Dite's Decadent Delights | Wednesday

[begmetwice]

You know what was pretty much the worst thing that could happen to you, as a sex shop owner?

No, a silicone shortage was a good guess! As was, like, the occasional No Sex Week around here. Both of those would be terrible!

But Irene, who was on her hands and knees and chasing tiny, marble-like orbs around her shop, would like to put 'anal beads that de-stringed themselves during shipping' at the very top of the list.

Dite's is open!

[Steven's visit is totally okay for broadcast but what he was shopping for is not!]

Comments

[hasaknightjob]

Steven wasn't sure what he thought he would see when he popped round to Irene's shop. Irene on her hands and knees was not on the list though. Which distracted Steven out of his immediate nerves about stopping by.

"Oh dear. Are you all right? Do you need help with something?"

[begmetwice]

"'lo, Steven," Irene replied, straightening up from where she was peering under a shelving unit, and moving to rock back onto her heels so she could stand. "I'm perfectly fine, love, no need to worry -- just...anal beads all over."

A very normal problem.

"I've gotten a lot of them, but mind your step," she added. Not that Steven seemed especially litigious, but she certainly didn't need anyone falling and suing her.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven would never sue Irene! Steven would absolutely accidentally slip on a bead and fall though, so he walked carefully as he came inside.

"Right. Yes. Hello. It's - is it all right it's me? Not Marc?"

After all Marc was typically the one who visited Irene these days. Steven wouldn't blame Irene if she was disappointed.

[begmetwice]

They were in America now, Steven! Potential lawsuits lurked around every corner!

"Oh, well, now that you've drawn my attention to it -- I will be sad to not have to draw out conversation from you like I'm wringing out a tea towel, tragedy, but we'll all get through it," she replied, rolling her eyes and clutching a hand to her breast dramatically, in the hopes that Steven would, in fact, understand that she was joking if she put enough pantomime into it.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven briefly thought she meant him. But then he realized she was talking about Marc and, well, where was the lie? As such, Steven chuckled.

"Right, well, no tea towels here," Steven said. "Here to chat with you myself, actually. If you've a moment?"

[begmetwice]

"Of course," Irene assured him, dusting off her stockinged knees and gracing him with a bright smile. "What can I help with, Steven?"

[hasaknightjob]

"Well, it's, er, I'm in need of your expertise, actually," Steven said. He lowered his voice as though someone might overhear, even though as far as he could tell they were alone at the moment.

[begmetwice]

"Shall I get the rum?" Irene offered, equally conspiratorial.

Even if you couldn't see the squirrels, they were always there.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven thought about it, then nodded. "Best safe than sorry, I think."

[begmetwice]

Irene moved over to the cash wrap, snagging a bottle of rum and a set of teeny-tiny communion cups to pour into. "Nosy little fucks," she offered, waving a cup at Steven before filling it and setting it by the shop entrance. "I'd probably go out of business if I didn't bribe the squirrels regularly."

[hasaknightjob]

"Marc keeps some back at the flat just in case," Steven said. He then hoped he wasn't giving Irene the wrong impression about why he'd asked. "Not - there's no shame or anything about being here. More wanting privacy about what I'm buying is all. If you've something that can help me."

[begmetwice]

"Well, I'm glad we're skipping the shame," Irene offered lightly as she placed a few more little cups of rum near the door. "Though plenty of people do come in with their shoulders about their ears until I get the rum out, and then we have to talk about that. But you, I presume, don't want our friend Detective Watts spoiling a surprise via radio, hmm?"

Just a hunch.

[hasaknightjob]

"That's the one," Steven said, pointing at Irene to show she got it. "I mean, it may never come up for him to need to find out? But best be prepared, right?"

Once again Steven was forgetting to provide context.

[begmetwice]

"It is always best to be prepared, Steven," Irene agreed with feeling and a careful control of her gaze, which of course wanted to flit to any number of products.

Honestly, that should be her motto, not the silly Boy Scouts'.

[hasaknightjob]

"Right," Steven said. "So remember couple weeks ago? When people woke up different shapes?" Which of course Irene did since she'd been so kind and helped Llewellyn out with clothing (to say nothing of waking up a different shape herself).

"Well see, thing is," Steven continued, "I figure that might happen again, yeah? Things on this island do. And - and if it does happen... I'd like to have something handy to make sure someone shaped like you usually are has a nice time?"

Not that Steven had gotten bad reviews during the weekend in question, but he worried.

[begmetwice]

"Something specifically for the more -- vulvishly inclined?" Irene asked, lifting one brow delicately. "Well, aren't you the thoughtful one. Though you might not get to use it for awhile, if you want something specifically for a ciswoman's anatomy -- it'd been ages since I turned into a gent, before this last time. At least a year and some change."

[hasaknightjob]

"That's it exactly," Steven said, thrilled that Irene understood it. "And yeah, maybe. But... they don't have an expiration date, do they? Could keep it in a drawer somewhere, right?"

Steven was genuinely asking. He had zero experience in these matters. For all he knew they went bad as quickly as an avocado.

[begmetwice]

"You'll want to mind any corroded batteries," Irene cautioned, thinking about it, "but generally most things keep."

A pause, and then an emphatic, "Not edible knickers."

Learned that one the hard way.

[hasaknightjob]

"Er, yeah, not my preference if I'm honest," Steven said. Not that he had any idea what edible knickers would taste like, but he felt safe in guessing he wouldn't care to eat clothing as a rule.

(Were edible knickers even vegan?)

"Good to know about the batteries though," Steven said. "Never would've thought of that. Would... do they plug in? Is that better?"

[begmetwice]

"Plenty plug in," Irene assured him. "Like the charger for your mobile, really. But then that requires a bit of foresight, in terms of needing to charge it up when the occasion calls for it, since this is meant to be a surprise -- but that just calls for a bit of discretion. And then of course there's plenty of things that don't need kind of power at all, though I'm presuming that we are looking for things that give an effect more...."

She waggled her fingers in the air, a touch suggestive. "Unattainable by human means?"

[hasaknightjob]

"Not full surprise," Steven said. "I will tell him. Just - not the sort of thing your beau should find out from radio, is it? Definitely me telling him and not the squirrels."

As for Irene's gesture, Steven looked very sheepish. And not a little lost. "Er - maybe? I don't - " here he spoke softer again " - I don't have much experience with this, you see. Don't know about options. Only thing I've ever bought in a place like this was bed restraints."

And those had definitely not been for fun.

[begmetwice]

Irene considered that information -- not surprising, considering she knew Steven sleepwalked -- and then tentatively ventured, "May I ask you something fairly personal, Steven?"

Just so she'd know how to proceed.

[hasaknightjob]

"Yeah, all right," Steven said. He gave a nervous smile. "If you can't talk personal here, where can you, yeah?"

A doctor's office, maybe?

[begmetwice]

Irene stepped a little closer, just to be extra discreet, and gently asked, "Have you been with a woman before?"

She knew Detective Watts was entirely inclined towards his own sex, but she actually had never confirmed with Steven what his preferences might be.

[hasaknightjob]

"Not sure what all I've done," Steven admitted, glad that it was Irene who could be trusted with this kind of information. Not just about his personal life, but his life. "I have memories but they're a jumble and sometimes... I don't know if they - if I can rely on them."

[begmetwice]

"Got it," Irene replied, understanding instantly, and she reached out to put a reassuring hand on Steven's arm. "Not to fret, love. I was just making some presumptions. But you're attracted to women, yeah? Just as a general rule, no one specifically."

It would also affect her recommendations how much he'd be into various acts with a transformed Watts, versus just being there for his partner's pleasure in a new body.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven relaxed, grateful that Irene understood. "Yes. I mean you're lovely, for example. And there was, erm, a bit of confusion with Layla at first."

It was really good that Steven had gotten out of that phase of falling for people who were already in relationships.

[begmetwice]

"I am lovely," Irene agreed easily. "Layla like Marc's Layla? I imagine that could be -- complicated."

Oooooooh that seemed like something to ask Marc about, actually, at a later date.

[hasaknightjob]

"Same one, yeah," Steven said. "I mean she's beautiful and smart and kind..."

You couldn't blame Steven for having a crush at first, could you?

[begmetwice]

"Seems like she might have been around quite a bit, as well," Irene observed lightly.

Yeah, she could see how this might happen. It honestly butted right up against her biggest (and least of her business) concern regarding Steven's relationship with Watts.

[hasaknightjob]

"Not as much," Steven said. "Marc was already trying to end their relationship, you see. She was wasn't best pleased I can tell you. We only spent time together trying to stop Ammit. Then she moved back to Cairo and Marc and me moved here."

[begmetwice]

"Bit weird for Marc, I'd imagine," Irene offered sympathetically.

Sympathetic to Marc, really, but it was also probably strange for Steven to have a crush on Marc's longterm partner.

[hasaknightjob]

"Weird all around, really," Steven said. "Layla and me are just friends now. Same with her and Marc. He still fancies her though."

That wasn't breaking any confidentiality to share. Anybody who saw Marc talk about Layla for even a moment could tell he still carried a torch.

[begmetwice]

"Obviously," Irene assured him, since she did, indeed, have eyes. "But you -- no ladies in your past other than Layla?"

A beat, a knowing look, and, "And maybe a transformed detective a couple weeks back?"

[hasaknightjob]

Steven shrugged. A blush colored his cheeks, but more because of the admission about his memory than the topic of what was remembered. "I - it's confusing. I wouldn't call myself an expert. Put it that way."

He could, of course, tap into Marc's skills and knowledge of the topic same as he did when fighting. But for a multitude of reasons he would rather not.

[begmetwice]

And see, again, that was exactly the sort of thing that made Irene wonder and -- not fret, exactly, but be concerned, that he could do that.

"Understood. Then -- all right, let's see about getting you something to play with for next time someone wakes up needing a different set of clothes," she replied, flashing him a smile. "And nothing in the interim? I've plenty of things for your existing anatomy, you know."

[hasaknightjob]

"Not right now," Steven said, smiling to show the offer was appreciated. "But cheers. Appreciate the help."