Luke's, Thursday

[betterthanaplan]

"What the actual fuck is that?" Duke asked.

"I don't know," Billy said. "All the meat in the cooler turned into it, though."

Ali peered over his shoulder. "It looks . . . evil."

Greg snorted. "Calm your tits, boys. It's scrapple."

"Nope." Duke turned and headed back out of the kitchen. "That one is all yours. I'll just . . . deal with paperwork today."

Today's specials
Scrapple breakfast pizza
Served all day!

Luke's was open.

Comments

[my_own_advocate]

And oh look who was walking into the diner, eyebrows raised.

"Why," Lucifer said slowly, "Is everyone doing terrible things to pizza this week?"

[betterthanaplan]

"Not a fucking clue," Duke said. "Apparently all the meat in the cooler became that scrapple shit, and I slept in instead of going fishing this morning."

[my_own_advocate]

"Hm. Yes. I'd say sorry about last night, but that would be lying," Lucifer said, smirking.

[betterthanaplan]

"Never apologize for what we did last night," Duke said with a grin. "Even when it results in scrapple pizza specials. Some sacrifices are worth making."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer tossed him another cheerfully lecherous smirk. "You do have the strangest employees," he sighed.

[betterthanaplan]

"I know," Duke said with a sigh. "Much like Tiny did with your place, though, they came with the joint."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer shook his head. "I really don't know whether this is better or worse than the pizza beer."

[betterthanaplan]

"Pizza . . . beer."

Duke looked appropriately horrified at the idea.

[my_own_advocate]

"Miss Smith had the gall to ask me if I wanted some."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shuddered sympathetically. "What, is it brewed with tomatoes and . . . oregano? Jesus, how do they get the cheese in it?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Oh, it's worse," Lucifer said, leaning in a bit. "They steep a bloody pizza in the brewpot."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke actually gagged a little at that.

"The things people do to poor, defenseless food."

[my_own_advocate]

"It should be illegal," Lucifer agreed gravely. "Be careful what they do with that scrapple."

[betterthanaplan]

". . . To protect the scrapple, or because scrapple itself is a crime?"

[my_own_advocate]

"Just in case they try to brew something with it."

[betterthanaplan]

"Oh my god. Why would you even speak that into the universe?"

It was too late anyway. There was nothing new under the sun.

[my_own_advocate]

"Clearly my Father has left the door open for all kinds of depravities, including some even I can't embrace," Lucifer said, frowning. "I'm not sure I can imagine any worse than what some human or another has already tried."

[betterthanaplan]

"We are pretty creative as a species," Duke agreed. "Probably best not to try."

[my_own_advocate]

"But let's veer away from monstrosities for a moment," Lucifer said, clearing his throat. "How has your day been?"

[betterthanaplan]

"Monstrosities aside, not bad at all." Duke looped his arm around Lucifer's waist, tugging him towards their usual table. "Yours?"

[my_own_advocate]

And Lucifer leaned into him as they went, perfectly happy to do so. "Putting in some last preparations for next week's opening," he said. "Seems to be going smoothly so far..."