fandomtownies | Trooper Station, Monday, April 11, 2022

Entry tags:

Trooper Station, Monday, April 11, 2022

Steve came into the station with a befuddled look on his face. On his way in he'd passed a raccoon coming out of the tunnels under the island with a wheelbarrow full of beer bottles.

When he stopped to stare he got an earful of raccoon screeching--something about being a good global citizen and getting back the glass deposit and "mind your business, copper."

So Steve needed all the coffee this morning, and not just because he could actually understand a raccoon.

The Trooper Station was open!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was an equally befuddled Will that eventually made his way to the station, six pack of mysterious beer in hand.

“Your raccoon buddies are up to something,” he declared, placing said six-pack down on Steve’s desk.

"They aren't my friends," Steve replied promptly, "and why do you think they're up to something?"

“Because this was dropped off outside my door this morning,” Will said, gesturing at the six-pack.

"They think you're a day drinker?"

Not the point, Steve.

Will rolled his eyes. “Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s it,” he told Steve, unpacking the bottles so Steve could take a look at all the labels.

Abduction Ale
Out of this World Pilsner
Underground IPA
In The Dark Lager
Light at the end of the Tunnel Pale Ale
The Snake is a Lie Milk Stout

“Do these seem a little. Uh. Unusual to you?” You know, other than the part where they were brewed by raccoons.

"I would definitely not drink the snake one," Steve said, "but yeah, that seems like a really weird...theme...they have going."

“Exactly,” Will nodded. “It’s almost like they’re trying to tell me something?”

"Did they kidnap someone?" Steve asked, tilting his head at the labels. "Or launch them into space? So help me God, if there's another hole--"

"Another hole?" Will asked with a frown. He'd missed that (w)hole... thing.

"Different raccoons but still...raccoons," Steve said. "Made giant holes that half the town got sucked into and I'm honestly feeling crazy just recounting this. I had to threaten the leader with a grenade."

As one does.

"This place is so weird," Will said, shaking his head. "If they kidnapped someone, why are they telling me about it?"

Because at least one of the raccoons was sensible enough to understand that kidnapping a Fandom resident was inherently bad for business, that's why.

"Maybe there's a mole...in the raccoons," Steve said. "I think this conversation is making me dumber."

"Makes about as much sense as anything does around here." Which was to say, not much.

(no subject)

grenadesandohana - 2022-04-12 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, just what they needed. A raccoon proclaiming itself a sovereign citizen.

"So, this is a thing, right?" Danny asked, carrying an empty bottle.

King of the Sewers, Danny. King of the Sewers. They're probably printing their own money.

"The part where the raccoons are making beer?" Steve asked.