fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary; Thursday [04/27].

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Turtle & Canary; Thursday [04/27].

Shunsui had, indeed, turned back into a sloth, and he and his sloth bestie had gotten some new friends into the store, with a variety of wereraccoons and werebadgers joining in the chaos and havoc that had (slowly) come to rule Turtle & Canary. At the current moment, they had all joined forces to swarm the Squsihy Machine and, after a good deal of effort and tries, finally managed to knock it over to the floor and then celebrated the fall of their ultimate prey by trying to tear into all its tubes and wires and parts. A duo of werearmadillos was making an impressive mess out of the melons over in the fruit department, and, with the Squishy Machine now toppled, the collective swarm turned their attention to their final boss:

The cheese panda. Wielding a cutting board and a cheese slicer and prepared to defend his cheese with every thing he had. He was big, but they were also bigger and they were many, and they weren't going down without a fight.

But neither was he.

Turtle & Canary was open....for mayhem!

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With some idea of the chaos that the store had become in her absence since yesterday and having to fend off a more than a few weresquirrels en route (was one of them Leroy? Summer did not stick around long enough after stun-shotting him to see), Summer actually lead Stark around to the back and up to the roof, so that they could slip in from the ceiling, which would hopefully be a less volatile position than coming in through the front door. That dropped them into the back room, and Summer paused for a moment as she skirted around the pallet of mac and cheese and leaned in close to the door, just in time to hear the fall and the celebration of the topped Squishy Machine.

"Goddammit," she murmured under her breath, "I am so glad we have a good insurance policy."

"That doesn't sound good," Stark muttered. His adorable little gun was in his hand, of course.

"Please be careful."

So cute.

"It doesn't sound good at all," Summer, who was very much skipping right over the be careful part, agreed, drawing in a bolstering breath and then letting it out in a sigh, before she nodded to Stark to let him know it was go time, and then cautiously, carefully, reaching up to open the door and crawl forward a little to peer around at the scene.

Most of the activity seemed to be going on around the Squishy Machine. She could sort of see a clear path from here to the counter where display of canned corn, miraculously, seemed relatively untouched, and one of the shelves that had been pushed over would add a little extra coverage, too, so Summer, much larger and only slightly more adorable because it was detailed in pink, gun on the ready, started to slowly creep out of the back room along the way to the counter, her eyes locked in on the swarm of werebeasties doing their best to tear into the Squishy Machine, motioning for Stark to follow.

Stark had a perfectly respectable gun!

Stark was following, but not too closely, and trying to minimize the amount of space on his blind side.

"Oh frell," he breathed out because what else did you say when confronted with such a sight?

"Do you have enough tranquilizers for that?"

Summer peeked around the stack of cans to try and do a body count, made particularly difficult with the flying machinery parts and Shunsui's stupid kimono.

"No," she admitted, with a frown. "So we might need to get a little...strategic. Maybe if we can figure out how to trap some of them..."

From this spot, she could see the door to the office, and what had happened to it.

"...somewhere more effective than the office, apparently."

At least the kimono made Shunsui easy to identity?

"They don't seem to want to be trapped," Stark pointed out. "Maybe it's best to just... go? Or we can shoot and hope for the best?"

Maybe call for backup?

Use that portal gun to zap them into the cells at the trooper station?

Making the troopers deal with these werebutts did appeal to Summer on a very deep level, it was true.

"Do you see Apu anywhere?" Summer wondered, looking around for other good hiding spots. "We should probably--"

She stopped dead, blinking, as one of the raccoons looked up and toward the stack of cans.

"Fuck!" Summer pulled back. "I think they spotted us."

Everyone at the trooper station always seemed so bored!

"Why are there raccoons?" Stark said with a very heavy sigh. Probably one that was a bit too loud.

"Maybe we should just... go. And let them be?"

Haha. Like the werebeasts were going to allow that when they could start growling and advancing instead.

Summer sent Stark a withering look at that suggestion, although honestly? Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea after all. Now that she'd gotten a look at the place, how much worse could it get? They could just leave and wait for this to blow over, and if they lost Shunsui as a casualty, then, hey, maybe could own the store officially again, and the world would be a much better--

"Stark! Move!"

Did she warn him, with enough time, as one of those giant raccoons went leaping into the stack of cans to have them come crashing down? She didn't know, focusing on rolling back toward the counter to get herself out of the way and coming out of it with a clean shot of a tranq right into where the raccoon had landed among the now dented and rolling cans.

Well, Stark almost got out of the way in time. Almost.

Enough that he only let out an "ow!" and not a real scream and turned to look down at his right leg...

And when he looked back up he wasn't quite himself.

He was going to be so upset later to have turned into a wereraccoon. Later. Right now he was snarling and moving toward Summer.

"Goddammit, Stark!" Summer said, while sending a fist (her poor, poor knuckles after these last few days, but thank god for all that weight lifting!) into the face of the much slower weresloth that came....drifting?...after the raccoon that got him. "We haven't even been here for five minutes!"

She knew she should have done this on her own! But it was too fucking late now, and she wasn't going to just sit there and be fodder for the masses, so with another tumble back, she hurried to her feet, and turned to sprint the rest of the way toward the counter to launch herself over it, taking a second to pop back up long enough to send another tranq flying toward the Stark raccoon.

It wasn't like Stark had turned into giant snarly raccoon on purpose, Summer! He certainly wouldn't have tried to attack her on purpose!

There was going to be so much glowy guilt after this. So much.

Raccoon!Stark growled and swiped at the air but that didn't stop the tranq dart and then there was suddenly a much less fuzzy and angry Stark in a heap on the floor.

Summer sighed and shook her head. "Well, at least now we know that works," she murmured, and then set her next sights on aiming the next tranq at the convenient target of a bright, flowery pink kimono. A second later, she ducked, as another wereraccoon went flying toward her, and skirted around the counter with her back to it as she tried to make her way back over to where Stark was, trying to figure out what the fuck she was going to do with two unconscious assholes that she had a good feeling would turn back into their respective little beasties when they came two.

Three, if she could figure out which one Apu had turned into.

"A little help here?" she called out to the cheese panda, although, to be fair, he sort of had his paws full, too, with the swarms of armadillos that had apparently lost interest in melon smashing.

"I swear to fucking go--" But the murmured complained cut off with a scream as she found herself with a facefull of sloth, barely managing to push it back before it really got to her, sending out a kick as she fell back on her butt. She scrambled away for a few feet before pushing herself up and running with a charging kick into the sloth in a way that made her really want to invest in some good steel toe boots. But she had their attention, and they were definitely outnumbered now, and she spit out another curse as she hopped over Stark's prone body and headed back toward the store room door.

"Come on!" she shouted to the cheese panda. "We're going to have to cut our losses and deal with this when we figure it out!"

Summer didn't have to tell the cheese panda twice, who came tearing through across the store after her. She held open the door for him, gesturing to usher him through, but at that last moment, he turned back, just in time to see the wereraccoons swarming all over his cheese section and squshing through the brie, shredding the parmesan, wrecking the ricotta, all with wild abandon and gleeful chitters. And it took everything Summer had to pull him back through the door as he tried to charge forward in a rage, and, once the door was slammed behind her and the pallet of cases of macaroni and cheese pushed forward to block the door did the cheese panda drop down and cover his face with his paws as he sobs for the loss of his precious cheese.

Oh, these werebeasties had messed with the wrong panda now!

So the thing about aliens is they have alien metabolisms even when briefly turned into wereraccoons. And so maybe tranquilizers aren't quite as long lasting as they ought to be. Especially if an intrepid group of actual raccoons wearing foil half-masks came into the store and headed for the Shiny Dude lying on the floor and waited not terribly patiently for him to wake up.

Tiny raccoon cultists waking up an alien who would then turn into an angry wereraccoon could only end well, right? There was certainly no danger here!

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Turtle & Canary; Thursday [04/27].

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