Town Hall, Friday

[weirderthanthou]

Why is it that the school does something and I get all the paperwork?

It had been a fun couple of weeks, that was for sure. Building permits, at least two notifications of strange-things-in-the-attic, and a whole folder of forms specifically about making sure the island government could not be litigated if college students (apparently a multiversally acknowledge seperate group of sentient beings all together) got into some kind of trouble with man-eating goo (form 23b), alternative universes (forms 3c and 3d) or clowns (forms 55a through 55f). It was enough to drive anyone insane.

How did I wind up choosing to be a civil servant, again?

Oh, right.

I picked up a gun.

She'd be in the office all day, hunkered over the paperwork, while Nina-the-assistant ran past with the occasional coffee refill.

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Comments

[hasaknightjob]

Steven was still convinced that you couldn't just have a building on the island, let alone run it as a boarding house without telling someone in authority about it. Granted, as head of the police Llewellyn did count as an authority and obviously he was fully aware. But still. It seemed like the sort of thing you needed to tell someone who kept records in some kind of official capacity.

Hence why Steven decided to go to the Town Hall that morning and look for someone who appeared to be in charge. "Hello? I've a question about, er, real estate? I suppose?"

[weirderthanthou]

Jesse glanced up from her stack of paperwork with a deep sigh. "Construction in the Warehouse District is almost done, I promise."

[hasaknightjob]

"That's good to hear," Steven said, happy for her. "But this is something different. A new building on the island. It arrived about a week ago?"

[weirderthanthou]

Oh. Right?

Jesse blinked at him, and then turned back to her stacks of paper, and... moved a few aside, picked up a stack and put it on the other side of her desk, and-- ah, there.

She held up the form. It had a little picture of the hermit shack at the top left. "This one?"

[hasaknightjob]

"That's what it used to look like, yeah," Steven said. He quickly patted himself down for his mobile and pulled up the picture of the exterior that he'd sent to Illyana the other day. He turned his phone around so Jesse could see the two story Tudor-esque structure. "It looks like that now. It's over near the lighthouse? Going by Midnight Manor. Well, Midnight Manor Boarding House. Because that's what we're trying to make it. A boarding house."

Steven then realized that once again he'd come at details in the wrong order. "I'm Steven, by the way. With a V."

[weirderthanthou]

Jesse, who at least tried to read all the incoming paperwork about new residents, made a wry little noise. Not quite a chuckle, more of a second cousin of one. "I know who you are, Steven," she said. "I'm the mayor."

Ugh, when did saying that start sounding like it has capital letters? I'm the Director. I'm the Mayor. I'm a weirdo with an extra-dimensional resonance in her head.

"So... boarding house, huh? How does that work?"

[hasaknightjob]

"Nice to meet you," Steven said with a smile. She didn't seem upset about the idea of a boarding house so he happily went into the explanation. "Sort of a step up from a dormitory? Everyone there has their own room and bath, but it's shared facilities for the kitchen, living room, and so on. I could show you the floor plans if you'd like?"

[weirderthanthou]

This guy looks like he's ready to whip out a Pinterest board.

"No, I... don't... really know anything about architecture," Jesse said. She put the sheet of paper down and patted it. "Is this thing going to behave?"

[hasaknightjob]

"Oh yes!" Steven was thrilled that that was the question she was asking. It saved on having to explain the whole story. "It's been very good. It wants to be a home, you see. So me and Marc and Ll - er, Detective Watts will be living on one side, and the other will be the boarding house. That way it's more likely that there's someone about and it won't be lonely."

[weirderthanthou]

On a spectrum of Benicoff TV to killer fridge, that wasn't too bad, Jesse decided. "All right," she said easily. "I have to warn you, though. There's paperwork."

[hasaknightjob]

Steven let out a breath of relief. He started patting himself down for his glasses. "Oh good. I thought there might be. Seemed a bit odd to sort of declare a boarding house. Especially when the house itself is sort of a new resident? More than happy to make it as official as you like. Please."

[weirderthanthou]

"Oh it's definitely 'paperwork, plural'."

But at least it was paperwork she didn't have to do. Jesse reached down into a drawer and flicked through a few sheets. "So here's the inanimate sentient residency form," she said, putting it down. "If your house can sign anything, we'll need its signature. If not, you can sign for it after you fill in..."

She put down another sheet of paper. "The 'guardianship of an inanimate sentient' form." Beat. "We really are going to need it to drop a brick or something on the dotted line for that one."

[hasaknightjob]

"Language isn't really its strong suit I'm afraid," Steven said. He put his glasses on and started to skim through the forms in case any questions leapt out at him. "At least, not human language. Might be able to get it to make a mark if I'm able to take this back to it? Could get it all filled out and drop the papers back here later today?"

[weirderthanthou]

"That'd be a start," Jesse agreed. "I mean, literally a start. Once you get that form, there's the one for 'using an inanimate sentient as a residence' and, optionally, a 'Place of Power registry form'."

Though that was more of a 'Federal Bureau of Control' form and less of a Fandom form.

[hasaknightjob]

"Do I have to get its... " Steven wondered how to put it. "Brick? Before I can fill out the others? Or can they all be done in one go?"

[weirderthanthou]

"Brick first," Jesse said. "Inanimate sentients should have their agency respected, too."

[hasaknightjob]

"No, no, absolutely agreed," Steven said. Again he was happy to find someone who understood this. Which went to show the strange turn his life had taken but honestly it was rather comforting. "Does it have to be a brick? Only it's made itself more of a wood and brass sort of thing. Anything there work as long as it's, well, it?"

[weirderthanthou]

"I just need some kind of signature that you can prove is from your house," Jesse said, with a little shrug. "Something that can act as a fingerprint."

[hasaknightjob]

"All right, excellent," Steven said. "Trying to respect it as it's finding its new identity, you know? Calling it by its chosen name and all that."

As Steven said that, he realized a potential issue with all of the very legal paperwork in front of him.

"Er - for the person in charge," Steven said, hesitantly. "It may - the name on that might be Marc Spector, I think. Instead of mine. That - so you aren't surprised when you see it, is all."

[weirderthanthou]

"That's your twin, right?"

Look, there was only a limited amount of knowledge that could be gleaned from radio and official paperwork.

[hasaknightjob]

"Sort of, yeah," Steven said. He cleared his throat. "We, er, share the body. This body, I mean."

[weirderthanthou]

"Huh," Jesse said. "Well, I guess that makes long trips less boring and lonely."

[hasaknightjob]

"We do always have each other, that's true," Steven said. He held on to the paperwork more tightly. "Anyway, he, er, he usually does this. The legal documents. So - so it'll be him on there."

[weirderthanthou]

"I'll just make a note of that," Jesse said, scribbling something down to the tune of 'Marc Spector = Steven Grant'. "Anything else I need to know?"

[hasaknightjob]

Steven thought about it. "Er - we're ready for guests anytime? If you know anyone who's looking. Spread the word and all that?"

[weirderthanthou]

"I may have to be a bit diplomatic about that," Jesse pointed out. "It is a sentient house with a rap sheet."

[hasaknightjob]

"No, no, understood," Steven said. "We'll be explaining that to people. It's important to find people who respect what's going on and want to be there."

[weirderthanthou]

"So it's probably better for you to approach people personally on a case by case basis," Jesse explained. Gently? Was that gentle? "So you can gauge whether they'd be a good fit, and they can get the full details."

[hasaknightjob]

"That'll be Marc," Steven assured her. "He wants to be the one interviewing people if they're interested. Won't be a matter of just letting anyone walk in. Still. Does help to get the word out. Can't exactly accost people in the street and ask if they're looking for a home. Probably get arrested doing that, if I wasn't dating the man in charge of the Trooper Station."

[weirderthanthou]

Jesse cleared her throat. So much for diplomatic.

"Steven, if we do that, and anything goes wrong, the island is going to get sued into oblivion."

[hasaknightjob]

"Do what?" Steven asked, because he felt he'd lost the conversation somewhere. "Accost people in the street? But that isn't what we're doing. I did just say we're not doing that, didn't I?"

[weirderthanthou]

"If my office 'spreads the word'," Jesse said, "That makes us liable for anything the house does."

She patted the stack of papers she'd been working on before Steven entered. "You don't want to know how much paperwork is involved with keeping us out of the courts as it is."

[hasaknightjob]

"Ohhh," Steven said as it clicked for him. "Sorry. I see it now. I wasn't thinking of you that way, you see. More like if you bumped into someone at the shop and they mentioned they were in the market. No, no, nothing official. Wasn't looking for that."

There'd probably be too much paperwork for that kind of advertising for a start.

[weirderthanthou]

Talk to strangers on the street? I must be faking sociable better than usual.

"But I'm going to make sure no one takes down any posters or flyers you might spread around," Jesse said, sitting back. Phew. "And I'll help whatever other way I can."

[hasaknightjob]

"That is appreciated," Steven said. "Thank you. And for being so helpful. It's nice having someone who understands about all this. I'd no idea what we were meant to do to be official. Only that it seemed right that there be something. I'll get on this paperwork straight away. Drop it off later today so I can fill out the rest."

[weirderthanthou]

"Wouldn't be the first sentient building I deal with," Jesse said wrily. She tilted her head. "Speaking of which, it wouldn't happen to be related to the Oldest House, would it?"

[hasaknightjob]

"It isn't?" Steven asked, looking interested. "Er, I mean you've dealt with sentient buildings before? But no, no relation as far as I'm aware. Ours is a House of Shadows. Though it is very old if that helps? Thousands of years."