Infinite Consortium, Monday

[deathsmajesty]

Sometimes, you got artifacts that you knew exactly what they were for. Sometimes, you got artifacts that you had no idea what they were for. And then, sometimes, you got artifacts that you knew what they were for, technically, but still had no idea how, or, more importantly, why?

Like the newly-arrived helm of the host. What would possess someone to wear this? What about the weight? The balance? The likelihood of it getting caught on literally everything?

Maybe someone would want to buy it as a conversational piece, because surely no one was stupid enough to want to buy it and use it as an actual helmet.

Helm of the Host
They say two heads are better than one. If so, this helm is the best ever.

Comments

[chef_chocobro]

Ignis had claimed that the campfire at the picnic on Saturday had inspired some new recipehspehs to the test. He already suspected the s'mores truffles would be a success, but he had a feeling his bid for something more gourmet and also a bit savory would also go over nicely.

Once they eventually got to the food, that was.

But there was only one way to find out for sure, and that was to come waltzing into the shop and calling out for guidance on where to head next, albeit more out of habit than actual necessity, at this point.

"Liliana?"

[deathsmajesty]

"Over here, my darling," Liliana called back from her usual spot behind the counter. She sounded relaxed; whatever she was currently engaged in was neither frustrating enough to rile her up nor engaging enough to demand all of her attention.

Always a good sign.

[chef_chocobro]

A very good sign, indeed. It substantially reduced the possibility that Ignis himself would need to get quite riled up about something or additionally concerned.

Granted, there was always that likelihood, but it was rather encouraging that they might have to work a bit for it.

"Quiet day?" he guessed, as he, already in transit in that direction, made it to the counter, setting down all her various nibbles and noshes to better free his hands to go and greet her more properly with a kiss.

[deathsmajesty]

Or, rather, more improperly, considering their kisses.

"Quite," Liliana said, from where she was now wrapped in his arms, foot gently rubbing up and down his calf. "I've been looking at my schedule and debating whether I wish to continue holding office hours on Thursday, or switch to another day instead." She laughed. "Utterly thrilling use of my time, no?"

[chef_chocobro]

Oh, well, now, that was all just a matter of perspective, wasn't it? The door was locked. All precautious for propriety were perfectly practiced.

"Mmm, darling," Ignis reminded her, after a moment of just lingering in that greeting, around that faint and familiar grin. "Do consider your audience."

The man did enjoy talking about schedules to a worrying degree.

"But I can certainly understand," he added, "why, if you'll be holding class at home rather than the standard classroom, while an additional venture out to the school for office hours afterwards would be an excessive tedium. Are there any other days you were considering as a decent option instead?"

[deathsmajesty]

"Although we'll both be heading to the school for third period, since that's Dr. Lecter's class," Liliana said. "So it would be potentially convenient..."

But if she were teaching at the godsawful time of nine am and then having additional class at 11, Liliana was highly tempted to take the rest of the afternoon off to do absolutely nothing of consequence before Supper Club that evening. "I also have class on Tuesday, but that won't work at all." She smiled at him and stole another kiss. "I have a standing lunch date that I simply cannot miss."

She brushed her fingers over his face. "Wednesdays, we watch Anakin's descent into madness in the park, leaving Fridays...or Mondays if I chose to swap days here." Because what? Was she supposed to work multiple days at the store? In a single week? Absurdity.

[chef_chocobro]

Oh, perish the thought.

"Well, then," Ignis mused, his own fingers finding familiar, favorite paths down her back, "I suppose it depends on what sort of office hours you hope to hold, my dear. Monday comes with the fresh start of a new week, perfect for preparing for the days ahead, while Friday, then, finding itself at the very end of it, seems suited for finishing up tasks still left unfinished to tie up all those loose ends before the weekend...."

[deathsmajesty]

"Ugh," was Liliana's remarkably mature response to both options. As Ignis almost certainly knew it would be.

Industriousness.

"Of the two, office hours seem more fitting for a Friday, I suppose." Assuming they were still on-island by the time any given Friday rolled around and hadn't just skipped off to explore the Multiverse for some reason or another. "If nothing else, it's closer to whatever class potentially caused a student to seek me out in the first place."

[chef_chocobro]

"And perhaps," Ignis offered, with an appeal he figured she'd find far more his own appeal to industriousness, "due to its proximity to the weekend, a student might find themselves less likely to wish to pursue the meeting with that ahead of them, figuring they could just save it for next week, and then, conveniently, proceed to merely forget, thus saving everyone both time and trouble."

[deathtofrendo]

Quinn was wandering through town on her way home after class. (How had she gotten signed up for classes? No idea. This was apparently just her life now.) She'd passed this particular shop any number of times before and couldn't say exactly why she was drawn to it this time around, but here she was, wandering in.

"What," she said, looking at the Helm, "the actual fuck?"

[deathsmajesty]

"I assure you darling," came the languid voice from behind the counter, "I have absolutely no idea. I'm assuming it's some kind of reminder that you can have wealth, power, and magic, and still cannot purchase, command, or conjure taste or common sense."

Behind the counter sat a woman with long black hair held away from her face by a golden headdress, purple eyes watching Quinn with curiosity, and wearing a purple gown that certainly was not from 21st century America.

"Welcome to the Infinite Consortium, darling. I don't believe we've met."

[deathtofrendo]

Well. Quinn couldn't argue with that. She turned to give the person speaking a hollow smile -- then paused, blinking.

That was a whole look.

"Fitting store name," she said idly. "I'm Quinn. I guess I'm not technically new around here anymore."

There were other newer people, now! But also she knew like, three people on the island so far, and one of them was the guy who'd sewn her toes back on. So.

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana did nothing by halves, darling, and that included #aesthetic.

"Liliana Vess," she said, skipping both at your service because she certainly was not, and pleasure to meet you because that remained to be seen. "Clearly I have been neglecting my social life if I can't even recognize somebody not new, even if only by a technicality."

Perhaps she'd show up while Liliana had been off in Innistrad? Seemed plausible.

"And what brings you into the store today? Horrified curiosity is, I assure you, a valid reason. It was certainly my reaction to unpacking it today."

[deathtofrendo]

"Yeah," Quinn said. "That. Probably." She shook her head idly. "It's just a strange kind of day. And this is a strange kind of shop."

She didn't sound put out by that, but, well. Her default tone these days was "blase", if not downright "blank", so that wasn't really a surprise.

[deathsmajesty]

"Indeed it is," Liliana agreed. "It's a shop full of magical artifacts...more of an overflow shop, actually. We get deliveries of artifacts and sell them to you, the curious customer."

She waved a hand over towards the aisles of shelves. "Feel free to look around if you'd like. Your first purchase comes with a free magic blade."

Because Liliana was truly a generous woman and not at all because the store was up to its eyebrows in magical sword, knives, daggers, and other pointy things.

[deathtofrendo]

Quinn gave her a faintly suspicious look at that.

"Magic . . . how?"

It would be just her luck to get a free cursed blade.

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana paused. "That is an incredibly vague question to attempt to answer," she said thoughtfully. "Hmm. I'd say 'the blade was crafted with magic in it, either as a component to improve it, or as an ability that the wielder can use' is likely the best answer I can offer, though if you want a better one, ask a more specific question."

[imafuturist]

Tony did not have food or a twenty dollar bill, but he did have ideas. And those were probably the sort that will end at least one universe when combined with Liliana, honestly.

So that counted for something.

"That's... an interesting helmet."

[deathsmajesty]

"Isn't it, though?" Liliana replied. "It looks like the kind of thing that someone would wear if their epithet was 'Eater of Worlds' or something equally ridiculous."

Okay Death's Majesty.

"Hello, Tony darling. What brings you here today?"

[imafuturist]

"Oh no, that helmet is purple," Tony said like it was a normal response to have. "And very, very big."

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana raised an eyebrow. "Speaking from experience?"

[imafuturist]

Sometimes Marvel was just magical.

"Guy... being, I guess. Named Galactus. Looked like a very large, purple armored man to us, but apparently he looks like whatever your species is able to fathom."

Stole Liliana's color and everything too!

[deathsmajesty]

She was already planning on killing him! Because how dare.

"Ugh," she said, rolling her eyes. "I've had my fill of plane-destroying entities, thank you. Last month was quite enough of that."

[imafuturist]

"Oh? This your trip home I heard about on radio?" Tony asked, leaning on something that hopefully wouldn't kill him.

[deathsmajesty]

Well, it wasn't the ambush chair, so odds were good it wouldn't be an instant death, at least.

"Indeed," Liliana said with a sigh. "My idiot ex managed to release three plane-devouring creatures called the Eldrazi and rounded up only two of them, while the third managed to somehow slip away."

Only Jace could lose a creature the size of a city. Emrakul had probably slipped out while he was busy bleating his innocence in the whole matter.

"So he came to my door, asking if I could tell him how to get in touch with an acquaintance of mine who happened to be one of the three people who had bound the creatures the last time they'd been out. And, of course, Ignis heard 'missing world-devouring entity' and decided that he had to get involved, and one thing led to another until there I was, spending my Saturday raising an army of undead and fending the creature off while Jace, Ignis, and the rest of Jace's merry band of do-gooders figured out how to stop it once and hopefully for all."

She had been so inconvenienced, Tony. So inconvenienced.