Needful Things, Tuesday

[knightinshinarmor]

The cats had decided that tagging along with Remy to work was The Thing To Do apparently. And Remy wasn't doing a whole lot to dissuade them. They'd done alright last week, after all. They'd probably be fine this time, too.

"Lucifer!" Remy barked. "What are you eating?!"

Lucifer (the cat) hunched over, further hiding what he was chewing on from sight. Oliver, perched on Remy's shoulder, whined. Was he telling on his brother? Jealous of his brother? Who knew?

". . . Merde," Remy said, looking around. "Figaro! Figaro, where'd you get off to? Figaro!"

He was probably going to have to try and set this boundary a little more firmly in the future.

[open!]

Comments

[totalwildcard]

"What the fuck is with the racket?"

When she emerged from the back room, Harley was looking all kinds of groggy, wearing a worn down novelty tee at least two or three sizes too big for her, some pajama shorts, and what looked like the remnant's of the previous night's (actually Sunday night's) makeup smeared around her face.

Someone had definitely just now woken up.

[knightinshinarmor]

"See, mes amis?" Remy told the cats. "Now you've woken chef!"

Lucifer bolted past Harley with something shiny in his mouth. Oliver climbed on top of Remy's head.

Figaro had still not shown his little white face.

[totalwildcard]

And why would he? There were just so many excellent nooks and crannies all over the store!

Harley made an unsuccessful attempt at blocking Lucifer's way with her foot. "Get back here, fur ball, unless ya wanna be hyena food!"

[knightinshinarmor]

Lucifer had been on far too many adventures around the Marvel universe to fall for a simple foot.

Oliver, front paws tidily crossed on Remy's head, his hind paws and butt still on his shoulder, tail flicking idly about, let out another soft "mew" -- of approval, Remy would guess -- as Lucifer trotted happily over to the sales desk with his prize.

"They were better behaved, last week," Remy said, resigned.

[totalwildcard]

"Last week?" Harley questioned. "That's why it smelled like cat? I thought maybe someone dropped off all of some little old lady's earthly possessions again."

[knightinshinarmor]

Remy shrugged. "They have minds of their own, chef. And I'm not convinced one of 'em isn't hiding thumbs."

[totalwildcard]

Harley made a face.

And then a different, more considering kind of one.

"Did they want snacks?"

[knightinshinarmor]

Remy tried to look at the cat half-perched on his head. "Oliver? Snacks?"

Oliver closed his eyes and purred.

"Oui," Remy said. "They always want snacks."

The thing that Lucifer was trying to eat made a crinkling noise.

[totalwildcard]

Harley pointed a very serious, accusatory finger at Lucifer as she headed for a nearby antique secretary desk. "You, stop eatin' that!" she admonished. It ain't gonna be fun trying to get it to come out the other end, you know!"

[knightinshinarmor]

Remy grimaced, trailing a respectful distance behind Harley.

"Lucifer," he said. "Drop it, boy."

Figaro leaped off a high shelf to pounce on Oliver. Who was still basically on Remy's head.

"Ack!"

[totalwildcard]

"Ha!"

Sorry-not-sorry if that came out sounding far too gleeful and completely lacking in compassion.

"Now that move deserves a treat!"

Harley dropped the hinged writing surface of the desk dowm, so that she could reach into one of the small drawers there, and retrieve a bag of what appeared to be, yes, cat treats.

And no, not antique ones.

[knightinshinarmor]

Remy had put up with worse things that made the women in his life laugh.

“You keep treats in there?” he asked, nonplussed. He managed to get the dueling cats back off his head, in no small part because all three were now intent on that drawer she’d just opened. “No wonder they like this place. Even with Bruce about.”

[totalwildcard]

"Of course I do!" Harley replied, as if it was obvious. She shook the bag of treats in the general direction of the cats, like the horrible tease that she was, then gestured at the desk. "Bruce doesn't write."

Sure, that was why they were safe in there. Perfectly logical!

[knightinshinarmor]

“Ah. Naturellement.” Remy had learned — a little — when not to argue. He watched his cats swarm around Harley, meowing like they had never received a single treat in their lives. “Bruce eats cat treats?”

[totalwildcard]

"Oh, Bruce eats everything," Harley told him, as she fished a treat (or several) out of the bag. "Including cat treats!"

She crouched down to her meowing audience, treats safely in her fist for now.

"Now, which of you little furry fuckers is gonna be a good little furry fucker, huh?"

[knightinshinarmor]

Oliver -- the gray one -- stood on his hind legs, front paws stretched out to try to catch Harley's wrist. Lucifer -- orange -- circled her feet, meowing urgently. And Figaro -- white -- eyed the desk to see if maybe he could jump up and get to the treats himself.

"Yeah," Remy said. "They're not real known for their politeness."

[totalwildcard]

Harley glanced up at him like he was a child that knew nothing. "Good thing that it ain't got nothin' at all to do with politeness, then!" she said.

And then picked Oliver at random to bestow some treats upon.

(First. She was still holding on tight to the bag with her other hand.)

[knightinshinarmor]

She knew that just meant that all three cats would start trying to grab her arms, right? Because that was 100% what was now happening, Lucifer still meowing up a storm.

"Careful with those claws, petites," Remy told the cats, wincing slightly. "This isn't attack kitty time."

Attack kitty time was he teased them by petting their bellies and they tried to disembowel his arms. It was adorable.

[totalwildcard]

There was a giant hyena upstairs. Harley wasn't too bothered by kitty claws anymore.

She was also kind of ignoring Remy (sorry, Remy) in favor of snickering and holding the treat bag aloft, above her own head, as she got more treats out of it and went to distribute them among all the meowing. "See, you're all so good!"