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Infinite Consortium, Monday

It was difficult dragging herself to work after a lovely week off, but Liliana eventually did it, albeit with ill-grace. Her temper was not improved by seeing that Dean had left her something to deal with...what, two Tuesdays ago now?

Well, at least it was an artifact, even if she had no idea what kind, so being abandoned for two weeks wasn't going to hurt the thing any.

Then Liliana opened the box and wished that being abandoned for two weeks had hurt the thing. "I hate you, Dean," she sighed. It didn't matter that she'd done the same to him several times now. It didn't matter that she'd basically told him to do it. It was too early on a Monday morning for...that.

"Hmm, do I want to deal with this today?" she asked the empty air - for the sheer drama of it, obviously. She was already turning to head back to the counter, tossing the answer over her shoulder with casual disregard. "No."

What? No one said 'words of power' had to be fancy.

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Well, at least there was one benefit to being back at work, and that would be the resumption of weekly lunchtime...snakes. And like Ignis could come back from a very French-rooted culture and not be practically champing at the bit to be in his own kitchen crafting his own petit fours, and that was what would naturally make for his offerings that day, enough to override any concerns about too many sugars and sweets (especially since he planned to make up for that with a very healthy dinner). But, for noe, there was something seasonal, something personal, and something aesthetic.

And, okay, something wholly tailored to his own tastes, but he did not think Liliana would be too terribly offended by such a small step (or any step, really) toward his own indulgences....particularly if he would be sharing them with her.

Either way, they were all neatly settled in the container tucked under his arm as he entered the shop, closed the door behind him, and gave his using call out to help him locate just where his paramour might be engaged today, in this surely regretful return to the regular.

"Liliana? Darling?"

"Over here, my darling," Liliana called from halfway down the store, where the haunted armor stood at attention. While her greeting to him sounded perfectly pleasant enough, her tone switched back to highly aggrieved when she resumed her conversation.

"No, I will not be apologizing," she snapped. "This conversation is ridiculous and I don't even know why I am entertaining it."

Well. That certainly lifted Ignis' brow with intrigue. And it also caused Ignis to lift to lid of the container so that, when he did reach Liliana, he could immediately offer it out for her to pick a petit fours, as both balm for her current irritations and a good excuse to halt this conversation she found so anathema, because clearly it would just be rude to continue speaking with one's mouth full.

"Dare I even ask?" he asked, knowing full well that he very much did want to ask, and he suspected Liliana rather invited him to dare, else she would have just dismissed the ongoing dialogue (monologue, really, considering?) entirely upon his arrival.

Shhh! You weren't supposed to realize that, Ignis.

Her eye roll was audible in her tone, though she did pause to reach for one of the petit fours before complaining, "I'm being told I need to apologize to a chair."

The creaking that somehow managed to sound woebegone clarified which chair in particular, not that Ignis had really had much doubt, surely.

"I don't apologize to people," she continued, now addressing the chair directly, "and you're merchandise. Nor am I the least bit sorry, either; this is ridiculous." And that last was clearly directed at him, so he could agree with her while she ate her petit four.

Oooh, lime!

Edited 2024-10-28 11:23 (UTC)

Would there have ever been any way that, when he woke up that morning, Ignis could have possibly have predicted he'd be playing moderator to a disagreement with furniture?

No. There absolutely would not have been, and yet here he was, trying his best all the same.

"What was the instigating incident in all of this?" he asked. "Catch me up to speed."

In fairness to Liliana, she had not expected to be in a disagreement with furniture! It was ridiculous! She'd said so!

This was all Dean's fault.

"The chair is whining because I killed something horrible," Liliana said with a shrug. "I should be getting thanked! Unless everybody wanted a malevolent piggy bank running around." And that was the long and short of it. She took a savage bite out of another petit four (pumpkin) to show that that was all there was to say.

The armor, however, disagreed, beginning a long groaning explanation, complete with the clanging of the visor of the helm. Between the clashing of the visor and the groan echoing through the empty armor, the noise was obnoxious enough to have her swallowing quickly just to interrupt.

"Abyss, fine! Shut up! He can't even understand you, you're doing this just to be obnoxious." And it had worked, too, because here she was translating for her paramour just so the armor wouldn't give him a splitting headache with this nonsense. "Dean left the box holding the malevolent piggy bank on the chair, who spent two weeks feeling the horrid little thing running around in the crate, but didn't eat it because it's been yelled at in the past for eating other merchandise. However, now the chair thinks that if I was just going to destroy it anyway, I should have let it eat the bank instead."

The chair shuffled, the armor moaned (more quietly), and with a hum of exasperation, Liliana added, "Especially since we were gone all last week and it didn't know when we were coming back, apparently."

This was utter foolishness.

Again, this was Dean's fault. Dean and whatever 'collective bargaining' was. Also probably Dean's fault.

Edited 2024-10-28 13:37 (UTC)

"Malevolent...piggy bank?" asked Ignis, with that question containing far too much of an intrigued lilt in it. This was, of course, not the oart of the story he should be focused on, and yet he couldn't help but wonder...

Could anyone blame him? For wanting to know more about the prospect of something that, perhaps, might ensure that the money collected into it was kept safe and sound with the thread of violence? Or quite possibly worse?

"Malevolent ho--" He started, then stopped himself, waving his free hand dismissively. "Never mind. I believe the thing to remember now is that what's done is," tragically!, "done, and cannot be changed, so bickering over the matter now is a rather futile endeavor, isn't it? All we can do now is perhaps move forward with a consideration of setting a precedent for the handling and disposal of unsavory artifacts moving forward into the future, rather than hemming and having over what is," regrettably, "already over and done."

It was from a demonic haunted house, Ignis. Was money really worth the combination of two of your least favorite things?

"Thank you, my darling," Liliana sniffed. "Not that it should take someone else to--" She glanced over at her paramour and then really looked at him for the first time, rather than splitting her attention elsewhere.

The chair shuffled again, sounding somehow stubborn. One could practically hear the demand for an apology. Well, one could if one were to be paying attention. Which Liliana most resolutely was not. Instead, she was leaning in to give Ignis his long-delayed kiss of greeting. Which somehow landed on his throat and involved a nip at those oh-so-teasingly-exposed collarbones.

"Hello, love," she murmured. "I do believe I've found something even more delicious to nibble on. I am bereft these many minutes have passed without me realizing."

The chair creaked again. Liliana didn't care.

And here Ignis was, a man who pride himself in his perception, caught off guard by that kiss. His attention had been honed in on her the moment her words halted on her lips, curious and a touch worried about what may have stopped them, and when it turned out that it was apparently him...

The warmth of such a pleasant surprise wasn't the only feeling swelling up within him. The corner of his mouth turned up and he cleared his throat softly.

"In your defense," he murmured back, "my petit fours are par excellence...

"Besides," he added, "it's quite clear that this discourse has caused emotions to run a bit....heated. I daresay, it would seem the most prudent course of action at this juncture would be to give it some time...and space to allow some of these hot heads to...cool down.

"Liliana?" His free hand now brushing lightly against her arm. "Perhaps a moment or two in the back?"

Edited 2024-10-28 18:24 (UTC)

"Of course," she purred, intending many, many more moments than just one or two. Her fingers traced over the strong curve of his clavicle, nail gliding over his skin. "Perhaps if I get something more substantial than these petit fours in me, I'll be able to ride out this current mood and return in a more agreeable state of mind."

She was quite committed to fostering an open and communicative workplace, surely the only reason she was gliding towards the back room on Ignis' arm.

"...I like your shirt," she noted as they left a fuming chair and a deeply sighing suit of armor behind.

"There's gonna be a party?!"

Someone had spotted the posters!

That someone also did not believe in preambles, but definitely believed in just bursting in through the door with a loud question.

"Hello, Harley darling," Liliana said, looking up with a smile. "Indeed. Halloween."

"And with costumes?"

Please don't be surprised that part was something that would appeal to Harley, as someone who was even just then dressed in... whatever all of that was. Something very DayGlo.

"I most certainly hope so," Liliana said with a slight laugh. "I'll be very disappointed otherwise."

"Fun!" Harley enthused, right before her eyebrows bounced way up. "But ooh, I don't know what sort of costume I should go for! A hot one? A funny one? Maybe I could do Batsy? That would be hilarious! Except no one but Pam would get it..."

Congrats, Liliana, now you had an overly excited Harley pacing around near your store's entrance!

This was great entertainment, honestly, though now she had to watch a little more diligently for the chair since it was still in a snit.

"What is a Batsy?" Liliana asked, proving Harley's point perfectly.

"The Batman," Harley said, not even bothering with the rising intonation of a question anymore because yeah. "This guy that dresses up like a bat --"

Yeah, she mimed the little ears on the batsuit with her index fingers on either side of her head.

"-- and goes around the city sticking his nose in other people's business."

"Why in the Abyss would he dress up like a bat for that?" Liliana asked. Surely she was misunderstanding. Somehow.

"I'm guessin' childhood trauma?" Harley replied, with a big shrug. "Or compensating for something. Or both! I dunno, I just think he's an annoying jerkwad."

As was her duty as a Gotham rogue.

"Darling, I grew up in a war and you don't see me dressing up as an oversized mammal to run around a city," Liliana snarked.

You know, from her unimpeachable position as a ruthless necromancer who committed war crimes.

"Well ya probably developed other coping mechanisms, like the rest of us," Harley replied, much too easily. With another big shrug. "You just also developed a better fashion sense while you were at it!"

Listen, you couldn't miss people if you surrounded yourself with the dead. That wasn't a coping mechanism, it was just common sense.

She laughed. "I appreciate the compliment, though I feel like having better fashion sense than the man who dresses up like a bat is a fairly low bar." She eyes Harley speculatively. "Well, our theme is going to be the mythological Underworld, is there any kind of costume you'd be interested in that goes with that?"

Sure, sure, and Harley was prone to being co-dependent not because of parental abandonment but because she just liked people so much!

She paused in her general pacing to give Liliana a quizzical look.

"So what, like... Hades?"

The corner of Liliana's mouth kicked up. "Precisely," she said. "And Persephone. Though the Greeks are hardly the only ones with their own Underworld."

Dress up at Hela, Harley! Watch Dr. Blake and/or Thor twitch!

Did Harley only know the name 'Hades' from a certain Disney movie? Probably! And that was about where her mythical underworld knowledge began and ended.

Might explain why she looked so thoughtful right now. "I'm gonna have to put some serious brainpower into this one." Or, she could forget all about the theme and do whatever! A very real possibility! "I'd hate to not have a great costume when there's a party for once!"

Her memory was very short.

"I suppose it's been nearly three months since the last one," Liliana said, sounding surprised. It seemed much more recent, but then immortality messed with one's sense of time. "Though we are heading into the season for it."

"There's a season for parties?"

Forgive Harley, she'd spent a good chunk of her adult years in more of an 'it's a party every night' kind of environment.

Hey, Liliana hadn't known much about the plane when she'd arrived and a season of parties wasn't particularly far outside the realm of possibility. Maybe Harley was from an Earth terribly different from this one?

You know, where it was normal for people to run around dressed like bats.

"The holidays are coming up and plenty of people have parties and things to celebrate and the island itself does...things...every day in..." What month was it? Ah right, December, the twelfth month, even though the prefix Deca- meant ten. Much like how October was the tenth. This didn't annoy Liliana at all, really.

"Why do I get the feeling you'd really enjoy Ragefest?" Liliana asked with a soft chuckle.

Harley lit up - also immediately discarding anything else Liliana had just said, retaining no memory of it whatsoever.

"What is that?" she asked, with seemingly every muscle in her face involved in enunciating the words with something approaching awe.

"A festival on the plane of Ravnica. The guild in charge of entertainment throws it--" not an entirely accurate way of describing it, but close enough "--and it lasts for days. Destruction, violence, sex, drugs...it's a mix of a party, a riot, an orgy, and a spectacle."

Harley's jaw was on the floor.

Right up until, of course, she squealed, "That sounds amazing! Oh my God! And you don't even have to die to get there?!"

The implication being that this sounded like Heaven to her.

Which Liliana had no concept of anyway. The Hells and the Abyss? Certainly. Those were planes. Heaven???

"Of course not, darling, that you simply have to take a portal to Ravnica when one is happening. I mean, people die during Ragefest, but dying to get there sounds counterproductive."

Harley wasn't about to explain, either. Nor did she seem at all concerned about the dying during part of it all, because clearly the danger of that just added to the fun.

"Can I go and when can I go?"

"Certainly," Liliana said. "It's just another portal destination. Though Ragefest isn't something that's regularly scheduled. I don't know what triggers one, but they seemingly just happen."

Liliana had a few theories, but even she didn't trespass lightly on the Cult of Rakdos. She had enough troubles with demons to anger a parun. "There are other likely entertainments that you can enjoy happening more regularly, but, sadly, I can't give you the timing for the next Ragefest, darling."

Harley made a disappointed face at her, a human version of the :( emoticon. The stark contrasts in her makeup really helped accentuate it.

"Well that's no fun!"

As if she'd been able to do anything with the information even if Liliana had provided her with a time. Remembering things, even fun ones, wasn't always her strong suit.

"There are still plenty of Rakdos entertainments you can enjoy even when it's not Ragefest," Liliana assured her. "Do you like pit fights? Or, I suppose the better question is, were you most excited about the sex, drugs, violence, or general mayhem? Because those all still exist, just not as overwhelmingly for the normal citizens as is during Ragefest."

What a silly question!

"All of the above! All of them!"

"Then a trip to Rix Maadi will probably entertain you," Liliana said. "A murder-circus has many rings, after all."

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Infinite Consortium, Monday

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