Devil's Nest, Monday

[arboreal_priestess]

Tiny had suggested they play hide and seek after hearing how much Verity had loved playing as a kid. He thought he'd be able to get out of doing work today. He also hadn't any idea how the Price children had played hide and seek and how their parents had turned it into a training rather than a game. Currently, Tiny was hanging upside down from a noose trap on the ceiling and Verity was making him dust all the high bottles and wash all the glass before she'd let him down.

"You should be glad we're not playing outside," she informed him. "There would have been pit traps."

[No OCD]

Comments

[magnusrushesin]

"Someone totally failed a perception check," Magnus said, looking up at Tiny, hands on his hips.

Well they couldn't all roll mysteriously high like you, Maggie.

[arboreal_priestess]

Hey now. Some people just have lucky dice! Don't hate.

"Right?" Verity asked. "I didn't even camouflage the rope."

So, literally no excuse.

She'd remember she was supposed to, like, greet customers or whatever in a minute when she was done laughing at Tiny.

[magnusrushesin]

Oh, like Magnus knew any better. Because why go for polite conversation with NPCs that Griffin put time and effort into, you rude boys when you could just jump in and out of conversations?

"Does he need help getting down?"

[arboreal_priestess]

Hey, they were just lucky he was remembering to use the right voice.

"Not till he's done cleaning all the bottles up there," Verity said sternly. Tiny, who had nodded fervently at Magnus' question, subsided in a sulky huff. "I'm Verity, by the way. Welcome to Devil's Nest. What can I get you?"

[magnusrushesin]

Magnus gave the poor guy a look that was like 'I got you, buddy' before glancing around. "Do you have any hard cider?" he asked.

[arboreal_priestess]

"In bottles," Verity said. "I know we've got a couple of different varieties of Angry Orchard in the back." One of the benefits of being in charge or the ordering, you could make sure to always have the stuff you liked in stock. "Crisp Apple, Green Apple, or Apple Ginger?"

[magnusrushesin]

Magnus perked up at that. "Anything Gnomish?"

[arboreal_priestess]

"...I have no idea," Verity said, looking up at Tiny. Tiny just sniffed and looked away focusing on his cleaning duty. "I'm going to drop you on your head," she informed him before turning back to Magnus. "Tell you what--why don't I start you on an Angry Orchard and look to see if we have anything Gnomish in back?"

[magnusrushesin]

"That sounds like a deal," he replied. He was just lucky no warlocks were nearby. "I'm Magnus. Magnus Burnsides."

[arboreal_priestess]

"Verity Price," she said, extending a hand. "And that's Tiny." She nodded to the guy in the ropes. "You new?"

And she had apparently been around long enough to ask that. Awesome.

[magnusrushesin]

"Ohhh, so it's because he's a big guy and--gotcha." Magnus took her hand to shake, giving Tiny a thumbs up.

Because all of you were equally NPCs as far as he knew.

"And I am. I think. Trying to get back home, though."

[arboreal_priestess]

Hey now! Verity was the main character of her own series! She was totally a PC!

"Where's home?" she asked, popping the cap off a cider and handing it over.

[magnusrushesin]

Ehh, po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

"Faerun," he said, taking a seat to watch the situation with Tiny. "Which is so not here."

[arboreal_priestess]

Well, she didn't sound like Griffen?

"Or a place I've ever heard of, either," Verity mused, opening up another bottle of cider for herself. "Has anyone given you the whole 'this place is a multiverse nexus point' speech yet?"

[magnusrushesin]

Everyone still sounded a little like Griffin. Just a little.

"Yep, figured that out when I arrived at a non-fantasy airport."

[arboreal_priestess]

"...There are fantasy airports?" Verity asked. "What do those entail? Flying carpets?"

[magnusrushesin]

"Ye--yeah. Yeah. Magic carpets. Flying glass balls. Creepy elevators." They were all traumatised by Upsie. "But the fantasy TSA isn't bad."

[arboreal_priestess]

"See, that's the part of the story I'm having the most trouble believing," Verity told him. "I feel like being horrible is an intrinsic part of the TSA regardless of world."

[magnusrushesin]

Magnus jerked his thumb back to the ungodly amount of weapons he had on his person.

Inventory was important.

"Though there is more danger of dragons eating you on the flight."

[arboreal_priestess]

"That's not a problem I've ever had to worry about," Verity said wryly. "Dragons are extinct in my world. Have been for thousands of years."

Fucking Covenant.

[magnusrushesin]

"What about giant chimera?" Because he still felt bad about that one.

Those poor guards...

[arboreal_priestess]

"Giant ones?" Verity frowned and shook her head. "Do you mean lion-sized or even bigger? Though most of them avoid humans anyway."

[magnusrushesin]

"Waaaay bigger than a lion. Way, way, way bigger."

He hit that thing with his ax. A lot. It was all he had going for him.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Well, weren't you flying?" Verity asked. "That's the easiest way to take them out. From up high where they can't breathe fire at you or bite you with their heads."

Yes, chimera-fighting had been covered in the Price home. Didn't everyone?

[magnusrushesin]

"We were flying until we weren't anymore. And then it showed up and Taako had to burn some epic spells on that shit."

And he was pretty impressed by it. Jealous too.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Did you just say you had a magical taco?" Now Verity was really confused.

[magnusrushesin]

What the hell was a taco?

"I mean. He isn't actually magical. He just uses magic."

[arboreal_priestess]

"Wait, Taco is a person?" Verity asked. Which, she guessed, made at least marginally more sense than a sentient, magical taco.

[magnusrushesin]

"Elf, actually," he replied cheerfully.

[arboreal_priestess]

Maybe that made sense. Verity had no idea about naming conventions for elves. Other than some rumors of alfar in Europe, she didn't even know if elves were real.

"Wait, but how would him being an elf not make him a person?"

[magnusrushesin]

"Huh? Oh, he doesn't like being grouped in with humans." Because Taako was too cool for that shit.

He shrugged like 'what could you do?'

"Runs the Fantasy Costco here."

[arboreal_priestess]

"...Fantasy Costco?" Verity really needed to get out more.

[magnusrushesin]

"How does no one know about Fantasy Costco?" Because they went to Fantasy Sam's Club, duh.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Because most Costco's are painfully pedestrian and not fantasy at all," Verity said, shaking her head. "It's like your fantasy airports--they're so normal and every day, thinking about a fantasy version of them is weird."

Or maybe the fantasy Sam's Club. On of those. Not the fantasy BJ's, though. Because that way lay endless Merle jokes.

[magnusrushesin]

"I mean. It's pretty mundane too." A beat. "If you don't have a Garfield around."

Because you could also buy all the bulk beef jerky and GORP you could stomach!

[arboreal_priestess]

"...Okay, so I see that I'm just going to keep asking the stupid questions here," Verity said. "A Garfield?"

A fat, lasagna-eating cat? A former ye-olde-time president? An adorable British actor?

[magnusrushesin]

"He's a warlock. Of deals." Yep. "Might be the reason Taako and I are stuck here."

[arboreal_priestess]

"How does one become a warlock of deals?!" Yeah, so Verity wasn't going to run out of questions any time soon, it seemed.

[magnusrushesin]

It was adorable that she thought he had the answers, though.

"I dunno. He went to Deals University?"

[arboreal_priestess]

"...Is that a fantasy university?"

[magnusrushesin]

"Y--yeah?" He had no idea. "Probably with a minor in creepy shit."

[arboreal_priestess]

"Are there ther fantasy versions of normal things?" Verity asked. "Like...fantasy bicycles or fantasy stationary shops or fantasy dance competitions?"

[magnusrushesin]

"Maybe if they're, like, flying or shooting fireballs or some shit?"

Because people did dance. You know. No need for magic.

Taako.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Does the fantasy Costco sell fireballs or flying carpets or whatever?" Maybe Verity would have to check this place out.

[magnusrushesin]

"Probably? Taako is still organizing the stock."

He was being kind.

[arboreal_priestess]

"So, you two are stuck here because of some guy who graduated from Magic University and your friend Taco decided to open a fantasy Costco?"

[magnusrushesin]

"...I mean, if you want to simplify things. We're pretty sure it was him because Taako did con him out if a super sweet sword."

It was precious how many offhand statements were being taken as canon.

[arboreal_priestess]

And how many of those offhand comments were giving Verity a headache to try to follow.

"Wouldn't be easier to give the sword back than to open up a whole new business?"

[magnusrushesin]

It's what he did!

"...but it's a super sweet sword."