The Perk, Tuesday morning

[betterthanaplan]

Leaving his boat yesterday had gone well, and Duke was pretty sure he was supposed to teach a class tomorrow, so he took it a step further today and headed into town. He made his way to the Perk, where he could fortify himself with some caffeine and a muffin and try to set up his new phone, since both his old primary phone and the one he'd used in Haven were now toast.

He was trying to resist the urge to try calling Nathan when he noticed he had a few messages.

"He threw it into the sea?"

[open!]

Comments

[betterthanaplan]

"You think I went back there on purpose?" Duke shook his head. "Went to bed first day of vacation, sandwiched between my two favorite people. Woke up alone in a whole other world, all poised to take a crap on me."

[hatesparadise]

Well, considering Duke's contrary nature, the possibility was there.

"How'd you manage to get back?"

[betterthanaplan]

He'd be stupid enough to go back again on purpose, so it wasn't an entirely unwarranted question, yeah.

"Would you believe I got dumped out of a disintegrating magical barn into the duck pond?"

[hatesparadise]

"...sadly, yes." This place had broken him.

[betterthanaplan]

"Well, uh, good. Because that is in fact exactly what happened."

[hatesparadise]

"Your hometown is insane," Danny sighed. And he'd dealt with a killer drone and CIA bullshit on his trip home!

[betterthanaplan]

"And its only decent therapist is dead now," Duke said, much more cavalierly than he actually felt about that. "So they're pretty screwed."

You know, assuming the meteors hadn't already wiped everyone out.

[hatesparadise]

Duke. Duke. You had to know Danny was going to give you an unimpressed look for that one.

[betterthanaplan]

Duked was okay with that. He honestly felt like more people needed to know about poor Claire. He wasn't sure her other patients would ever learn the whole truth.

"She was murdered by a skin stealing serial killer," he said. "Who took her place to learn our secrets."

. . . Yeah, Duke wasn't going to be excited about doing therapy again for a long time.

[hatesparadise]

Danny would eventually deal with two completely ridiculous, murderous shrinks. That didn't stop him!

"I'd ask why they needed your secrets, but that would imply there was some sort of logic to Haven."

[betterthanaplan]

"You remember Audrey?" Duke asked. "Serial killer was her son from a past life's wife. She wanted to know where her husband was and wasn't convinced Audrey couldn't remember."

[hatesparadise]

"Oh, well. Of course." Your town was nuts, Duke.

[betterthanaplan]

The narrative said that like Duke didn't know it.

"Near as I can tell, the real Claire got taken out right around when I got zapped back to 1955." Duke frowned. "Which, now that I think about it, actually might have been when Nathan fathered the serial killer's husband with Audrey's previous life."

[hatesparadise]

"I'm sorry, what?"

[betterthanaplan]

“Man, you ask that like I know. Audrey told Nathan her kid was his right before she went in the barn, and he was in 1955 with me, so far as I can tell while I was getting knocked out and threatened by my own granddad, he was playing historical romance with 1950s Audrey.”

[hatesparadise]

"So, you're living some... supernatural soap opera." Which was his life here too? If you considered it.

[betterthanaplan]

Yeah. And Duke had been cast as the villain.

"Well. I was living alongside one, anyway," Duke said. As though he hadn't been right in the thick of things for most of the 50 days.

[hatesparadise]

Danny hummed like he believed it. "I'd tell you not to go back, but this place seems to pick and choose," he said with a sigh.

[betterthanaplan]

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to have a choice," Duke said. "You know, assuming the meteors haven't wiped it out entirely."

[hatesparadise]

"Meteors?" Wow, Duke. Wow.

[betterthanaplan]

“Trust me,” Duke said. “I know.”

[hatesparadise]

"You are never allowed to comment about my life again," Danny informed him. And yes, that included the many nukes.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke tilted his head, grabbing onto that potential change of subject with all his might. "And what did you and Super-SEAL get up to over your spring vacation, Detective?"

[hatesparadise]

"Went home," Danny replied dryly, giving him a look that implied Duke wasn't nearly as slick as he might think. "Played host to Diego and Annie while Steve had Liam and Verity."

[betterthanaplan]

“Uh huh,” Duke said knowingly. “And what’d you do there?”

He was pretty sure Fandom hadn’t let them go to Hawaii without plank some mishap for them.