Groovy Tunes: Thursday

[notamascot]

Kaylin was here mostly on time and theoretically on the right day, though she still couldn't help but think the data had shifted around somehow.

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[sharp_man]

At some point during the day, Hannibal was dropping in with homemade soda and sandwiches.

"Hello, Kaylin." He set his bag down and pulled out the food. "Are you awake today?"

[notamascot]

"Yes," she said slowly. "I think so anyway. Why?"

[sharp_man]

"Because apparently you weren't yesterday," Hannibal said, sounding amused but kind.

"I brought you food today. I hope you got plenty of sleep after you left here."

[notamascot]

"Oh. Right." Kaylin blushed a little. "I was going that was just a weird dream."

The food smelled wonderful and Kaylin couldn't actually remember if she'd eaten yesterday.

"I think I did. I woke up in a weird place halfway to my room and then pretty much just slept till I got up this morning."

[sharp_man]

Hannibal shook his head. "You should call someone if you're that tired. We can make certain you make it to someplace safe."

For now, he poured her a drink and nudged the food toward her.

"You had a busy week?"

[notamascot]

"I was too tired to know I was that tired?" Kaylin suggested.

She started in on the food hungrily. "It's crazy back home. It seems like there's a crisis with the midwives every other day - sometimes every day. They only call me if they think they'll lose the mother and baby otherwise and I, I can't just say no. Not if I can save someone."

It was the only way she could even come close to making up the things she'd done.

[sharp_man]

"You need to learn to recognize when you're that tired," Hannibal said. "For your own sake, and that of the people you're helping. How do you think the midwives would feel if you collapsed in the middle of healing someone?"

[notamascot]

"Oh, they know what to do for me if I collapse," Kaylin said easily. "I always remind them to make me drink water if I do. And I can always hold on until the mother and baby are safe."

[sharp_man]

"And when you aren't there, and they need you?" Hannibal tried to catch her eyes. "If you intend to keep this up, you must find ways to make it sustainable."

[notamascot]

Kaylin got that stubborn look on her face again. "I know what I'm doing. They only call me if they think the mother or baby will die without me and usually that doesn't happen very often."

[sharp_man]

"Often enough that this isn't the first time you've been so exhausted," Hannibal pointed out. "Will you let it continue until you pass out in the middle of a healing?"

[notamascot]

"I need to do this, Hannibal."

[sharp_man]

"I know you do," Hannibal said. "But you will be doing it for longer if you take good care of yourself. If you pass out somewhere you shouldn't and are wounded, and they need you before you can return, how will you feel then?"

[notamascot]

Kaylin sighed and stopped eating. "Nobody even knows how it works, Hannibal. Nobody else can do what I do."

[sharp_man]

"I realize that." Hannibal nudged the food back toward her. "That doesn't answer my question. I hope you realize I'm not asking these to be difficult. I want you to consider taking better care of yourself, for your patients if not for yourself."

[notamascot]

"I'm not so good at the whole taking care of myself thing," she said glumly. "I just get caught up in other more important things."

[sharp_man]

"I have noticed." Hannibal shook his head. "But you do need to make more of an effort. Your healing comes from within yourself, by whatever mechanism. I can't help but think that if you are properly fed and rested, you will be able to do more than if you are running yourself ragged."

[notamascot]

"It'll be easier when I'm just in Elantra full time."

It really wouldn't. It really really wouldn't.

[sharp_man]

"Will it?" Hannibal asked. "When they can reach you whenever they want?"

Yeah, he had his doubts.

[notamascot]

She made a face. "Probably not."

Kaylin sighed. "I can't say no to them. It's the only thing... the only way I can ever make up for... I have to. No matter what."

[sharp_man]

"I know better than to suggest that," Hannibal said. "But you must learn to marshal your energy and strength and treat yourself better, if you hope to do everything you can."

[notamascot]

"Maybe I don't deserve to be treated better," she muttered under her breath, but all she said louder was, "Okay."

And stuffed a sandwich in her mouth so she didn't say anything else stupid.

[sharp_man]

"Do all who are treated well deserve it?" Hannibal asked.

[notamascot]

"I don't,"she said and stuffed another sandwich in her mouth before something even more embarrassing came out of her mouth.

[sharp_man]

"That wasn't what I asked," Hannibal said.

[notamascot]

"No. Rich people get treated better than they deserve all the time," she said. "I'd love to give them what they really deserve sometime."

Kaylin made a face. "Which is why they never let me around them."

Diplomacy and Kaylin didn't live in the same world and her superiors were well aware of it.

[sharp_man]

Hannibal chuckled. "I imagine so. So, why do you insist you must earn reasonable treatment yourself?"

[notamascot]

"Because I'm not a good person and I'm not rich, so I don't get a pass like they do," Kaylin said firmly.

[sharp_man]

"What is a good person?" Hannibal asked. "What sort of person deserves good things?"

Sorry, RL is killing me till school's out.

[notamascot]

"Someone not me," Kaylin said flippantly.

"Besides," she said more quietly and seriously. "I've already gotten way more good things than I'll ever deserve. And if they let me be a Hawk when I go home at the end of the summer... I'll help however I can to try and pay back what I've gotten."

Re: Sorry, RL is killing me till school's out.

[sharp_man]

"So, allow yourself a little decent care," Hannibal said. "And repay that as well, if you feel you need to."

Re: Sorry, RL is killing me till school's out.

[notamascot]

Kaylin sighed. "I can try."

"Thank you."

Re: Sorry, RL is killing me till school's out.

[sharp_man]

"You're welcome." Hannibal nodded. "If you won't do it for yourself, please know that I would appreciate you taking better care of yourself. After all, I am a doctor, and if I can't convince you to, I'm not doing a very good job, am I?"

Re: Sorry, RL is killing me till school's out.

[notamascot]

Kaylin gave him a Look. "Please. Everyone I know tries. But... I will. I owe you a lot."