Dite's Decadent Delights - Thursday

[badassprodigy]

So.

Barry was working for Kathy. At Dite's. Don't ask how this came about or even how Kathy convinced him to do this. The words "exposure therapy" were used.

And there were certainly plenty of exposed things at Dite's.

Dite's is open. Anyone needing assistance would find Barry behind the counter trying to just stay still and acclimate himself to his new environment.

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante wasn't dropping by 'Dites to torture Kathy's apparently porn-phobic friend. He wasn't that mean.

... he was dropping by 'Dites in secret to stop Kathy from going haywire and micromanaging his first meeting with her friend to the point of having an anxious meltdown. Like a good boyfriend.

He pushed open the door. "Yo, anybody here?"

[badassprodigy]

Well. So much for Kathy telling Barry he wouldn't have any customers.

"Yeah. Over here," Barry said making sure his voice didn't crack. "Welcome to Dite's. I'm Barry. How can I service you? Fuck! I mean help you."

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante sauntered up to the counter, all bright red coat and long white hair hanging over his smug grin. "Service me, huh? Didn't realize this was that kinda place."

[badassprodigy]

"Freudian slip," Barry said feeling his ears get hot. "Sorry. We only provide accessories so you can service others. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"Well, see, I got this girlfriend," Dante said, leaning on the counter, "Tiny, bounces a lot, really big on mini-skirts, could probably use a few extra..."

Dante, stop trolling.

[badassprodigy]

Oh, Dante. Don't stop on Barry's account.

"Women's clothing? Sure. I know fuck all about that," Barry said coming out from the counter and waved to a corner of the store. "There's clothing and shit over there. I'll share the only one thing I've learned about women's clothes in my entire fucking life: They like deep pockets. Not like in a perverted way but apparently women's clothing is completely non-functional."

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante nodded sagely. "So you're a sex shop... that stocks mini-skirts... with deep pockets... for shit that's not perverted?" he said. "Did I get that right? What if she wants just a nice, big dildo pocket?"

He was going to introduce himself in just a sec.

[badassprodigy]

Honestly it's better they meet this way than through Kathy anyway.

"Well I guess that depends on the size of the dildo they need," Barry stammered out. "Sorry, dude. It's my first fucking day. I don't know any of this shit first hand."

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante gave him a grave, completely overexaggerated look of alarm.

Then he burst out laughing.

"Sorry, man, I'm just fucking with you," he said. "My girlfriend's the owner. You mighta know her."

[badassprodigy]

There was a loud smack and Barry violently face-palmed himself.

"Tiny, bounces a lot, really big on mini-skirts. Yep. Should have guess that," he groaned which dissolved into a chuckle. He held out his hand for a handshake. "Good one. Nice to meet you Dante."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Nice to meet you too, Barry," Dante said, grinning, and giving Barry a really firm handshake. "She had a feeling you were gonna be nervous. And is planning some kinda elaborate 'Barry, meet the fam' thing that is gonna be way out of proportion and like, tense, so I figured I'd sneak in early."

[badassprodigy]

"Yeah, smart plan," Barry said. "Very fucking smart. One thing about Kathy that hasn't changed since I last saw her is her enthusiasm. She's told me a bit about what's happened since I was gone but not all the details. She seems happy though punching demons in Limbo. I know Anders wasn't from there so that's your thing?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"Yep," Dante said, a little rueful. "Demons used to run the place. I killed their head honcho a few years ago but it kinda broke the veil between the regular world and Limbo."

Beat.

"Limbo as in the place where demons live. Not like Limbo City. Pretty sure that idea was the fucking demons', though."

[fh_animalcrossing]

Ellie didn't know what this store was, but she wandered in to check it out.

Was this a mistake?

[badassprodigy]

Very much a mistake. As the bell rang Barry looked down and felt the need to hide everything in the store.

"Uh. Hi. Are you looking for something?"

Please don't say anything in this shop. Please.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"I'm just looking, lil one," Ellie said pleasantly. "Everything's just so new here!"

[badassprodigy]

"Lil one?"

Seriously?

"Look... um. Everything in here costs millions of bells? So. Yeah. You probably don't want to buy anything here."

Please don't break Barry and ask him to explain what things are, Ellie.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Oh, okay. I don't want to spend millions of bells on anything. That's why I don't have a basement!" Ellie laughed. "Thanks for telling me. You're a true friend!"

[badassprodigy]

Basement?

"Okay. Sure. I just met you so, yeah true friends," Barry said forcing a grin.

[fh_animalcrossing]

You had to build some rooms, and then a second floor. Then a basement. Normal stuff, for millions of bells that I am still paying off.

"When I was little, I thought it'd be fun to live inside a store like this," Ellie said.

Well, maybe not like this. But a store in general.

[badassprodigy]

"Really?"

...

"Well if this is your thing then more power to you."

You go Ellie!

[fh_animalcrossing]

"But now I think I spend too much time in stores," Ellie said.

[badassprodigy]

Thank God. Because it would break Barry to answer any questions from Ellie in this shop.

"Well then, thank you for coming by," Barry said cheerfully hoping this meant that the elephant was leaving because he felt like this was somehow like corrupting a minor.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Hey, I have a favor to ask you," Ellie said. "Can you help?"

Are you going to say no to this sweet girl, Barry?

[badassprodigy]

That depends on the favor...

"Well, I can try?" Barry said with a lot of hesitation.