Atlas Gym, Monday (December 17)

[notallbluemonks]

So, as Beau discovered shortly after arriving at work (almost on time, even, go her), the whole bottled water situation was going to be a bit of a problem today. Sure, it was great if you were into hot chocolate and all, but that really wasn't the optimal beverage to have after a good workout.

Which explained the "JUST USE THE FOUNTAIN" sign written in blue marker next to the cooler at the front desk, probably, scrawled in heavy block letters that somehow managed to ooze annoyance.

It probably also explained Beau grumbling under her breath all the while she was pummeling the hell out of a practice dummy. (Beating up on the dummy itself wasn't exactly unusual for her. The grumbling, on the other hand . . .)

The gym was open for business, but it was probably on the patrons today to be a little more mindful of their own hydration.

Comments

[magnusrushesin]

"This is the best day!" Magnus was fucking jacked on sugar. Could you tell?

[notallbluemonks]

It was pretty obvious, yes.

"Dude, you have some messed up standards of quality, then," Beau told him, already planning an escape route in case the sugar high got to be too unbearable.

[magnusrushesin]

"But free hot cocoa!"

Living his best life.

[notallbluemonks]

Judging you, Magnus. Judging.

"Boring," Beau told him, scowling.

[magnusrushesin]

"I mean, boozy hot cocoa would be better." Yeah, that was just what he needed. Clearly. "Did you want some? I got a magic cup for it."

Because his DM made it rain with magic items.

[notallbluemonks]

And here Beau was several levels away from even getting her Bracers of Defense. They were low level adventurers here! And had not yet discovered the fourfold awesomeness of Pumat Sol.

"For booze?" Way to get back on her good side in a hurry, Magnus. "Seriously?"

[magnusrushesin]

"Yep! And it can sober you up too," he replied, digging around for it. "Didn't live up to the comedy potential like I thought it would."

[notallbluemonks]

"Yeah, I don't care about that part." Beau was all but making grabby hands at the cup. Yes, she was at work. No, it hadn't occurred to her that restrictions on drinking at work were a thing. "That's an unfortunate side effect, you know?"

[magnusrushesin]

"Yeah, but what if you gotta punch people with, like, accuracy," Magnus pointed out, offering over the cup. It was way better than the Time Cup.

[notallbluemonks]

"Pfft." Beau snorted and waved a hand like the overconfident little shit she was. "I'll be fine. That's easy."

Hey, she was going to rack up the natural 20s in her party!

. . . and also be in the lead for most natural 1s. DETAILS.

"That's pretty good," she decided after an experimental swig. "How'd you end up with that?"

[magnusrushesin]

Just be like Magnus and fudge the numbers. Or get those sweet skills that let you re-roll on saving throws.

"Fantasy Costco."

[notallbluemonks]

". . . the fuck?"

Yeah, Beau was just going to blink at him.

"That's, like. That's a place?"

Or possibly related to Jemedi Cosko, whatever.

[magnusrushesin]

"Oh yeah! It's a great place for adventuring gear. And GORP." Both very important. "It's super weird so few people have heard about it."

He sang the theme song off key and out of tune like it might jog her memory.

[notallbluemonks]

No such luck there, Magnus, sorry.

“So kind of like a really niche market then?” Beau nodded, her eyes half narrowed in what was either a skeptical or a thoughtful expression. Or maybe both. “I mean, that’s not ringing a bell, dude. Might be worth checking out, though.”

Because ‘super weird’ was the kind of thing that got her attention.

[magnusrushesin]

"If you meet a Warlock named Garfield, don't give him any blood." Which should have been a given, but Magnus had really wanted that armor.

[notallbluemonks]

“I’ll remember that.” Beau gave him a weird look. “That, uh. Come from personal experience there?”

[magnusrushesin]

"I mean, it turned out for the best because I was all spectral for a bit there, but I don't wanna what dark machinations went into making a clone of me."

HE SAID IT SO CASUALLY.

[notallbluemonks]

"You. Uh."

DON'T MIND BEAU JUST STARING IN CONFUSED HORROR AND REACHING FOR ANOTHER DRINK, OKAY.

[magnusrushesin]

"Liches, man." He shouldn't say that. Two of his best friends were actually liches.

[notallbluemonks]

"I know, right? What dicks."

Yeah, you kind of set yourself up for that, Magnus.

[magnusrushesin]

He didn't know yet! Anymore. It was confusing.

"Barry was cool though."

[notallbluemonks]

It wasn’t like Beau’s lowly little level 1 self was anywhere near lich-fighting standards yet. She was still a few levels away from even being able to take on an allip, and so was completely talking out her ass here.

“Sure, man, sure.” She wasn’t even trying not to sound dubious. “That’s not the blood guy, right?”

[magnusrushesin]

"Nah, that's Garfield the Deals Warlock." And people wondered why there couldn't be an Adventure Zone/Critical Role crossover. "Barold actually visited me here! Which is weird, but I guess it's like a live show."

What?

[notallbluemonks]

So much squinting and staring from Beau. So much.

"Your world is ... really fucking weird, man. Like I feel like I'm getting a headache from this."

Honestly it would just end with crying DMs.

[magnusrushesin]

Crying or cackling. Or drunk. Actually, all those options would be amazing.

"Could be the alcohol," Magnus suggested.

And look, he hadn't even mentioned the town inhabited solely by Motel 6 pitchman, Tom Bodett.