Pick Your Poison, Monday

[joan_of_bark]

It was a rested Pam who made her way down to the store that morning. She'd spent the weekend working on a few small bath product projects of her own, and the all-natural lavender bubblebath and shower wash made it onto the shelves that day.

She didn't really know why she bothered - it wasn't like she was in this to encourage consumerism. But honestly, it had soothed her nerves in a way the rest of her frustrating research didn't.

By noon, she found herself back on the sofa, paging through several newspapers. Trying to get a sense of what else was going on on the mainland that might need her attention.

Now if only those ponies stopped trying to get in and eat the papers...

[[ open! ]]

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[the_best_sister]

After broadcasting the news, Yelena swung by JGOB and the Perk where she decided to pop in on Pam and see how she was doing as it had been a while since her last visit.

She pushed open the door and and announced herself with her usual gusto: "Hello! I have coffee and bagels if you like that sort of thing!"

[joan_of_bark]

"I like coffee," Pam said, looking up. "Where are the bagels from, and what's on them?"

Predictable.

[the_best_sister]

"The bagels are from the God of Biscuits and they are plain bagels," Yelena said handing over the coffee. "I don't like things on my bagels they get caught in my teeth and then I look like an idiot because I have a seed stuck in my teeth and nobody says anything about it. I did bring a tub of onion and herb cream cheese though."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam considered it. "I'll pass on the bagels," she said, "I have my own homegrown lunch."

But she took the coffee. "How have you been, Yelena?"

[the_best_sister]

"Yesterday I was covered in sugar and today I was surrounded by adorable little horses," Yelena replied. "And apparently my TV only wants to show me 'It's a Wonderful Life' over and over again. Other than that my life is as normal as it can be. How about yourself?"

[joan_of_bark]

"Well, my only employee is currently a black hollyhock," Pam said dryly, "and my research seems to be hitting a roadblock."

She sipped the coffee.

"But one of the area's biggest polluters on the mainland has closed last week, so it's not all bad news."

Not that she had anything to do with that. Cough.

[the_best_sister]

"Well hey, hooray for the environment," Yelena said with a smirk and did a slow look around the place for the black hollyhock. Not that she'd know what it would even look like. "And I heard about Adrian on the news. I've gone by his place a few times with handwavy permission from the player to make sure Boston was doing okay. I'm sure he'll pop out whenever the island feels like messing with his head. It's too bad he's missing the ponies. What are you researching?"

[joan_of_bark]

Pam saw her looking. "That's a black hollyhock," she said, pointing towards the black flowers in the planter. "I'm keeping him fertilized."

Most pointedly not dirty.

"I'm looking into some fungal creatures that I keep encountering on the mainland," she added. "Trying to trace back their source, or some kind of way to stop them from forming. Adrian's been trying to help."

[the_best_sister]

"Fungal creatures. Like mushrooms in that video game that you have to jump over or smash with a hammer?" Yelena asked looking confused.

[joan_of_bark]

Pam looked at her. It was a little unreadable. Possibly close to flat.

She pushed up the sleeve of her overalls. The fruiting bodies of the lamia fungus hung off the inside of her lower arm, with brown threads winding their way around her arm.

"Like these mushrooms. But upright and walking."

[the_best_sister]

Yelena's eyes ping-ponged back and forth from Pam's arm to Pam's a few times as there was literal mushrooms growing on her friend's arm.

Look, it's the first time she's seen it, okay?

"First of all you are in dire need of a dermatologist," Yelena informed her. "And second... things like this on your arm are-"

She paused not wanting to make assumptions. "Okay I'm assuming whatever kind of encounter you are having is not the good kind."

[joan_of_bark]

"A dermatologist wouldn't know what to do with this," Pam said dryly, pushing her sleeve back down. "A mycologist might, but I'm aware of what the specific fungus in me is. I put it there."

She shook her head. "These creatures, on the other hand... are clearly related, but I can't seem to figure out more than that."

[the_best_sister]

"Wait. Hold on. You wanted this in your arm?" Yelena asked, pointing at it with a mixture of disbelief and curiosity. "Yeah, I feel like there’s a whole personal saga here that I missed the memo on."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam shrugged.

"Do you go blurting out your dark backstory without prompting to every single pretty girl you meet?" she asked.

[the_best_sister]

"I don’t know. Depends on how pretty she is," Yelena said with a smirk. "But seriously. Phew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I don’t exactly go around spilling my whole before I got here story, and I didn’t think to ask if you’re into injecting yourself with weird fungi. Not really conversation material, you know?"

[joan_of_bark]

"Unless you're a mycologist," Pam snarked. She crossed her arms. "Though now you do owe me a small scrap of dark backstory."

[the_best_sister]

Yelena arched an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "A mycologist? No. But if I meet one, I’ll be sure to mention you." She crossed her arms, mirroring Pam. "And a scrap of backstory? Fine. I did some bad things for the Russian government annnnnnnnnnd let’s just say their HR department wasn’t big on giving us a choice."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam's mouth twitched. "I've done some bad things, too," she said. "Because I needed to." Beat. "Occasionally because someone was annoying..."

Kidding?

Well, you'd be excused for thinking she was.

[the_best_sister]

"Well, taking care of annoying people are usually the most rewarding," Yelena said, now leaning on the counter. "They totally have it coming."

[joan_of_bark]

"That is true," Pam said. (Or at least it was easier to tell yourself that they did.) "Though the Russian government probably has different standards for violence."

[the_best_sister]

"True, but being annoying is definitely on the list," Yelena admitted and gave Pam a teasing look. "Just so I know I won't get on your bad side, what annoying things should I avoid with you?"

[joan_of_bark]

"Don't openly and deliberately poison the environment, especially not for profit," Pam said.

She didn't quite manage to hit a deadpan on that one.

[the_best_sister]

"Oh, well... that really helps," Yelena said, pursing her lips and nodding slowly in thought. "Shouldn't be a problem for our burgeoning friendship, where we get to know each other through tiny little scraps and bits of information."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam let out a soft huff of a laugh. "Any particular scraps you were hoping for this time?"

[the_best_sister]

Yelena smiled mischievously in response. "Only what you're willing to share," she said before taking a sip of her coffee.

[joan_of_bark]

"Sounds like a cop out," Pam said, sipping her coffee. Beatifically. Sort of.

[the_best_sister]

Yelena let out a short laugh. "Maybe I don't want you blurting out your dark backstory just because I have a pretty face."

[joan_of_bark]

"Well, if you ask me a question, and I answer honestly, it's not blurting anymore, is it?" Pam said, raising her mug. "Here's a free one, though: back home, they call me Poison Ivy."

[the_best_sister]

"All right," Yelena said, tilting her head in interest. "I'll tell you that I used to be known as a Black Widow. So for a question... how did you earn the name Poison Ivy? Did you pick it? Or was it put upon you?"

[joan_of_bark]

"I chose it," Pam said. "To protect those closest to me, and to give a name to something new I'd become."

She sipped her coffee.

"How about yours?"

[the_best_sister]

"An organization of assassins and spies from Russia," Yelena. "Any particular reason why you chose that particular name?"

[joan_of_bark]

"Well, I'd just learned my skin excreted toxins," Pam said. "The rest is poetic license."

[the_best_sister]

"Look at us," Yelena said with a smirk. "Two women from completely different realities, both sporting nicknames tied to poisons. What a wonderfully wacky multiverse we’ve landed in."

[joan_of_bark]

"Except I don't speak Russian."

[the_best_sister]

"Well it's not a requirement to be cool," Yelena joked. "But it certainly helps."