Fandom Trooper Station, Wednesday

[hatesparadise]

They'd been out of coffee at home this morning. Even the good Kona stuff that had berm put away for special occasions. But luckily there was a coffee pot at the station.

"The hell do you mean 'we only have decaf'?" he demanded of a deeply unimpressed Ralph.

Well, this was just gonna be an annoying day. Maybe he could convince Steve to grab him something from the coffee shop while he drank his fake coffee.

[open!]

Comments

[grenadesandohana]

"They only have decaf?" Steve repeated, coming in with two coffees. "Good thing I brought fully caffeinated, then."

Spoiler: he had not.

[hatesparadise]

"Thank god, I already have a headache from this," Danny said, gladly abandoning the coffee that Ralph had so lovingly made.

[grenadesandohana]

He was going to be so disappointed.

"You're welcome," Steve said, handing over the cup.

[hatesparadise]

Danny sighed with relief as he took a sip, definitely feeling the caffeine hit.

Spoiler: he did not.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve grinned at him. "Better?"

[hatesparadise]

"Much." Give him an hour and he'd be cranky.

[grenadesandohana]

"Good," Steve said, settling in at his desk. "What are you working on today?"

Please not that weird mooning thing from Monday.

[hatesparadise]

"Some files on my desk about..." Danny frowned as he opened it up. "What the hell?"

[grenadesandohana]

"Oh, is that all the butts?" Steve asked.

[hatesparadise]

"Yes, it's all the butts!" Steve, why was this happening to him? "Did you know about this??"

[grenadesandohana]

"I didn't do it," Steve said, "but I took the call, yeah."

Which was why it was on your desk, Danny. Just...so many butts. One was probably Tino's.

[hatesparadise]

"I can't unsee this, Steven."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve snickered. "The person complaining was named Edgar Butts."

Hi, Steve was twelve.

[hatesparadise]

Danny closed the case file and shoved it at Steve. "Your case."

[grenadesandohana]

"But--" Steve protested, pouting.

[hatesparadise]

"Your case," he repeated.

[grenadesandohana]

"Maybe Diego will want it!"

Nope.

[hatesparadise]

"Oh, ho ho. I'll leave that up to you," Danny replied, pushing the file against Steve's chest.

[grenadesandohana]

"You're so mean to me," Steve decided.

[hatesparadise]

"I'm just keepin' you honest," Danny countered.

[grenadesandohana]

"I'm not doing forensics on ass pictures," Steve declared.

[hatesparadise]

"You might need to," Danny couldn't help but say. Just to mess with him. "How else will you crack the case?"

[grenadesandohana]

"I will not look at any more cracks in this case," Steve snorted.

[hatesparadise]

"That was terrible," Danny replied. "Terrible."

[grenadesandohana]

"You're just mad you didn't get there first," Steve said.

[hatesparadise]

"No." Got it in one, Steve.

[grenadesandohana]

"Yes," Steve said, smirking.

[hatesparadise]

Danny rolled his eyes and went back to his desk for that. "I'm giving you only the dumbest cases from now on."

[grenadesandohana]

"They can't get dumber than this one," Steve proclaimed.

Steve, why do you tempt fate like that?

[hatesparadise]

Which was why Danny was giving him such a look. Oh yeah.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve pointed to the photocopies. "We have a stack of asses that I'm really hoping I don't have to match to perps," he said. "How can it get worse?"

[hatesparadise]

"Raccoons could be involved." THANKS, FANDOM.

[grenadesandohana]

"I think I'd rather look at raccoon asses."

There's a sentence that had hopefully never been uttered before.

[hatesparadise]

"...I'm not sure that's the best alternative," Danny replied slowly.

[grenadesandohana]

"Why not?"

Yes, Danny, explain it to him.

[hatesparadise]

"You just got a rabies vaccine, Steve."

That and they had to work with these raccoons. They had to work with them.

[grenadesandohana]

"So I'm good for a few years!"

Steven.

[hatesparadise]

"How is that what you get out of this??"

[grenadesandohana]

"What was I supposed to get out of it?" Steve demanded.

[hatesparadise]

"No messing with the raccoons!" Not even at their speak-easy.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve sulked. "Take all the fun out of it."

[hatesparadise]

"I'm doing this for your own good."

[grenadesandohana]

"You are not," Steve retorted, sipping from his useless, uncaffeinated coffee.

[hatesparadise]

"I always do!" Ehhhhh. Not always.

[grenadesandohana]

"Like 20 percent of the time," Steve said.

It was higher than that.

[hatesparadise]

Definitely higher than that.

"You're just saying that because I'm disagreeing with you."

[grenadesandohana]

"Not just that," Steve retorted.

[hatesparadise]

"Uh huh."