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Demon Marcus, Sunday

"Hate fireball," Sparkle was muttering as he opened the front door to the clothing shop. "Fuck whiskey," he added as he slipped behind the counter and decided to just rest his face on the top of it for the remainder of the day.

He'd be there to help people if they needed, but in the meantime, hangover fun! Yaaay!

[OOC: Open for the slooowest of SP, since I'm DMing a family one-shot today, pray for me.]

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"Apparently my nails look like shit and I'm a terrible friend and if I didn't come see you today, I was going to get thrown into the pond," Kaidan announced, amused, walking through the door. "How much did you two drink last night, and why didn't someone take Jack's phone away before she could drunk dial me at 5am?"

"Too muuuuch," Sparkle complained, flailing a hand up and around in what was probably a wave hello. "Couldn't take any phones, was too busy turning myself into a sad sad zombie man with cinnamon whiskey..."

He really, really should have gone for those mixers.

"My head is sad," he reported, "but you get to not be a terrible friend again, yaaay."

"Back up to why you were sad," Kaidan suggested slowly, "Why were you sad, Sparkle? If it was my fault, I'm here and I'm sorry."

Sparkle blinked up at Kaidan, and then gave a soft laugh, which earned a wince, and an, "Ow."

And then he flailed a hand around. "No, no, I mean, like, my brain wants to crawl away and die somewhere that daylight doesn't exist." And then another moment later, he added, "There was a lot of cinnamon whiskey and I'm a fucking idiot."

"Drink some water," Kaidan said immediately, "You have a sink somewhere in here? I'll get you some."

"S'upstairs," Sparkle replied, waving a hand toward what mostly just looked like the back door or something. "There's an apartment up there, s'where I keep my stock, but it's got like a kitchen and shit..."

He kept the kitchen... nominally stocked, anyway. In case he wanted to boil water or have KD for lunch or whatever.

Kaidan went upstairs and filled the largest glass he could find with water. When he returned and handed it to Sparkle, he dug in one of the side pockets of his cargo pants and pulled out a small travel-size bottle of Advil and set that down as well. "Should help the headache, at least."

He was a little amused. "Were you partying with Jack again?"

Sparkle made a sad, sad sound as he listlessly pawed at the bottle.

"Yeah? Kinda. Drunk and Bored Club. Jack gave me an invite so I showed and then I drank all the Fireball to get the taste of Seivarden out of my eyeballs."

... That was not how senses worked, Sparkle.

Kaidan took a moment to parse that and then asked slowly, "Tell me you didn't get drunk and make out with Seivarden?"

"OH GOD FUCK GROSS NO."

...

"Owww."

Still flailing a sad hand at that Advil, yes.

Kaidan gently pushed his hand away and opened the bottle for him. Thought about Sparkle's mass and dumped six into his hand. "Start with that, see if you need more in about 20 minutes," he suggested.

"Also? Good. There's not enough Listerine in the entire world."

Sparkle made a small noise of agreement, and then down the hatch, chased by roughly half that water.

"Not enough bleach, either. God."

"Not sure your boyfriend would let you kiss him with that mouth for a good long while," Kaidan teased him gently. "I'm guessing she minded her tongue for the night or I'd have already heard about this."

"Either of them," Sparkle mumbled. "Well. Leto might not care. Leto's never met her."

What a lucky man.

"She kept her trap shut, yeah. If she'd said anything, I would've flattened her, anyway."

... He would've tried. Someone else might have finished the job.

"So instead you flattened a bottle of Fireball?" Kaidan asked. He was a little amused, yeah. That was some quality stomach lining Sparkle had there.

"It was the worst plaaaaaaaaan," Sparkle complained, smooshing his face back into the countertop, "and I have regrets, Kaidan."

"Yeah, I imagine," Kaidan said, "Was it the large bottle or the small?" He was morbidly curious.

Sparkle just looked up at Kaidan then with the sad, sad face of a man who had absolutely brought the large bottle along.

And who somehow wasn't dead or blind. Congrats, Sparkle.

Kaidan sighed and nodded. "Are you at the 'food sounds like the worst idea ever' stage of hungover or could you stomach some starch to help soak up whatever's left?"

Sparkle's answer to that took him a moment. He needed to come around slowly to the idea of presenting his brain with the option of food.

"... I could try food," he said, carefully. "Probably..."

"Saw some KD upstairs," Kaidan offered, "Salt and starch and calories."

He waited to see if that made Sparkle turn green. It could go either way really.

Sparkle paused a few moments himself. And then turned the most pathetic look toward Kaidan before mooshing his face back into the counter.

".... Can you lock up? I'm not gonna make you cook for me just because I was dumb."

Most of that was intelligible!

"You're not making me," Kaidan pointed out, "I offered. Buddy, you need to sit there and drink your water for a bit and let the Advil kick in. I got this."

And Sparkle's answer to that was... utterly incoherent! But it sounded like it might be acknowledgment, at least.

Kaidan pressed a reassuring hand to his shoulder on the way past. He went up to the small apartment and cooked up the KD and made it properly, with more butter than the recipe called for. He also collected another large cup of water and brought both back down when it was ready.

The fork clanked on the plate when he set it down near Sparkle.

Sparkle looked up at that clank, reaching for the water first- his first glass was gone. He was being good.

"Thanks," he muttered, and hey, some of the colour was even back in his cheeks, now. That Advil was helping. "You're a hero, dammit. And I'm never allowed to be drunk and bored again, okay?"

"Not bored enough to try out-drinking Jack, that's for damned sure," Kaidan agreed, "Sparkle, she doesn't get hungover."

"Wasn't a contest," Sparkle muttered, a little sulkily as he reached for the fork and stabbed at a few noodles. "I know she doesn't. I was pouring her whiskey shots when she was ten fucking centimeters tall like some kind of tiny dangerous substances disposal unit."

Kaidan's eyebrows rose in amusement. "I mean, you're not wrong. She kind of is. Maybe mix your Fireball up, go wild, have a Coke or something in between.."

Sparkle managed to make a very impressive whining sound around a mouthful of Kraft Dinner, there.

"She even brought mixers," he muttered after he swallowed. "I'm just a dumbass."

Kaidan blinked. "She did? That's a switch. Sorry, Sparkle - I have to agree that you were a dumbass. At least it's fixable dumbassery, right?"

He paused. "You do remember the entire night, right? No black spots?"

"No black spots," Sparkle promised. "I haven't drank myself to black spots since," Hannibal kidnapped him to Toronto that one time, "... like... a year or two ago? Usually that's, like, trauma-reaction bullshit, none of that here."

Kaidan's immediate reply was a wry, self-mocking smile. "Yeah. Been there. It's why I'm not drinking right now. Epic blackout fuckup. So, I mean, at least you're good there. We'll pour more water and starch and painkillers into you until you feel less like roadkill."

"Thaaank you," Sparkle murmured, stabbing some more macaroni on his fork. "God, self-control is a tricky sonofabitch."

It was a work in progress.

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Demon Marcus, Sunday

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