Fantasy Costco | Tuesday

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako didn't know what Christmas was but he did know Candlenights season was upon them. Which meant covering every single inch of the store in twinkle lights. All of the lights. All. Of. Them.

The electricity bill was going to be ridiculous this month.

Welcome to Fantasy Costco
Item of the Day
Elf on a Shelf
We got a whole box of these and they freak me out please take them


[OCD free]

Comments

[magnusrushesin]

"Hey, what's this weird Christmas th--"

The elves on the shelves were cursed dolls. They were cursed.

"--ing. Did something happen? Are we under attack?"

Did he need to roll initiative?

[taakosgoodhere]

"I wish." Then he could use some of the elves as weaponry. "Garfield wants me to sell these."

[magnusrushesin]

Well, thank Pan that Taako hadn't animated them. Because them Magnus would have to try speaking mannequin at them and it'd be A Thing.

"How?"

[taakosgoodhere]

"I assume for free as some act of charity."

[magnusrushesin]

"Okay, that seems more plausible," Magnus granted him. "We get to smash them if no one takes any, right?"

[taakosgoodhere]

"I don't see why not," he said, using the umbrastaff to float up some more lights to the ceiling. "They're just a waste of space at this point."

[magnusrushesin]

"Yes." They were gonna Office Space those things. "Can you believe it's almost Candlenights again? Seems like only yesterday since I saved Merle's life from turning into crystal."

Valiantly.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Didn't you chop off his arm?" Taako asked.

[magnusrushesin]

"To save his life!"

[taakosgoodhere]

"I don't think he was very grateful after that." In fact Merle seemed kind of bitter about it even to this day.

[magnusrushesin]

It was probably just because Magnus still had his cousin's shoes on.

"He got a cool wood arm, I don't get it."

[taakosgoodhere]

"Wood is the last thing I'd want my arm to be made out of," Taako said. "Did you like your stupid mannequin arms?"

[magnusrushesin]

"...okay, but that was different. I was dead. Kinda." Remember the trip to the other plane? No bueno.

[taakosgoodhere]

"You still had stupid arms." He was very glad to be the only member of tres horny boys to have kept all his limbs in tact, thank you very much.

[magnusrushesin]

It probably had to do with hanging back while the other two did the dumb shit.

"They were pretty awful. Didn't help me at all with the weird, invisible monsters."

[taakosgoodhere]

"I still wish I could have gotten a job with Lydia and Edward." Sure they had tried to kill them several times over but they were still the coolest people Taako had ever seen, outside of himself.

[magnusrushesin]

"But they were evil." And you were at most chaotic neutral, Taako.

[taakosgoodhere]

Taako huffed. "But did you see how much pizzazz they had?"

Did you know how much pizzazz tres horny boys had? None. Zilch. Magnus and Merle sucked away any pizzazz Taako could offer.

[magnusrushesin]

"Evil pizzazz."

And excuse you, Magnus had a charm about him. A gruff, folksy charm.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Whatever," Taako said with a wave his hand. "Grab some tinsel and spread it around."

[magnusrushesin]

"Hell yeah, Candlenights decorations," he said, flinging some up onto the higher shelves with those beefy arms of his. "What do you want carved this year?"

It was gonna be a duck no matter what.

[taakosgoodhere]

"Can't I just get a Starbucks gift card?" he asked.

[magnusrushesin]

"Now where's your Candlenights spirit?"

Wait until they found out that Candlenights was ignored on the Starbucks cups. It was an attack on the very real holiday!

[taakosgoodhere]

"That is Candlenights spirit!" he said. Then, mumbling, "More spirit than wooden ducks..."

[magnusrushesin]

"Hey! I make those ducks with love."

Why won't you accept his love, Taako?