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Trooper Station | Saturday

Someone had found a box of old complaints that had either been ignored or never closed properly and now it was up to Diego to clear them out. He was learning a shitload about Fandom history while doing so, and suddenly he was very glad he wasn't here when shit like jello dragons and weird dungeons were around.

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Steve wandered into the office early into the shift looking like he'd bought an entire LL Bean catalog full of clothing: plaid shirt, puffer vest, the whole nine. He was drinking regular coffee, though. He refused to be That Guy with the seasonal drink.

(He was pretty close to being That Guy.)

"Wow, paperwork," he said. "Glad I'm not sticking around long today."

"It's a blast from the past," Diego said, looking up at Steve. "Why are you dressed like a lumberjack?"

"Danny and I are going hiking later," Steve said, "and it's cold and stupid outside."

Tropical flower that he was.

Diego started to laugh. "Are you going to take pictures of the leaves too?"

"Only if they're around cool battlefield statues," Steve said.

Steve killed it at romantic dates, okay.

"Better you than me." Hopefully Annie knew better than to take him leaf peeping. "Some of these old calls are super weird, no way I'm gonna close them out today."

He picked up a random complaint. "In 2013, something named Stiles called the station because a man was hugging him and wouldn't let go?"

"Is that something we actually followed up on?" Steve wondered.

"No, that's why it's in the box," Diego said. "All of this is shit nobody followed up on. Ralph found it hidden under the sink and gave it to me."

"And it's not even Christmas yet," Steve said dryly. "What a gift."

"I'm tempted to put half of these on your desk," Diego warned. "You can follow up on ancient Bee Lady complaints."

"I'm good on bees for a while, brah," Steve said. "Some idiot in Honolulu tried to weaponize bees when we were back there in October."

"That's creative at least?" Look, sometimes you had to appreciate ingenuity.

"Oh, it was very creative," Steve said. "But I'm happier when people aren't trying to kill everyone with bird flu."

Wait. "The bees had bird flu?"

"Right?!" That's just bad writing, Diego.

"You have a weird hometown," Diego said. "And my hometown got crushed by the moon, so I know what I'm talking about."

"Bees I can handle," Steve said. "The moon crushing would take...slightly more resources than I have available to me."

"Oh we just left it behind," he said. "There's really not much you can do in that situation. Armageddon was bullshit."

"But the girl was cute," Steve said, grinning.

"She was pretty hot," Diego agreed. "That makes it worth watching."

"Almost made up for the terrible singing and the, you know, plot," Steve said.

"I used to think the beginning was pretty cool with the mini asteroids and stuff," Diego said. "Now not so much."

"Well, you can fact check it with lived experience," Steve said, "and that sucks."

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