Detective Rosa Diaz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
died8yearsago) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomtownies2018-09-24 05:50 am
died8yearsago) wrote in fandomtownies2018-09-24 05:50 am
Entry tags:
Trooper Station; Monday [09/24].
Rosa had a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach when she got up that morning, so a part of her must have known what awaited her when she got to the station. She still didn't want to accept it, though there was no avoiding it.
And sure enough...raccoons.
"What are those raccoons still doing here?"
"You heard the boss," Ralph shrugged. "They stay until they sober up."
"What? How are they still drunk? It's been three days."
"That was pretty strong stuff that we confiscated, Detective."
"No." Rosa shook her head, lifted a warning finger as Larry made a move toward a desk. "Don't even touch that 'Fandom Weirdness' stamp for the file, there's got to be more to this than Fandom Weirdness."
She went straight for the evidence room where her first suspicion was proven true, though she was really hoping that it wouldn't be. "There! Look at this. Half the barrels are empty! They've been getting in here and drinking the evidence!"
But how? Rosa narrowed her eyes. There was no way they could have scratched their way here, not with these floors and walls, but there was...her eyes lifted up, where a single grate was swung open, and there were definitely raccoon prints all over the walls and the shelves.
"You idiots! They've been crawling through the vents! How did you not notice that? How could you not have heard them?"
Ralph sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, I heard something," he admitted. "I just thought maybe my helmet was malfunctioning."
"Ohmygod." Rosa couldn't facepalm enough at that moment. And she had to keep her hand there for a moment as she forced herself to breathe and not just pick up one of the empty barrels and lob it straight at the closest trooper. "Malfunctioning helmet--I don't know why you guys even bother wearing those; there's clearly nothing in there that needs to be protected. I'm down fifty bucks now!"
"...but we're all still getting the good coffee from the Perk, right?"
"Ugh. Go seal that vent in the holding cell, would you? I'm going to start a couple more pots of coffee, see if we can't dry these sloppy raccoons up before the end of the day."
There was a slight pause.
"I told you it wasn't just Fandom Weirdness."
Well, beyond the fact that they were dealing with bootlegging raccoons in the first place, anyway.
[[ open! beware of sloppy raccoonstitle of your sex tape ]]
And sure enough...raccoons.
"What are those raccoons still doing here?"
"You heard the boss," Ralph shrugged. "They stay until they sober up."
"What? How are they still drunk? It's been three days."
"That was pretty strong stuff that we confiscated, Detective."
"No." Rosa shook her head, lifted a warning finger as Larry made a move toward a desk. "Don't even touch that 'Fandom Weirdness' stamp for the file, there's got to be more to this than Fandom Weirdness."
She went straight for the evidence room where her first suspicion was proven true, though she was really hoping that it wouldn't be. "There! Look at this. Half the barrels are empty! They've been getting in here and drinking the evidence!"
But how? Rosa narrowed her eyes. There was no way they could have scratched their way here, not with these floors and walls, but there was...her eyes lifted up, where a single grate was swung open, and there were definitely raccoon prints all over the walls and the shelves.
"You idiots! They've been crawling through the vents! How did you not notice that? How could you not have heard them?"
Ralph sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, I heard something," he admitted. "I just thought maybe my helmet was malfunctioning."
"Ohmygod." Rosa couldn't facepalm enough at that moment. And she had to keep her hand there for a moment as she forced herself to breathe and not just pick up one of the empty barrels and lob it straight at the closest trooper. "Malfunctioning helmet--I don't know why you guys even bother wearing those; there's clearly nothing in there that needs to be protected. I'm down fifty bucks now!"
"...but we're all still getting the good coffee from the Perk, right?"
"Ugh. Go seal that vent in the holding cell, would you? I'm going to start a couple more pots of coffee, see if we can't dry these sloppy raccoons up before the end of the day."
There was a slight pause.
"I told you it wasn't just Fandom Weirdness."
Well, beyond the fact that they were dealing with bootlegging raccoons in the first place, anyway.
[[ open! beware of sloppy raccoons