fandomtownies | Long John Silver's; Tuesday [10/24].

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Long John Silver's; Tuesday [10/24].

Ignis was late for work that day, but not for anything remotely as fun or enjoyable as the last time he'd been late. No, he was late because there was a funny thing about what happened when someone relied almost entirely on mental maps and muscle memory and spatial familiarity to get around and then everything changed. It became difficult to find his way around. And it certainly didn't help that Luke's appeared to have changed that day, as well.

"What do you mean, no specials, that's not how we do things here? What's the whole point?"

"Well, we do have the $10 Shrimp Share..."

"The..." Ignis needed a moment, but, in that moment, someone handed him a broom and chirped out, "If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean!"

"I--"

It took a lot to render Ignis Scientia truly speechless, but, in that moment, that was indeed what he was. And they hadn't even trained him on how to do the 'cooking' yet! If anyone sent back their food, surely, it was due to being too salty from th excess of tears being wept into it, as Ignis tried to get away with trying to make something decent out of these new conditions. Couldn't they have at least become a Crow's Nest, if they were going to franchise into something like this? Maybe he could still manage to figure out a way to make a good recreation of Kenny's Original Recipe, at the very least.

~~Luke's~~ Long John Silver's is open!

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It could be worse? At least they hadn't tried to put him in a uniform?

Well, someone was about to get in trouble for breaking corporate's 'no phone use at work' rule which was almost certainly written down in a binder somewhere. Liliana had intended to stop by for lunch and subtly get a bead on how he was reacting to their visit with Olivia now that several days had elapsed, but circumstances had shifted her intentions slightly.

"My darling, what in any of the hells is happening here? If I get stopped by one more of these...things, I'm going to rot it into the kind of sludge even the Golgari wouldn't touch."

Honestly, at this point, Ignis would be willing to use his phone at work just to get fired. One suffered through a lot being the right hand to Noctis Lucis Caelum, but never had he suffered indignities quite like this before.

The notification from his phone was the most blessed thing he'd heard all day.

"You're supposed to have that in your--"

Ignis cut his alleged coworker off with a sharp gesture. "I'm taking my break."

"Your break isn't for another hour and a ha--"

"I do not care."

Which meant that, as soon as he found a spot where he felt he could go relatively undisturbed (difficulty mode: impossible), he was hastily calling Liliana directly, and she'd barely even had the chance to answer before it came bubbling out of him:

"Shipped," he said, "frozen, from the other side of the bloody country, when we live on an island off of an abundant fishing coastline. Liliana, I am starting to believe the island has gone absolutely mad during everyone's absence this time."

Liliana blinked at her phone. That was certainly not how she'd expected the conversation with her normally-reserved [404 noun not found] to go, never mind begin. She immediately turned to begin making her way to the diner, ditching her litany of complaints in order to focus on his.

"I'm inclined to agree with you about the madness," she said, wrinkling her nose at the smell from the off black material beneath her feet. "What was being shipped to you? Fish?"

It must be admitted that Liliana was privately certain that Ignis would have the same reaction to being shipped frozen fish even if the rest of the island hadn't been taken over by madness.

"If one is feeling quite generous," Ignis huffed in response, "then yes."

But he had to admit, amid the frustration of feeling quite set adrift in unfamiliar territory with all the physical changes the island was going through, in addition to this absolute miserable excuse for a restaurant that Luke's had become, hearing Liliana's voice was having an immediately calming, centering effect on him, and his next sigh was somewhat...grounding.

"Almost as if overnight," he said, explaining in a much more measured, though no less strained tone, "our quaint little Luke's Diner has become what is apparently known as a Long John Silver's, a chain seafood establishment that practically makes the Crow's Nest look like the Caelum Via."

Yes, he understood that Liliana would not get those references, but she was very clever, she would surely be able to derive plenty from context clues.

"I've half a mind to go out and do the daily catch myself, at this point."

The odds of Ignis getting the reference hadn't stopped Liliana from invoking the Golgari, other than a slight, wistful recognition that he wouldn't (yet) understand the full scope of her threat.

"Is 'John' just a common warning label to append to any restaurant of subpar quality?" she drawled. "To inform those coming to dine that they are somehow in for a meal that begins as bland, detours to salty, greasy, and garlicky, and yet still never makes more of an impression than a wilted salad upon the palate? I just came from a Papa John's, where I tried 'pizza' for the first time and I must confess, my darling, I am not a fan."

There was a long,long pause as Ignis processed this information.

"I am making you proper pizza tonight," he decided, firm and immovable and determined. "A great injustice has occurred on this day and needs to be remedied."

Well, many culinary atrocities have been happening throughout the day, it was true, but there had to be a line, and serving Liliana Vess substandard pizza was far, far on the other side of it.

Oh no. Implacable Ignis was certainly--ahem. Nothing, everything was fine, nobody was using any illegal voices or anything.

"You know agreeing to this plan is a sign of a great deal of trust and respect, yes?" she noted, after having cleared her throat for no reason. "Having been burned once makes me generally unwilling to make the same mistake twice, particularly within the same day, but for you, my darling, I will set aside my reservations and try again."

"If I am unable to convince you, my dear," Ignis vowed, "then I may as well put away my chef's knives for good and never cook again.c

And to think, people thought him a bit dramatic. No idea where they could possibly be getting that notion from.

It was an absolute mystery.

"But then what will you fiddle with to distract me?" she asked him and young ~~on a scale of vampires~~ lady, you put that tone away this instant. "No matter, I refuse to acknowledge a world where this possibility exists. It would clearly be an aberration and I would simply have to take it upon myself to correct the world's error."

She heaved a long-suffering sigh at the idea. The things she'd do for you, Ignis, in this imaginary reality you've both set up.

Edited 2023-10-24 16:07 (UTC)

"I'm a very resourceful man," Ignis assured her, since no level of irritation could preclude him from walking through a door that wide open, "I'm sure I'll be able to think of something. My kitchen or yours?"

A matter this dire clearly called for quick and decisive action.

"Well, I'm only a few yards away from the diner door now - close enough to see the signage change, Gaea preserve us - and yours is closer."

And quieter.

"In just a moment, I'll be inside and you can be aggrieved in person at me until your shift ends." Liliana was fundamentally misunderstanding certain aspects of either corporate restaurant culture and how done with everything Ignis was right now.

And wouldn't it so happen that they would have it very much to themselves, as well.

"I am tempted to tell you to just save yourself that particular bit of torture," Ignis said with a fair bit of warning in his tone, "but I will admit, I am in desperate need for a breath of fresh air.

"And maybe some kindling and a barrel of gasoline, as well," he added, a moment later.

"Darling, don't tease me with images of wanton destruction when I'm trying so hard to be good," she teased. "Especially since I can see there are more of those TV creeps inside the diner now--"

She hung up as she opened the door to the restaurant and sauntered inside, with a full Liliana Vess strut.

"--And a fire might be the most merciful option," she finished.

Red mana was destruction, after all. Black was corruption.

"Hello, darling," she said, walking right past the TV-headed creep trying to talk at her and heading straight for Ignis.

Edited 2023-10-24 19:59 (UTC)

"Welcome to--" Liliana walking right past the creep wasn't going to prevent them from at least attempting a greeting, although Ignis, lowering his phone and slipping it back into his pocket, was certainly going to.

"Oh, just stuff it already," he sighed, "won't you?"

His next sigh, however, as he moved over to meet her, hand immediately drifting out for her arm and then, once he had the feel of that, continuing toward her hip, was much different, relieved and pleased and grateful. "Liliana," he said, "your presence right now is a balm to the soul and music to my ears. Even more so than usual."

Her hand reached out for his, too, fingers tangling together in their usual public greeting, but this time, as his hand continued to her arm, her other hand reached for his face, bringing it to hers for a kiss that flirted with hunger, even while carefully remaining within the bounds of socially acceptable. Well, perhaps not for his new corporate overlords, but ask Lili if she cared for them. "Good," she replied, her voice rich and full in his ear,like the velvet wine he'd brought home from New Zealand. "Say the word, my darling, and I'll whisk you away from all of this."

By the simple expedient of walking, of course, since her mana was not inclined towards folding space or time and the Mending removed the ability to wrap her magic around him and planeswalk away, but she was quite prepared to use magic to keep those things off his back and away from them if that's what they needed.

Ignis hadn't cared one whit about his new corporate overlords from the moment he walked into this place (and then nearly walked right into a table), he certainly wasn't going to start now with that kiss. In fact, he was more than willing to press the limits of that line.

"And what word," he asked, "would that be?"

"'Goodbye' seems most appropriate," Liliana declared, fingers trailing down his arm to brush against his wrist. "But I've always been oddly fond of the Rakdosian 'Let's blow this spiced meat stand'."

"That one does seem to have quite the array regional flavor," Ignis noted with amusement. His hand found her chin, as if he'd even need to lift it to angle her face closer for another slow kiss.

But it still lingered there afterward. "I'll have to pick up a few things first," he said. "Let yourself in, and I'll meet you there?"

"If you'd like," she murmured to him. "Is Gladio there to let me in?"

There was a shake of his head, so close and so slight that Liliana probably felt it more than saw it.

"He'll be at the gym still," he said, his hand leave her hip so it could dig around in his pocket to extract his keys, then found her hand to press them into it. "You'll need these."

Liliana's hand closed around his keys, emotions swimming through her eyes as they flick up to his glasses. But she couldn't see his, nor could he see hers, so she simply murmured, "Then I'll meet you there," before brushing her lips over his once more.

"I promised I won't be too long," Ignis vowed, ignoring the fact that he wasn't exactly speeding things up at all by just standing there, not wanting to have to drift away quite yet.

It only counted once they parted.

And until then, they were just standing there, deeply within one another's personal space, practically twined about each other, right in the middle of a diner. Like normal people do.

Her finger slid down his cheek. "Good," she said and she sounded a little weary. "It has been a very long day. I talked to Stark and..." She closed her eyes, bowing her head and pressing her forehead against his shoulder. "I would like to be with you tonight."

Feeling the absolutely typical and expected depths of emotions that went along with a mere exchange of keys.

As Liliana's head rested on Ignis' shoulder, Ignis lifted his hand to her back and rubbed it gently.

"Then that is exactly where you're going to be."

Everything was very normal here right now, obviously.

"Thank you," she whispered, breath cool on his skin. She was pretty sure that they should...talk...about stuff...sometime, but right now, she just wanted the peace she found--

Nope, not finishing that sentence, even in the privacy of her own mind.

Again, she just wanted peace.

Listen. Listen. You couldn't date the Long John Silver for over a year and not stop in when the restaurant popped up right there.

And Rey's reaction when she stepped in was, "Oh," and you know what, you deserved so much better, Silver.

He really, truly did.

When the bell on the door chimed to alert everyone to a customer, one of the TV-headed new staff members nudged Ignis with his elbow and hissed a whisper to him.

"Absolutely not," Ignis insisted. "Welcoming someone to this place is an insult to common decency."

Realizing that Ignis was not going to budge, the TV sighed and took it up on itself cheerfully.

"Welcome to Long John Silver's! Can we interest you in our $10 Shrimp Share today? Or better yet, would you like to sign up for our rewards program?"

Ignis' groan suggested he was most interested in just burying his own head in the deep fryer right about now.

Rey was never one to turn down a good deal, which was how you knew it was bad when she said, horrified, "There's a rewards program?"

"Of course!" the TV-head was pleased to inform her. "Sign up for our special, exclusive LJS Silver card, and, for ever tenth combo meal purchased, you get the next one free! Plus, it's a great opportunity to save on things like groceries, gas, and airline miles."

"And stomach pumps at the clinic," Ignis offered helpfully, "one would hope."

A bit of irritated static seemed to flash across the screen.

"Long John Silver's is not affiliated with the FTEC."

"Unfortunate."

"I just need it known that I hate everything about this," Rey declared, despite being in here willingly.

...with a major caveat that she didn't really want to be here.

"Then that makes two of us," said Ignis, with a nod of solidarity, before gesturing broadly behind him to where he just assumed a bright and garish menu was hung. "But if you're hungry, might I suggest.....eating literally anywhere else."

"You're never going to make it to lower management shift leader with that kind of attitude."

"Sir," said Ignis, because no need to be rude, really, "you'll be lucky if I make it to my lunch break."

"Escape is an option," Rey told Ignis.

Love yourself enough to save yourself.

"Escape," Ignis said dryly, "is inevitable."

Or possibly futile, but look at him! Being an optimist.

"Is it?" This did feel like somewhere where you really would have to escape from behind the counter.

"Gods I hope so," Ignis murmured with a disconsolate grunt, a shake of his head, and a sigh. "So....were you actually going to order something today? Or were you going to make actually smart decisions with your life?"

Employee of the Month material over here, ladies and gents.

"Smart decisions," Rey said immediately. "I knew the man this is named for. I had to see it."

It had satisfied years of curiosity and she regretted it.

There was a long, somewhat awkward pause.

"My condolences," Ignis deadpanned.

"Thanks," Rey said with a sigh. It should have at least been sit down! "I'm going to escape. You can come if you want."

She'd be your cover, Ignis.

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Long John Silver's; Tuesday [10/24].

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