Fandom Trooper Station, Wednesday

[hatesparadise]

The background noise was still happening throughout the entire island, leaving Danny absently humming along at his desk. Which was A Thing once he noticed he was doing it.

Because this place was trying it's best to wear him down.

"A fox sold you counterfeit art," Danny said into the phone, feeling that migraine just coming as he wrote down the details of this truly heinous crime. "Of course. Makes total sense."

[open!]

Comments

[fh_animalcrossing]

Did someone say "fox selling art?"

"That's libelous slander," Redd said, wandering in. "My art pieces are beautiful. And sometimes dynamic. Or wild. Any resemblance to any piece living or dead is purely coincidental."

[hatesparadise]

"One, how did you get in here?" If this fox successfully bribed the troopers with a potted plant or something, Danny was going to yell.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"The door," Redd said. "Seemed nicer than climbing through a window."

[hatesparadise]

"Uh huh." A likely story. "And you wanna talk about these fraud allegations?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"I'd rather talk about your decorating skills," Redd said. "You ever consider adding some statuary in here?"

[hatesparadise]

"Statuary?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"I'm picturing a valiant statue," Redd said, looking thoughtfully into the corner. "Or maybe a robust statue."

[hatesparadise]

"And just what is the difference between those two?" Danny was deeply annoyed he had to ask this question, you know.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"One of them is valiant," Redd said. "And the other is robust."

[hatesparadise]

"That means nothing to me," Danny replied promptly. "Those are just vague adjectives that tell me nothing."

[fh_animalcrossing]

"If you want to see them, you should come by my boat," Redd said. "Jolly Redd's Treasure Trawler." He tilted his head with a little happy *bling!* kind of sound. "Maybe I'll even give you the Fandom Island discount!"

The discount price was exactly the same as the regular price, yes. Which would both be much, much less than his initial quoted price. Because he and Danny were already such good friends.

[hatesparadise]

"...uh huh. Is that at the dock?" So he could hunt you down later, Redd. For arresting.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Nope."

Sorry, Danny, it wouldn't be that easy.

"I bet you can find me anyway. Just listen for the sound of a great deal."

[hatesparadise]

C'MON. DID HE HAVE TO TRAVEL ALL OVER THE ISLAND TO FIND THIS GUY?

"Don't you worry, we'll find you." And not for the deals. Well. Maybe not. "Where exactly did you obtain this art?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Oh, you know. . . ." Redd said vaguely. ". . . Places. . . ."

[hatesparadise]

"Helpful. That's really helpful," Danny replied dryly. "Now why would people accuse you of selling them fakes?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Maybe they don't like my prices."

[hatesparadise]

"So, if I go ask them, they'll corroborate that?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Maybe," Redd said. "And if you come by my boat and buy a statue, you'll see that my prices can be very reasonable for my good friends."

[hatesparadise]

"I'll give it some thought." He'd do nothing of the sort.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"You do that." Redd nodded and wandered back towards the door. "See you around, champ."

[lovethatjourney]

Listen, Alexis just wanted to sell some damn stuff.

"Hi!" she said, poking her head in. "What are your turnip prices?"

SHE WAS TRYING. SHE WAS TRYING SO HARD.

[hatesparadise]

"...this is a police station," Danny said as one of the troopers looked up a little too keenly for an answer.

The Turnip Market got everone in the end.

[lovethatjourney]

"Yeah, I know, but the raccoons are buying them for barely more than I paid for them after three days, so I need to check what prices everyone else has," Alexis explained.

[hatesparadise]

"For turnips," Danny repeated.

Everyone knew that real money was in bugs anyway.

[lovethatjourney]

"I'm not losing any more money," Alexis nodded. "Hypothetically, what would you buy them for?"

[hatesparadise]

"I wouldn't be buying them at all." That was the opposite if helpful there, Danno.

[lovethatjourney]

"But hypothetically," she said.

[hatesparadise]

Danny sighed so hard at that. "I can't give you an answer without knowing what the prices were throughout the week to see when they peak."

You asked a guy who minored in microeconomics well enough to successfully go undercover as a college professor on the subject, Alexis.

[lovethatjourney]

"Okay! I bought them for 103 and then they were 46 and now they're 128, and no one at any other business will sell them so far."

Because this was insane.

[hatesparadise]

"If you find it for over 128, sell." That was actual advice that might help her.

The trooper from before was possibly taking notes on this.

[lovethatjourney]

"Don't suppose you'd pay 129."

Had to try.

[hatesparadise]

"I'm not bailing out your bad investment."

[lovethatjourney]

"Ugh, fiiiiine. But it's not a bad investment as much as a potential great investment," she tried.

[hatesparadise]

"Sounds like a bad investment," Danny said with a 'what can you do?' shrug.