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Infinite Consortium, Monday

There were a number of broken bottles, mirrors, and various and sundry items around the store today. And also one necromancer currently having fun with the day's most recent shipment. The thunder lasso she had received was a great deal of fun to play with. Not only did it make her stronger and tougher when she equipped it, but with a quick flick of her wrist, she was lassoing things over and knocking them done with ease.

The haunted armor did not appreciate being used for practice, but was also used to its lot in life as it once again picked itself up off the ground. Just to once again feel the lariat slide over its shoulders and--CRASH! Yup. Once again ~~tapped~~ prone on the ground.

"All right, all right, I'll put this away in the window," Liliana said. "You've got a lot to clean up around here anyway."

The haunted armor once more pushed itself up to its feet. No lasso. Went to the cleaning closet. No lasso. Grabbed a broom. No lasso. Started to sweep--

Lasso.

Once more it went crashing to the floor as Liliana laughed. "Couldn't resist," she said with a brilliant grin, before skipping off to the desk, leaving the haunted armor to start the whole process all over again.

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Don was just out for a walk and thought he'd pop in at Liliana's shop. He hadn't ever really gotten the chance to look around, and who knew what was in there?

He had probably not been subconsciously summoned by any thunder-themed weapons in the vicinity, but who could say?

"Hello?"

"Don, darling, hello!" Liliana said, her voice bright and cheerful and full of poorly repressed mischief. She'd been having a delightful day thus far. Perhaps there was something to thunder-based weapons after all, who knew? "Welcome back to the Infinite Consortium. Looking for anything specific, darling?"

"Nothing in particular," Don assured her. "More...curious, I suppose. You sound like you're having fun," he observed.

Thunder-based weapons were clearly superior.

Maybe when they didn't have some kind of moral superiority complex built into them.

"Oh yes," she said. "I've been playing with today's shipment." She held up the lariat, still crackling with yellowish energy. "The Infinite Consortium is quite quality conscious that way."

Don't believe her, Don. Not even a little bit.

Fun fact! Because of his unique relationship to Mjolnir, Don could neither lift nor not lift the hammer, so his worthiness was a 'Schrodinger's cat' type of situation.

"Huh," he said as he observed the lariat. "That's a familiar look." Mjolnir's lightning was more white, though.

Liliana was quite comfortable with the fact that Mjolnir would laugh if she brought her hand anywhere even near it.

"A thunder lasso," she said, offering it to him. "It shoots a bit of lightning through the body of whatever you attack with it, causing them to stiffen up and fall over. Care to try it for yourself, darling?"

Hm, Thor said somewhere in the back of Don's mind.

"Well," Don said as he reached out to take it, "I must admit to a bit of familiarity with lightning," ha, "but I've never used a lasso before, so...please don't laugh at me?"

Upon equipping it, Don might notice that he was a little sturdier than normal, not much but juuuust enough to be noticeable. A little steadier, with a little less pain. "Don't you trust me, darling?" Liliana said, giving him a smile that offered exactly zero reassurance on that front.

A suit of armor loudly trundled out from between the shelves and stood a few yards away from Don. If a suit of armor had body language, the suit's would be 'resigned to its fate.'

"I'm sure you'll be marvelous, darling." She leaned in to brush a soft kiss over Don's cheek, if he let her. "For luck."

Actually, the lariat couldn't miss unless the armor invoked one of several very specific defenses, none of which it had, but shh. When had something Don didn't know ever come back and bite him in the ass?

Oh, never. Certainly had never resulted in several years in the void of nonexistence.

Don accepted the kiss because why would he ever not? He was but a red-blooded human constructed out of magic. "Huh," he said as he looked down at the lariat in his hand. Did his knee hurt less now? Interesting. His wrist wanted to make the motion that he would have done with Mjolnir to shoot lightning at a target, but he suspected that wouldn't work. "Here goes nothing..."

That would have been a very bad throw without magic in the mix, Don.

CRASH.

The lasso flung out, heading towards the armor as if it were magnetized. It coiled around the suit, flared once, and down the armor went with a magnificent clatter. Liliana laughed and cheered for him. "There you go, darling! I told you that you could do it."

Because of the magic in the lariat specifically, but she was graciously not mentioning that.

"That was magic, wasn't it?" Don asked her.

It was not his first time at the magic rodeo, Liliana.

Ha. Rodeo.

"It is fun, though."

"Of course it's magic, darling; everything I sell is magic," Liliana said, amused. "But, yes, there are very few circumstances wherein that lasso can miss. How do you think I've been managing it? My experience with ropes and knots does not extend to lassos, I assure you."

The armor groaned to its feet and stood ready, should Don wish to go again.

Don smiled and held the lariat out for Liliana to take back. "We'd make poor cowboys," he joked.

"A pity how I must give up on that most cherished dream," Liliana drawled, taking the lasso and coiling it back up before she placed it in the display window.

Thunder Junction had not yet been ~~colonized~~ populated, so she couldn't even make a joke about that.

"I suppose I shall have to take refuge in my next most desired future: motherhood."

"Never really thought about it myself," Don drawled, even though obviously he wasn't about to be anyone's mother.

Well. He and Thor had apparently had a kid in some alternate universe, but he was trying really hard not to think about how that worked, especially since said kid had been apparently terrified of him.

"Oh, it was part of the expectations of me, back when I was a girl in my father's house," Liliana said cheerfully. "I let that behind with everything else and quite gladly."

Her children hadn't been terrified of her, just resentful of how absent and uncaring she was. Which was, you know, just fine.

"I am not what anyone thinks of when they speak of mothers, nor would I wish to be."

Well...not what anyone thinks of, discounting certain parts of the internet.

"I never had the time," Don said. "Not that some surgeons let that stop them." See also: resentful of how absent and uncaring their parents were. "And then I was Thor and I had even less time, so." He shrugged, then tilted his head and realized, "And I imagine it would have confused the succession of Asgard."

"Perhaps you should consider it," Liliana said. "Asgard is no longer an issue, and it's not like the child wouldn't have a father even those times you're not around." She was assuming Thor would be onboard which, yes, might be a mistake. "I'm certainly not suggesting you do it, but actually thinking about whether or not it's something you want? Nothing wrong with that."

"Maybe," Don allowed. "I don't know. It wouldn't be in the cards anytime soon, by any stretch of the imagination." Maybe he would just be an uncle figure whenever Thor and Sif got around to producing an heir, if he was still around then.

"So you and Ignis aren't thinking kids?" He was envisioning tiny goths. Like ~~meta for~~ Wednesday Addams.

Liliana grimaced. "Not even a little bit," she said. "Darling, I am selfish and spoiled and demanding of attention, I don't need to create my own rival. Besides, what about me says responsible?" She gestured towards herself, in case Don had forgotten who she was.

"That doesn't even take into account the limitations of post-Mending Planeswalking. I don't know what would happen to the child and I'm disinclined to find out."

Don considered pointing out that owning a business and holding down a teaching position seemed pretty responsible to him, but he didn't want to come off as That Guy, so he just held up one hand (the other, of course, was holding his walking stick) and said, half-laughing, "All right. I'm not trying to talk you into anything. I don't think I have such powers of persuasion, anyway."

He was crafted based on the wrong son of Odin for that.

Also, her class and her business took up only a few hours between them. She was no expert, mind, but she was pretty sure that a child required more attention and care than that.

"Oh, don't worry, darling. It's not one of those things that I could be." She reached out to press her hand against Don's cheek. If he allowed the contact, he'd be able to feel just how cold she was. Not just 'I've been in AC too long' cold, but more like...room temperature. Corpse cold, though her had would begin to warm as it absorbed his heat. "I'm inhospitable to life in a number of ways."

She sounded pleased by it.

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Infinite Consortium, Monday

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NFB

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