The Devil's Nest, Friday Night

[my_own_advocate]

"Right," Lucifer said, as he stepped one foot into the bar and... stopped in his tracks. "You are taking that down. Right now."

Before him sat not just a palace, or a Taj Mahal, or anything like it. No, Tiny had been left to his devices for nigh on a week, and now there were... arches... of olives. All the way from the entrance to the bar. And that was just the start of it.

"No bar needs an olive labyrinth!"

Or whatever that was meant to be.

[[ open, if full of olives. ]]

Comments

[somethingwithturquoise]

Was Summer bringing her laptop with her to a bar on a Friday night?

Yes. Yes, she was.

"Booze me up, Tiny!" she declared, as she clearly made herself comfortable and settled. "I've got some trolls to slay tonight!"

[my_own_advocate]

"Just-- be careful-- with the olive-- Venus de Milo," Lucifer fussed warned as he slipped between the arches to come find her.

[somethingwithturquoise]

"The what?" asked Summer, who was clearly very distracted with far more important things, but she did spare a look up at the bar and at Tiny, which garnered a very necessary, "What the fuck, Tiny? Who do you think you are? Me?

"Actually, no," she amended, "I would encase that shit in jello like a civilized person."

[my_own_advocate]

"At least the jello would be slightly less likely to collapse at any moment," Lucifer said, as he finally arrived at Summer's side. "Fair warning, there's an olive statue of some kind of elfin man with very bad 80s hair near the toilets."

[somethingwithturquoise]

Summer's eyes reluctantly dragged away from her computer towards the restrooms, and she just shook her head.

"Duly noted," she assured Lucifer, with a bit of a yikes face before proceeding to finally order something with vodka and absolutely no olives, thaaaaaaanks.

"And keep them coming, too," she informed Tiny, and she figured that would be good for him, keep him busy and away from more garnish-related artwork.

[my_own_advocate]

"Thank you," Lucifer said gravely. And then he remembered something. "... what trolls are we slaying?"

[somethingwithturquoise]

How kind of him to deign to remember she'd said words. Truly.

"Annie live viral ragequit being a superhero after she blew up an orgy," Summer informed him, sounding way too happy about it, "and now the internet in her dimension is going fucking bonkers over it and I'm on damage control. Also, I come from a long line of functional alcoholics and mean drunks so I do my best work when I'm mildly buzzed and not on their level by being home alone in my sad apartment with my cat."

[my_own_advocate]

"Right, well, I'm hardly going to not enable that kind of hard work," Lucifer told her. He waved at Tiny to hurry up with her drink. "Right, so who are you tackling first?"

[somethingwithturquoise]

"Well," said Summer proudly, "I've already got a shitton of reddit mods working overtime, and I've ratio'd at least five Homelander worshipping incels into total and complete oblivion. Then there's just a lot of hashtag management, because we're also dealing with a crazed superhero back from the alleged dead and another one missing or dead, because #ThatAintRehab. Trying to debunk Starlight slander before it gains traction....Honestly, I'm all over the place, but I like that, that makes it way more exciting.

[my_own_advocate]

"So which prank memes are we deploying here?" Lucifer inquired.

[somethingwithturquoise]

"My, my, Mr. Morningstar," Summer remarked, sounding absolutely delighted. "Are you offering to help me shitpost?"

[my_own_advocate]

"It's that or confront Tiny's olive obsession," Lucifer said, leaning over to look at her laptop critically. "Come on, then. Let's destroy some cretins."

[somethingwithturquoise]

Summer was just going to side-eye Lucifer for a moment, suddenly far less delighted.

"Anything to save you from Tiny and his olives, I guess," she murmured, as she started to pull up some of the more trendable memes.

Silly her, thinking it was because they were friends, and he wantedto help, and avoiding the olives would bean added bonus, not the main draw....

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer squinted at her. "Are you angry?" he queried, confused.

[somethingwithturquoise]

Summer sighed, took two seconds to think about the day she'd already been having, and figured it just wasn't worth it. "Only at myself," she said, shaking her head.

"Anyway," she continued, "the more boots on the ground on this, the better, so I'll just send you some of this and a few links to a few places in the dimension we're working with, and you can just go apeshit. A lot of them are pretty Seven-specific, too, so don't be surprised if some are fairly incomprehensible. They're good, trust me, and not in a 'weird Gen Z absurdist humor' sort of way, but in a 'weird Annie's universe' sort of way."

[my_own_advocate]

"Do you have some examples of your best burns?" Lucifer asked. "Just to get myself in the right mindset."

He did so love tormenting people. And the internet was perfect for it.

[texted3times]

"What the ever-loving fuck."

Hello to you too, Eric.

[my_own_advocate]

"He needs an intervention," Lucifer said flatly.

[texted3times]

"I refuse to make a sign using cocktail onions."

[my_own_advocate]

"I was thinking we'd just take him out back and threw him into a dumpster for a bit or something."

[texted3times]

"That's much more to the point," Eric agreed.

[my_own_advocate]

"I'll grab him, you get the dumpster?" Lucifer offered.

[texted3times]

"But that's the gross part," Eric complained.

[my_own_advocate]

"Not if you keep it shut," Lucifer sighed. "You are a thousand years old, surely you can move a dumpster hygienically."

[texted3times]

"That's why I have minions."

Eric looked thoughtful. "Can we make Tiny do it?"

[my_own_advocate]

"You want to make Tiny tow the dumpster we're dumping him in?" Lucifer asked.

Beat.

"I like it. It's diabolical."

[texted3times]

"He really should remember who he's working for," Eric said, grinning.

Two assholes.

[my_own_advocate]

"Let's get to it, then," Lucifer said, whipping around. "Tiny!"