Infinite Consortium - Tuesday

[single_man_tear]

Once again, Dean's experience with that freaking chair started early in the day. It was like having the most annoying co-worker who would try to eat you.

So the chair was tied up again today as Dean spent about an hour organizing some of the items here before giving up and just sitting down and going through his own lore books at the counter.

[Open]

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[deathsmajesty]

"Dean," Liliana called as she trailed into the store at far-too-early-in-the-morning (roughly quarter after ten). "Dean, darling I have news."

Was she heading over to the chair to untie it? Of course.

[single_man_tear]

“You’ve sold the chair to a customer that needs firewood?” Dean snarked/asked.

[deathsmajesty]

"You're so clever," Liliana drawled over her shoulder as she untied the chair. "But no, you're getting a new coworker. Her name is Tara, she starts on Thursday."

[single_man_tear]

“Great,” Dean said not taking his eyes off of the book in front of him. “I’m sure she’ll fit right in. At least the chair will have someone else to try and snack on instead of me.”

[deathsmajesty]

"Oh no," Liliana said, smiling to herself. "She managed to sit on him all yesterday while they were present."

[single_man_tear]

Oh. That got the chair some serious stink eye.

“Really? Really? It’s like that?”

[deathsmajesty]

"So, clearly, I think the problem here isn't the chair," she added. "I'd like to see you really buckling down on coming to terms with your coworker."

Liliana's life continued to be the best, it really did.

[single_man_tear]

Dean did not like the sound of that.

"... What are you suggesting?"

[deathsmajesty]

"Perhaps rather than using negative reinforcement with the chair, try positive instead?" Liliana said, her smile growing. "Bonding activities. Enrichment."

[single_man_tear]

"Seriously? Come on! The thing tries to eat me every time I work here!" Dean complained.

[deathsmajesty]

"And have you thought that it might possibly be because you've created a hostile work environment?" Liliana asked sweetly. "Also, catch."

Something small and metallic flew through the air in an arc towards Dean.

[single_man_tear]

Normally Dean's reaction to a necromancer throwing items at him would be to duck. He had to force himself to not do that and catch it.

"A key?" Dean asked.

[deathsmajesty]

"I mentioned when you were first hired that there were lockboxes in the back room you would only get a key to if you proved you weren't a complete idiot," she said. "It's where the very dangerous artifacts go. You've an absolute idiot in most respects, certainly, but you've proven that you're at least a careful idiot when it comes to things that could end the world, so you get a key."

[single_man_tear]

Liliana would probably reconsider this if she knew just how many times Dean and his brother had kicked off an apocalypse.

"Well here's to being a partial idiot," Dean replied as he started to add the key to his key ring.

"Do we have an inventory of what's in the lock boxes?"

[deathsmajesty]

"Yes," Liliana said. "And I'd actually like to go over them with you anyway, since, again, they're incredibly dangerous."

[single_man_tear]

Wow. Actual work. "Yeah, Okay," Dean said still fiddling with the key ring as he turned to the back room where the lock boxes were held.

[deathsmajesty]

She promised not to make it happen too often. Especially since that could interfere with Dean's chair enrichment time.

The lockboxes were set up in a corner, like tiny lockers full of horror. "Too give you an idea of the kind of things that go into these boxes, there are multiple items on the floor that will kill you to use them, like the celestial sword that the armor like to carry around. These are the kinds of things that result in devastation on a far grander scale."

She opened one locker and pulled out a dark orb that was sized to fit comfortably in a palm. "This is an oblivion stone," she said, and for all that Liliana had been casual about kicking down the gates of heaven, she sounded grave now. "It allows you to slowly mark certain people, items, and landmarks that you want to protect, and then destroys everything else within, oh, miles around. That includes things like rivers, mountains, nearby schools, and the like. You and those protected items are basically left within a crater that has been scraped down to bedrock." She carefully handed it over to Dean to examine if he wished.

[single_man_tear]

Dean looked over the stone curiously. "Well that's something I want to never see used. Do I want to know how you came about this?"

After turning it over in his hands a couple of times he handed back.

[deathsmajesty]

She put it carefully away and pulled out the next item. She held it by a hilt, but even just looking at it revealed something of what it was - a decapitated head beneath a hood. "Darling, it's highly gratifying that you think I have any control about what we are sent, but I must sadly shatter that illusion. Now, this is a gorgon flail," she said. "It is blindfolded beneath the hood because it's petrifaction field is still quite active." She reached up beneath the hood and ensured the blindfold was still in place, then removed the hood. Heavy, tentacles, like thick ropes with weighted barbs at the end, fell down her arm to her elbow.

She held it out to Dean and if he took it, he'd be able to feel a faint humming through the hilt.

"Wielded by an expert, the weighted tendrils can do significant damage on their own, but the real point of them is to catch the victim's attention enough to get them to look in the weapon's direction," she explained. "Catching the unbound eyes of the gorgon will turn them to stone, even if the tendrils have inflicted no more than the slightest cut."

[single_man_tear]

"Huh. Gorgons. I've had to deal with those," Dean noted. "Much different from the ones in my reality. Also not as hot as the animated one in the original meta for Clash of the Titans.

He picked up the handle of the gorgon head and pursed his lips in thought. "Could also be used as a neck massager if it was so deadly," he joked as he handed it back.

[deathsmajesty]

"I'm not even asking where you're getting that from," Lilian snarked, carefully hooding it again. She put it away, closed and locked that box and opened up another lockbox, this one much taller, withdrawing a simple, unadorned sword. "This is Worldslayer," she said. "Well, one of them. They're rare, but certainly not singular. It operates much like the oblivion stone, only without the benefit of being able to save a number of other things. When Worldslayer draws blood, it destroys everything but itself, including its wielder."

[single_man_tear]

"So what you're saying is, don't use it as a letter opener," Dean said examining the sword with a slight frown on his face. "Got it.

[deathsmajesty]

She relaxed a little as she put it away. "The rest are less horrific, but macabre enough I don't want them out where a cadre of do-gooders can come over and bother me about them," she said, pulling out a withered hand, an oversized eyeball that was still wet with aqueous humor, a red candle that had an odd, coppery smell to it, and a flute that had definitely once been a femur.

"A wishclaw talisman, a witches eye, a bloodtallow candle, and a bone flute," she explained.

[single_man_tear]

“And what pray tell do these creepy artifacts do? Or do I even want to know?” Dean asked warily.

[deathsmajesty]

"By burning the bloodtallow candle you curse your enemy with a weakness so intense, it might kill them outright, though it's very shortlived," Liliana said. "The bone flute does something similar but on a much larger scale. It won't kill your enemies outright, but it's a good way to make everyone around you less effective as you play, the witches' eye lets you look in the very short term future, and you can break a finger on the talisman and you are granted one very small wish, but then an opponent receives it." She glanced down. "This one has three wishes remaining."

[single_man_tear]

“Good to know.”

Dean took the key off his key ring and offered it back to Liliana. “If you’re going off island for a period of time I’ll hold on to the key for a couple days. But I’ve started enough apocalypses to know I shouldn’t have immediate access to these things. Thanks for the trust but this idiot knows that regular access to this would start something bad.”

He looked hard at that withered hand. So simple. One wish and she would be fine. No more worries. So what if-

Nope.

He shoved the key at Liliana. Yeah. “Take it.”

[deathsmajesty]

Very small wish, Dean.

Liliana took the key back with no commentary, but a long and thoughtful look. "Very well," she said, tucking it back into a pocket of her skirt. She put the rest of the items back into their lockboxes and then rechecked all of them to ensure that they were secured. "Should I continue to update you when new items are added?"

[single_man_tear]

“Yeah, I’d like to know if anything else shows up,” Dean replied. “How often do these things show up?”

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana shrugged. "These are the only ones that have arrived during my tenor on the island, but several of them arrived at once. So who can say?"

[single_man_tear]

“I don’t know who decided to make these things or why but the fact they are here just puts me on edge. I guess better here than some whiny goth teenager who just broke up with someone.”

[deathsmajesty]

"Many of them are fairly common," Liliana said. "Not any of the world destroying ones of course, but they're rare, not a one-of-a kind. But yes. At least here, they're being held by someone I trust."

Namely, herself.

[single_man_tear]

There was just the slightest pause before Dean replied.

“Well, that’s going to make me sleep better tonight.”

[deathsmajesty]

"If it helps, I'm fairly certain they're all one-of-a-kind on this plane," she pointed out.