The Park, Wednesday Noon

[my_own_advocate]

Most people who were confronted by suitcases of their many, many issues popping up all over the place would probably want to avoid crowds. And you know what? There had been a fifty-fifty chance of Lucifer locking himself up in the house with the bag that read Fratricide and the particularly large brown suitcase marked Unworthy of Love.

Unfortunately, his defiant streak had kicked in instead.

"Abso," he said, and kicked the suitcase down the path.

"Lutely," he said, and punted the suitcase across the grass.

"Not," he concluded, and hurled 'Self-Loathing' into the pond.

His eyes were a bit manic as he twisted around and looked at the massive pile sitting on the path. "Right!" he called. "Who's next?! Come on! Any takers?! Anyone feeling particularly tormenty and in need of a reality check at the end of my foot?"

... yeah, he was having a moment.

[[ open! ]]

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[betterthanaplan]

Duke was deeply disappointed that leaving his boat hadn't actually meant leaving his baggage behind.

"Oh look." He let out a deep sigh and pointed to his own Unworthy of Love suitcase. "Samesies."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer whirled around the second he heard Duke's voice. "What?" he said.

Then noticed the suitcase Duke was pointing at.

Then looked aside and spotted, yes, a similar one on his own pile. "Again?" he said irritably. "I swear these things are gluttons for punishment--"

Yes, he was pacing towards his own bag, yanking it out of the stack, and hurling it... in the direction of the ocean, actually.

[betterthanaplan]

"That actually working for you?" Duke asked. He nudged a Controlling Father bag with his foot and wondered which one of them it was directed at.

[my_own_advocate]

"I don't know, but I'm not leaving this insanity unanswered," said Lucifer, who was definitely not looking his sanest as he returned to the pile.

That Sabotaging Everything Good In My Life trunk was huge, but it didn't stop him from lifting it over his head and throwing it at the pond.

Several flamingos screeched and ran for it.

[betterthanaplan]

"Woah. Okay. Let's maybe not murder any birds, here." Duke hurried over, reaching for him, and tripped over a lovely embroidered yoga bag reading Control Issues.

[my_own_advocate]

"They can fly," Lucifer pointed out, rolling his eyes.

He tipped over the returned Fratricide suitcase with his foot, hoping he got to it before Duke actually noticed it.

[betterthanaplan]

Oh hey! Duke hadn't gotten his own version of that one yet. But it was only a matter of time.

"The fish, then," Duke said. "Maybe just beat them up instead of throwing them? I could get an ax."

[my_own_advocate]

"Oh, if you insist," Lucifer said, turning back towards him. No specifically offensive luggage appeared in that moment, so he could at least pause and say that much. "An axe would work."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke brightened a bit. "On it."

At least that enormous only value in service to others steamer trunk that showed up as he turned to go wouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.

[my_own_advocate]

"Incredible," Lucifer muttered under his breath.

The repressing feelings for boat people luggage at least had the grace to show up after Duke was already on the move, just so Lucifer could annihilate it with his foot.

SO. Much. Repression, read the next one.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke made excellent time. It was possible he'd taken to stashing convenient axes around town for just such a purpose.

Hence the matching golf bags labeled hypervigilance and paranoia.

He flipped the ax in his hand and offered it handle-first to Lucifer. "There you go."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer took it, and gave it a practiced swing, judging the balance critically. "It'll do," he said, and brought it down hard on the So Much Repression suitcase.

[betterthanaplan]

. . . Yeah, Duke was just going to watch that without comment.

Was it weird that he found that kind of hot? No particular luggage seemed to appear in response to it, so he was going to go with 'no it wasn't'.

[my_own_advocate]

Considering what Lucifer was like, it was probably easy to forget he was also a warrior in his own right. The way he was dissecting that suitcase with powerful, precise blows might be a reminder.

"Right, that was one," he said, pulling back. "You have any you'd like to see dispatched?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke glanced around at the myriad of issues suitcases scattered around him. "Maybe that one."

It said martyr complex. Duke thought he was funny.

[my_own_advocate]

The odd, terrible thing was that Lucifer was so used to externalizing his issues anyway that this almost felt like a return to fine Los Angeles form for him. Not that he was going to admit that.

(He was going to repress it.)

"I suppose it has a certain poetic quality to it," he said, stalking over to the martyr complex case. "Well, here we go."

To pieces, it went.

[betterthanaplan]

"Oh man, that's hot," Duke murmured. (And stomped down on the little uses sex as a distraction bag that appeared while Lucifer was hacking away. Completely missing the gets used for sex by others for distraction bag behind it.)

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer gave the axe another little twirl as he straightened back up.

Used sex just to feel something didn't sit all that far from Duke. He hadn't noticed it yet, either, but he did get a flash of Duke's bag as he turned towards him.

"This might take a while," he allowed.

[betterthanaplan]

"I probably should have grabbed another ax."

And there was that dense little eternal fuckup bag again.

[my_own_advocate]

"Maybe we should think bigger," Lucifer said, stalking towards him. "Something with fire."

The terrified of intimacy bag wasn't oriented towards him, but rather to Duke, but he kicked it over anyway because it couldn't be anything good.

[betterthanaplan]

They had way too many issues in common. Duke was going to end up losing track of whose bags were whose.

"I am a fan of fire."

[my_own_advocate]

"Figured I might just pile some up in the street and start one," Lucifer said, bringing the axe down on the bag. Hard.

At least the print on Finally just unrepressed enough to be desperate for emotional connection was pretty small just to allow for all the words on that relatively small suitcase.

[betterthanaplan]

Definitely too small for Duke to parse without trying! And he was too distracted by constantly braced for rejection to try right now.

"I have lighter fluid. And I hear the town has an actual firefighter now."

[my_own_advocate]

"Right, so not only will we destroy all of this nonsense, we'll give that poor blighter something to actually do," Lucifer said brightly.

He glanced at the small suitcase.

Just in time for the Deeply insecure about Duke handbag to drop down right on top of it.

He stared at it.

[betterthanaplan]

So did Duke. He pointed at it.

". . . What?"