Around Town, Sunday afternoon

[grenadesandohana]

A low-down, no good raccoon had stolen the medals and rank and trident right off of Steve's jacket at the ball last night, which was completely unacceptable.

It didn't explain why Steve was still in said white dress uniform, nor why it was still completely stain-free despite a long night exploring tunnels for clues with Danny and his horse-who-could-turn-into-a-seahorse-but-that's-classified, Hoo-ah. Hoo-ah couldn't talk, but his face was very expressive and had been an amazing asset in shaking down the raccoons for information.

And that explained--well, sort of--why Steve and Danny were chasing a raccoon through the streets of Fandom. Again.

Comments

[hatesparadise]

"Why does this keep happening?" Danny shouted, trying to keep pace with Steve and his stupidly long legs.

[grenadesandohana]

"We're just lucky, I guess," Steve said as the raccoon grabbed a handy trash can lid and used it to sled down the stairs.

[hatesparadise]

"Don't get any ideas!" Danny snapped, pointing at Steve like he could get out of some cartoon bullshit.

[grenadesandohana]

"It's good to have ideas!" Steve said. "There's got to be a faster way than what we're doing."

[hatesparadise]

Well, there was a rickshaw there. "No."

[grenadesandohana]

"Let's take the rickshaw!"

[hatesparadise]

"Why does this keep happening here?" Danny asked the sky like maybe he'd get an answer to it. But grudgingly got in. "Please be careful. Please. For me."

[grenadesandohana]

Well, if it helped, Danny, it seemed like the rickshaw was on a giant circular track?

"I'm being careful!" Steve said, jamming on the accelerator. It didn't make them go much faster, but he felt like it did, and that was the important part, right?

[hatesparadise]

It only helped a little! Mostly because there was the faint sound of music filtering out of the speakers on the rickshaw. When did it get speakers?

Stop asking questions.

"What is that?"

Danny. No questions allowed.

[grenadesandohana]

"It's nice!"

Steven. No.

"There he goes!" Conveniently along the track because it would be no fun at all if the raccoon hung a left and Steve and Danny were just stuck in this rickshaw ride.

[hatesparadise]

The raccoon somehow managed to stay perfectly ahead of them, glancing back dramatically from time to time when it seemed like they just might catch it.

"Does this seem weirder than normal?"

[grenadesandohana]

Steve turned to him while still wearing his magically white dress uniform. "What makes you think that?"

[hatesparadise]

Danny just stared at him for a moment. "Oh. No reason."

[grenadesandohana]

"Look out, here comes a fruit stand!" Steve said, ducking his head while continuing to...really do nothing because this was a ride.

[hatesparadise]

"A fruit stand??" And sure enough, there was a fruit stand, very slowly crossing their path.

Somehow the white suit would still remain pristine.

[grenadesandohana]

Yes, but someone was ending up with half a watermelon as a hat, so...tough break, Danno?

[hatesparadise]

THAT WAS HARDLY FAIR, STEVE.

By the time they were through the cart and fruit detritus were behind them, Danny was trying his very best to swear as he yanked the damn watermelon off his head. "This is your fault!"

Though somehow his hair was also exactly the same once he wiped the watermelon goop off.

[grenadesandohana]

"Aww, but I liked that hat!" Steve said, taking his eyes off the road in front of him to grin.

Not that it mattered. They couldn't get any faster.

[hatesparadise]

Luckily for him, the slow delivery of a large sheet of glass was far enough ahead for him to get cheeky.

"I will throw out all your smoothie stuff!"

[grenadesandohana]

"You wouldn't!" Steve gasped. In front of them, the raccoon also gasped.

[hatesparadise]

Danny just shot both of them one of those 'really??' looks. Because of course this would be the thing they'd agree on.

"I really would."

[grenadesandohana]

"That's so mean!" Steve said, still not noticing the laughably slow moving piece of glass.

[hatesparadise]

Well, the bickering was way more important!

"We are somehow in another high speed rickshaw chase! It's deserved!"

[grenadesandohana]

"These are fun!" Steve said.

[hatesparadise]

"It is not!" It was fun for the audience.

[grenadesandohana]

"C'mon, we're gaining on him!"

Only because the raccoon was slowing down because of the giant piece of glass, Steven.

[hatesparadise]

"Glass!" Yes, Danny had noticed. However would they avoid this trouble??

[grenadesandohana]

"Jump!" Steve decided, tucking and rolling out of the rickshaw just as the glass guys...moved fast enough to miss them.

Because kids' ride.

[hatesparadise]

"Jump?!" Steve, you were gonna have to drag him with you.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve was absolutely dragging him with him as he pointlessly leaped out of the rickshaw.

You're welcome!

[hatesparadise]

"What the he---ck!" That deserved a swear, thank you!

[grenadesandohana]

"I saved your life!"

Nope.

[hatesparadise]

"Did you?!" Because the glass made it's way safely out of the way. The cart, on the other hand? Off the rails.

[grenadesandohana]

The raccoon, at least, had stopped to boggle at the ridiculousness, so they had that going for them!

"Of course I did," Steve said. "You're my Danno."

The Uptight Women for Heteronormativity would be writing some letters.

[hatesparadise]

The rickshaw careened off a curb like it was a ramp and right into that popcorn maker. Because it never escaped harm.

"...thanks."

[grenadesandohana]

RIP, popcorn maker. That was probably paperwork for Danny, huh?

"Of course," Steve said with a beaming smile. "Let's get my medals."

[hatesparadise]

OF COURSE IT WAS.

Danny sighed, covering his eyes. "Sure. Medals."

[grenadesandohana]

"They're important," Steve said, getting ready to tackle a raccoon like he'd never heard of rabies.

[hatesparadise]

Well, rabies didn't exist in this world! The raccoon did a little butt wiggle in anticipation of that tackle, but the poor guy neglected to realize this was the finale.

"Steven, do not--"

[grenadesandohana]

"Do not what?" Steve asked, mid-leap.

[hatesparadise]

The raccoon leapt at the same time, but almost like it was meeting him half way. As one does in a Disney movie when the stakes are low.

"Or do. Okay."

[grenadesandohana]

Were they going to engage in a slo-mo fist fight? Maybe.

[hatesparadise]

Why did you want to hurt him like this, Steve? Why?

Danny sighed and covered his eyes because he didn't need to see Steve knock out a raccoon like he was Rocky Balboa.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve would feel kinda bad about it on Monday but not now! He punched the crap out of that cartoonish raccoon and yanked its little sack of pilfered goods away.

"Book him, Danno."