despite the mess, we're open." The mess would be there for awhile.

"It'd probably be easier to clean and then open," Peter pointed out. "Need some help?"

"No I like it this way." He was completely serious. Take that, Garfield the Deals Wizard.

That...was a little odd, but okay, to each their own.

"If you're sure." Peter held out his hand. "Peter Octavian. I run the flower shop."

"Taako Tacco," he said, shaking Peter's hand. "Didn't even know there was a flower shop here."

Then again, he hadn't yet bothered to move away from the building to explore.

"...Taco Taco?" Peter asked, just to be sure.

He was going to try hard not to judge. He was 'Eight', after all.

"Yeah, that's right." Which was a completely normal name. Certainly not a name that a D&D player made up on the spot.

"Nice to meet you." He hoped. "Are you new?"

"To life or to the town?" he asked.

"...Either, I suppose."

He was almost certainly new to life compared to Peter, but you never knew.

Taako would love Cheryl Blossom lbr. Excuse my SP during physical therapy.

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Fantasy Costco | Tuesday

Shop By Yourself

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OOC