The Perk - Monday Morning

[onlyajones]

Jo was back to her normal self today, well the slightly less heavier version of herself anyway.

She normally waited until after classes were over for the week before she let herself indulge in a hot cocoa but after the events of the weekend, she was feeling pretty miserable and sorry for herself so she decided to have one at the start of the week and found a table seat by the window.

She knew she still had a lot to make up for her past behaviour but it seemed like every time she was making progress, something like this happened that made it seem like she wasn’t going to escape from who she had been at Malory Towers.

Her eyes were still red from all the crying she had been doing about it but she’d at least stopped now, she just sipped her cocoa and stared out the window.

[open!]

Comments

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon was here for tea, because this weekend had been awful - well, the last day and change had been - but he was determined to keep powering through things.

Which lasted just until he got his tea and noticed Jo with her red eyes.

Oh.

He dithered for a moment, then decided he could at least try to be supportive, damn it, and came over to her table.

"Good morning, Jo."

[onlyajones]

She hadn’t been paying much attention to who else was in the Perk and she jumped a bit.

“Oh, Mr. Sims…” she stammered, “go-good morning,” and then she started sniffing and she could feel the tears build again to her horror.

She wasn’t about to start crying in front of literature teacher was she? She flushed and took a sip of cocoa to try and stop herself.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon hesitated a moment longer before sitting tentatively next to her and offering her a napkin. "I can go if you like," he offered. "Or I can just...just sit here, if you'd like some company."

[onlyajones]

Jo took the napkin gratefully and tried to discretely dab her eyes to try and stop those tears building again.

“No…no you ca-can stay,” she stammered.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

"Would...would you like to talk about last week's class?" Jon offered quietly. "Or this week's reading? Or, um. The weather, I suppose?" He was bad at this. He was so bad at this. Literally any other adult would be better at this, he was sure. "Or rationing, that's still a thing in your time, isn't it? Or we could just sit."

[onlyajones]

Jo didn’t really mind, she was mostly surprised someone had noticed and was trying.

“I - I read more on satire?” she told him, “it …the assignment made a lot more sense when I went back over it,”

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

"Oh, good!" Jon was genuinely pleased at that; he hadn't expected it. "I'm glad. I'd hate to think that your takeaway from class was that Jonathan Swift was a cannibal," he teased awkwardly.

[onlyajones]

There was the slightest hint of a smile there, "I did wonder if it was just because literature classes were more progressive than they were in my time," she admitted, it had been a rather confusing reading experience with that first read through.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

"They probably are," Jon admitted. "You're likely to hear more about other ethnicities and cultures these days, for one thing. But I promise you I won't advocate cannibalism," he said with a smile.

He wouldn't mention his office's previous occupant.

"I hope you always feel you can ask me questions," he said. "About class or just this time. I'll always do my best to answer."

[onlyajones]

Jo looked a bit stunned at that, it wasn't something she was used to happening she was used to people either brushing her off or just ignoring her.

“It’s …I …I do try … I’m just not very good at …at taking my classes seriously and studying, this is all new …I don’t want to make excuses for it but …my education was very uneven prior to coming here,” she finally admitted, which was partly why this weekend had upset her more than she had anticipated, she took a deep breath, “my last school .. I was always bottom of the form but it was because it was by choice, my dad encouraged it and I listened and …it was just bad …I …” her voice trailed off, it was the most she’d actually ever talked about the circumstances in which she’d eventually been expelled for.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon, if nothing else, was a very good listener.

"There are all sorts of reasons why people do poorly at things," he said. "Whether it's by choice or not." He smiled, thinking of Martin, then shook his head. "I imagine your dad had a reason, even if I can't fathom what it is. I'm curious if you agree with him or if you've changed your mind."

[onlyajones]

Jo hesitated, “I did at first ..” she admitted, “growing up he always told me that nothing else mattered as long as I had a good time, he was always bottom of the form and he made his fortune and … I … listened to him, I mean he’s my dad and I know he does love me, he wants me to be happy, he just … “ she stopped, “I mean, I had a report card sent home once that said I didn’t know the difference between right and wrong and he laughed when he read it, he thought it was just this big joke …”

There was another pause and Jo could feel the tears start building again, “I convinced myself that I could use money to solve all my problems, no wonder the other girls at school didn’t like me … the way I was then... I even ran away and convinced a first former to come with me … it was just …” she looked back up at Jon and there was another moment of hesitation, the tears were more evident now, “I was expelled… " it was the first time she'd really talked about it, other than with her dad when he brought her home after her breakdown in Miss Grayling's office and he had finally understood why his encouragement to let Jo do as she please and not learn there were consequences for her actions was wrong.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon winced and tentatively reached out to pat her shoulder.

"Sometimes even people we love can do things that hurt us," he said carefully. "And, um. Sometimes we do things that are...are spectacularly stupid in hindsight." He sighed. "I was...was quite a...well, I was very unkind to people in the past. It took me a while to figure that out. But, um. That's the first step - figuring out that you ought to change. You can't fix anything until you understand there's a problem."

He grimaced. "I realise that part is really, really unpleasant, for what it's worth."

[onlyajones]

Jo nodded and sniffed, “I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice, “I … I didn’t mean to unload all of this on you… yesterday just made me feel like I haven’t made as much progress as I thought… if I keep changing back into the Jo I was at Malory Towers," because she hadn't liked that day when everyone thought it was their Sweet 16th Party either.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

"That's...It's perfectly all right," Jon said. At least it hadn't been a statement; he might have had to take drastic measures if he'd done that to a student.

Speaking of which, "Don't...it's best if you don't tell me about this weekend," he added as gently but firmly as he could. "As much as I would love to listen, that would end badly. But it was a trick of the island's, and as unpleasant as it was, it doesn't...it doesn't have to mean anything."

He sighed. "It...it could even be a good sign, maybe. It changed you into what you thought a monster was. And if you think that what you used to be was bad, you're unlikely to be like that again, if that makes sense. It means you've changed."

You were only human, Jo; your monstrousness was metaphorical, and therefore optional, unlike his.

[onlyajones]

“I … think so,” Jo said slowly as she considered, “I just … I don’t want to mess up like I did before, I do … I do still like living here,” even though she was still confused by a lot of the 21st century, she did still like living in Fandom all things considered.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

"Me too," Jon admitted. He quirked a smile at her. "Even if it is America. We're surrounded by Americans, if you haven't noticed."

[onlyajones]

Jo did actually laugh at that one, which felt a bit strange after she’d been spending the morning crying and moping.

“There are a lot of them here,” Jo agreed, “I think there’s only one other person I’ve met here who’s from home,” she said.

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

There; mission accomplished.

"I've met Ms Adler," Jon said. "She came along to Boston with us. Unless you've met someone else, that might be it."

[onlyajones]

“Yes I did meet Ms. Adler,” she said with a nod, “she was nice, I met her at the Perk one time,”

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

"She is very nice," Jon agreed. "So, there aren't many of us, but at least we can band together. Though I'm afraid we're sunk if there's another revolution," he added wryly.