Trooper Station, Monday, February 21, 2022

[grenadesandohana]

Steve, on the phone, was deeply regretting come into the office today.

"Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. I've never really thought about whether I'd rather fight an orangutan with a sword once a year or a chicken every time I enter a vehicle. Does the orangutan have the sword or do I?"

He was probably asking all the wrong questions. The Trooper Station was open! Please don't ask any questions.

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[doctorgingerspice]

“So,” Will started to say as he entered the Trooper station, two coffees in hand (yes, he knew the station had coffee of its own. He was also well-acquainted with how universally terrible police station coffee was). “I’ve been… thinking…” he trailed off, frowning, as he caught the tail end of that phone conversation. Because: what?

[grenadesandohana]

Steve shot him "save me" eyes and mimed banging his head onto the desk.

[doctorgingerspice]

“Really sorry!” Will said, exaggeratedly loud. “But it’s an emergency and I need some help right away!”

It was not and he did not, judging by the fact that he was trying not to laugh. But hopefully whoever was on the other end of the line would let Steve go if they thought it was urgent.

[grenadesandohana]

"I'm so sorry," Steve lied to the woman on the phone, "I must go. I'll think about your question."

He would not.

He hung up immediately and sighed. "Is that coffee for me?"

[doctorgingerspice]

“Nah,” Will lied. “Whasisface over there,” Ralph? Calvin? One of them. “Texted me and asked if I could bring him a coffee.”

[grenadesandohana]

Steve pouted outrageously. "He didn't."

[doctorgingerspice]

“No, you’re right, he didn’t,” Will conceded. That pout was deeply unfair, Steven, and Will was saying that as a ostensibly straight dude. “All yours,” he said, placing the coffee cup down on Steve’s desk.

[grenadesandohana]

He could kill a guy with simple office supplies, but it was the face that made people forget that. "Thank you," he said, beaming. "Would you rather fight an orangutan with a sword once a year or a chicken every time you got into a vehicle?"

[doctorgingerspice]

“Is this an actual dilemma someone is facing?” Will wondered, confused.

[grenadesandohana]

"I think she's lonely," Steve admitted.

[doctorgingerspice]

“I don’t blame her,” Will said sympathetically. “It’s like a ghost town around here.” Why yes this was his first experience with the school basically abandoning the island to go on a trip.

[grenadesandohana]

"Only for this week," Steve assured him, "and then they come back tanned and bragging."

[doctorgingerspice]

“Hmph,” Will scoffed. “My only consolation is I don’t so much tan as immolate, anyway.”

Those years in Sudan had been deeply uncomfortable for many, many reasons, yes. The climate definitely among them.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve laughed. "I've seen many, many tourists in Hawai'i suffer that fate."

[doctorgingerspice]

“I’ll bet,” Will snickered.

[grenadesandohana]

"So sore, so red," Steve lamented.

[doctorgingerspice]

"The curse of the pale Irish complexion," Will replied, equally mournful.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve laughed. "I've avoided the fate by being third generation on the island, I guess."

[doctorgingerspice]

"Oh, is that all it takes?" Will asked drily.

[grenadesandohana]

"It's a long game," Steve said.

[doctorgingerspice]

“Too long for me,” Will decided, shaking his head. “Though, I suppose it is tangentially sort of related to what I came in to talk to you about.”

[grenadesandohana]

"Happy to help but we're definitely getting back to chicken fighting," Steve teased. "What's up?"

[doctorgingerspice]

“The hotel room was fine when I thought my stay here was temporary,” Will told him. “But now- especially with Kol, he needs more space to, you know, be a dog and all that. So I was wondering if you knew who I’d talk to about that?”

No, Will had no idea that Danny was in fact one of those people.

[grenadesandohana]

"Oh, Danny runs one of the apartments," Steve said, "but I don't know if there are any vacancies right now." He pulled up records of the town. "Jonathan Sims runs the other one."

[doctorgingerspice]

"Don't think I've met him," Will mused. Also he was a little bit in Africa this week, so if Will wanted to move ASAP he'd better hope Danny had an open apartment. "But thanks!"

He should probably also get a little better about meeting people and all that if he was staying, yes.

[grenadesandohana]

"You're welcome," Steve said, grinning. "I couch surfed for a bit."

[doctorgingerspice]

Will made a face. "Back in Chicago I was crashing on my brother's couch after Nat kicked me out," he admitted. "Was just starting to look into getting an apartment again when, you know, the whole 'Tommy tried to kill me again' thing happened."

[grenadesandohana]

"Not great," Steve admitted.

[doctorgingerspice]

“What sort of grown-ass adult still has a shitty secondhand couch?” Will bitched.

[grenadesandohana]

"Cops," Steve teased.