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Trooper Station | Tuesday

It seemed like clean up from the weekend had already been taken care of (thanks, Steve), so all Diego had to do at work today was catch up on the calls that were missed from the weekend when troopers and the like had been busy being badgers or whatever.

Turned out there were a lot of animal attack calls that he guessed he didn't need to follow up on anymore.

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Annie swung by after her run, which had really kind of taken it the hell out of her -- but one of the nicest things about being pregnant was the free license to take as many naps as she wanted without judgement, so that was gonna be her next stop.

But first: "Are you stuck doing, like, a bunch of warthog paperwork or whatever?" she asked in sympathetic greeting when she wandered into the trooper station and immediately headed for her usual seat by Diego's desk.

"Mostly me ignoring a bunch of warthog paperwork." He figured it was not a problem anymore. "How was the run? Did the kids protest?"

"Not too much," Annie assured him, taking slightly more care with sitting down than she might have a few months ago. Her bump was prominent now -- which made sense, since the kids were the size of lemons this week, apparently -- but she was still a ways off from the 'sitting and standing is a whole production' stage of things. "Mostly they're just slowing me down and really making me miss caffeine."

At least it was a good kind of exhaustion? Big improvement over the, like, world-is-in-peril exhaustion they were both used to.

"Man, but imagine how good that first cup of coffee is going to be after the kids are born," Diego said. "You should make it an event. Find the fanciest coffee in the state for your first one."

"I think I still kind of need to be careful for a little bit once they're here," Annie pointed out thoughtfully. (She was also, maybe, being a little abundantly cautious, and her resolve might weaken regarding a small cup the next time her doctor reminded her she could indulge.) "But you know what, babe -- that's gonna be right at the height of PSL season, so good thinking."

And look at that, visible perking-up at the thought of both her beloved fancy, seasonal treats...and maybe also a little at the idea of fall itself, and the light at the end of this tunnel. (She wasn't quite sick of being pregnant yet, so much as she was -- anxious and eager to meet her kids. And maybe already a little tired of being tired, but she knew she had a ways to go, too.)

"And that means peppermint mocha, the superior drink, is right after." He liked drinks that caffeinated you and freshened your breath.

"Honestly, we're looking at early November? Both are on the table by then," Annie replied happily, leaning back in her chair with a sigh. "I could alternate between pumpkin and peppermint."

Kind of gross to put it like that.

(Or was it? That combination kind of appealed to Annie at the moment.)

"Like alternate sips or different drinks on different days?" Because he did not find peppermint-pumpkin appealing.

Annie just mimed double-fisting drinks, raising her brows like it she thought Diego should get on board with this awesome plan.

Really, the chocolate + pumpkin was what sounded awesome; the mint was just kind of incidental and didn't bother her.

Diego made a gagging noise. "Oh god, no, gross."

"Don't knock it 'til you try it!"

Annie Hargreeves: person who had not tried this combination anywhere but in her pregnant mind.

"I will absolutely knock it," Diego said. "I knock plenty of things before I tried it."

See: Knitting, tap dancing, escargot, amongst other things.

Annie harbored a secret hope that she could someday get him into tap shoes. Maybe!

"I think it sounds great," Annie told him, at least half just to be contrary about it at this point. "But I think most things sound great with chocolate right now. And like, nutmeg. It's bullshit we don't do nutmeg outside of fall."

Hey, Annie, pop quiz: identify the taste of nutmeg without cinnamon and its other friends around.

"Do you think you're going to be arrested if you use nutmeg in May?" Diego asked.

"I mean, I don't know, you're the cop," Annie pointed out with a lift of her eyebrows. "You gonna haul me in and interrogate me for using fall stuff out of season?"

More importantly, she did not know whether the Perk even kept all that stuff in stock before, like, September. (Another reason Jitter Bean was superior, probably.)

Diego pretended to think about it for a moment. "No, no I won't. I don't arrest pregnant ladies."

"That," Annie decided, "is dangerous knowledge. Is that just like, a Diego rule, or is it official policy?"

Let the pregnant crime spree commence!

"Oh these assholes would totally arrest a pregnant lady," Diego said, gesturing to the troopers. "They take their jobs very seriously."

...right, sure.

"I have noticed that about them," Annie agreed with a nod and a glance to the troopers, tossing off a little salute to them. "But you know, that just makes me think I'm not playing the pregnancy pity card nearly enough. I bet I could, like, at least get out of a parking ticket with the Baltimore PD if I had to."

What with all that...driving of Diego's giant old car that she did, for sure.

"I'll be honest that would not be the city I'd try that in." Though Annie was a pretty white lady, so likely it would go over better than if Diego did it.

"You might be able to get some free food out of the bakeries around here though."

"But is it gonna just be weird reject food?" asked the woman who had, just moments ago, been down for mint and pumpkin together. "I don't want it if that's the case."

"You won't know if it's reject food until you try," Diego said. "But I agree if it is weird reject food, don't accept it."

"I should probably wait and play that when stuff looks really good," Annie decided strategically. (They had literal millions of dollars but sure, Annie, plan out your free food scam.) "Which, again, is gonna coincide with when I'm really big, too."

All the free pumpkin-shaped cookies she wanted, maybe!

It was bold of Annie to assume she'd want to physically go to bakeries at that point, but Diego knew better than to bring that up.

"Maybe we can hit up the ice cream place in the summer then," he said. "You know, when it feels like summer."

It had not been ice cream weather lately.

Well, maybe Diego could go begging on her behalf then. He could use a picture of his very pregnant wife to help! Begging via proxy.

"You know it's supposed to snow in the Midwest today?" Annie replied, casting a hand towards a window disparagingly, like Diego maybe was unaware of how incredibly unfair this May weather was.

"Gross." He didn't want to live in the Midwest on a good day but now there was a good reason to not want to live there. "I'm sure your mom is thrilled."

"Yeah, but she also made sure to tell me that global warming isn't part of God's plan, so it's not that," Annie told him with a sarcastic little nod. "But yeah, maybe ice cream when it's not, like, snowing in any part of the country. Except, like, Alaska."

It always snowed in Alaska, right? Year-round?

"Sounds like a plan," he said, very proud of the way he held back from commenting on Donna's opinion on global warming. "I'm very excited to be your wingman during this pregnancy, I didn't realize there would be so many snacks involved."

"The snacks are your payment for putting up with the rest of it," Annie told him affectionately.

The hair-holding. The way a commercial had brought her to tears last night. The giant body pillow she'd be bringing into their bed eventually.

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Trooper Station | Tuesday

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