Jeff, God of Biscuits, Friday Afternoon

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer craved pastries.

And yet, as of ten minutes after walking into JGoB's, he had no pastries. Because someone apparently had a hard time making decisions.

"Maybe the chocolate muffin," mused the woman standing in front of her, endlessly agonizing over what was behind the glass.

"I already have my order," Lucifer said, raising his voice. "Can I please--?"

"Chill out, dude," said the kid behind the counter. "Let her choose!"

He was going to murder someone.

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Comments

[justice_undone]

Breq didn't crave pastries, but she wanted to get some cookies for tomorrow in case Tisarwat stopped by Groovy Tunes. She definitely wasn't desperate or in a hurry like the person in front of her in the queue, who at least this time didn't have a drink to throw in her face.

She waited, guessing Lucifer would be more interested in the pastries than in paying attention to her existence.

[my_own_advocate]

"Does this normally take this long?" Lucifer inquired, of no one in particular besides a sympathetic ear in the neighborhood.

[justice_undone]

"No," Breq said. "The universe is against you."

There was no one else there to point that out.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer stiffened, and not in the good way. "Well, not everyone has the capacity to grasp basic human politeness," he said.

[justice_undone]

"Like trying to jump a queue because you're too impatient?"

She had knew people who did and people who didn't do that. It usually came with a lot of other things.

[my_own_advocate]

"She's been here for an eternity," Lucifer said irritably, "And she can't choose. That's just terrorism."

[justice_undone]

"I think that's an exaggeration."

This coming from someone who had experienced terrorism and what tended to happen to counter it.

[my_own_advocate]

"Oh, so you enjoy standing here for hours?" Lucifer said irritably. "Be my guest."

[justice_undone]

"Hours?"

She didn't even bother trying to smile, but glanced at the kid behind the counter.

"Didn't you say you were the devil?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Yes," Lucifer said, "And I have standards."

[justice_undone]

"Like preferring places that let you jump the queue because you're impatient?"

Breq was fed up with people who did.

[my_own_advocate]

"Like preferring places that actually attend to customers with actual orders, instead of time-sucking fools who can't even decide between a strawberry and a chocolate eclair," Lucifer said.

[justice_undone]

"That's more or less the sane thing," Breq said.

"Don't you have plenty of time? Or is being the devil busy work?"

[my_own_advocate]

"That doesn't mean I like waiting in line," Lucifer snapped.

[justice_undone]

"Most of us have to do things we don't like," Breq pointed out. "Not everyone throws drinks in people's faces when they get upset."

[my_own_advocate]

"Not everyone makes rude comments about other people's families on first meeting, either," Lucifer said, smile as big as it was fake. "We all have our crosses to bear."

[justice_undone]

"Rude comments?"

Breq wasn't sure where he got that from. She couldn't recall making any.

[my_own_advocate]

"You were extremely rude," Lucifer said helpfully.

[justice_undone]

"I think you have to explain how," Breq said. "You're the first person on this island to throw a drink in my face."

[my_own_advocate]

"I don't have to explain anything to you, you're the one who insists on being insufferable."

[justice_undone]

"Even if I wanted to change that it would be hard to do if you don't tell me how," Breq said. "Or you could just play the victim."

[my_own_advocate]

"Tell me," Lucifer said, casting a glance to Breq, "Do you try so hard to be judgmental, or do you find that it comes naturally?"

[justice_undone]

"I don't think anyone has ever accused me of being judgmental," Breq said.

Ships would never speak the way to an officer the way she spoke to Lucifer now.

"Do you usually throw drinks in people's faces when you're upset?"

[my_own_advocate]

"If they deserve it," Lucifer said, looking back towards the browsing customer.

[justice_undone]

"And how do you decide who deserves that?" Breq asked. "Most of the time is seems a bit petty."

[my_own_advocate]

"You would think that," Lucifer started.

The customer in front of them righted herself. "You know what," she said. "I shouldn't. Calories."

Lucifer watched her march off with big, affronted eyes. "Why--! That is just in poor taste!"

[justice_undone]

"Take your time," Breq said. "No one is going to stand behind you and complain."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer rolled his eyes - a lot - and stepped forward to put in his order.

It involved a lot of chocolate.

[justice_undone]

Unlike some people Breq waited, hoping that Lucifer would be too desperate for pastries to throw one in her face.

[my_own_advocate]

As if Lucifer would waste a good decadent indulgence for no good reason. The last time had been earned, Breq.

He got his box of pastries, glared at her, and then promptly strode past her towards a table.

He put his foot on the other chair, just in case.

[justice_undone]

Breq made sure to smile as she ordered a bag of cookies, paid, then turned to leave, throwing a glance at that foot on the chair.

"Don't worry," she said.

[my_own_advocate]

"Good, I'm not," Lucifer said brightly.