Pick Your Poison, Wednesday

[witchoftheflesh]

The phone was ringing off the hook today, but the conversations were more and more confusing.

"Is my refrigerator running?" he repeated. "What fridge? Do you mean the one in my Grove or the one here in the shop? Hello?"

"Do I have Prince Albert in a can? What's that? Is that some kind of body wash? Hello? Hello?"

"You're looking for...you said his first name was Ollie? Last name Tabooger? Excuse me, is there a Mr. Tabooger in the store? Mr. Tabooger? No, I don't think that there's anyone here by this name. Have you tried--hello?"

This is what happens when you were raised in a forest with a coven that pretty universally hated April Fools. You spent the whole day bewildered.

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[thatwaslucky]

It was one of those weeks where Rey had stopped off at the Perk before coming here, so she arrived with pastries.

"Busy day?" she asked.

[witchoftheflesh]

"Yeah," Adrian said, taking a pastry in one hand and pulling Rey in for a kiss with the other. "The phone keeps ringing off the hook, but with the weirdest calls."

[thatwaslucky]

Forgive her if she stayed close for a moment. Habit.

"What kinds of calls?"

[witchoftheflesh]

An excellent habit he was in no real hurry to help her break, honestly.

"All sorts of them," he said, genuinely flabbergasted. "I'm wondering if there's something wrong with the phones today? A lot of people calling looking for other people, or asking about appliances or whatnot. I've tried my best to help people, but I'm not really getting anywhere."

[thatwaslucky]

"It could be one of those days where the phones act up, but I haven't gotten any calls..." she said.

[witchoftheflesh]

"Days when the phones act up?" Adrian asked, now very lost.

[thatwaslucky]

"Sometimes the phone lines get crossed," she explained. "Texts and calls don't end up going to the right person. Very annoying."

And then everyone conveniently forgot that this happened the next time it did.

[witchoftheflesh]

So weird how that forgetting happened every year!

"Does it just happen to one person at a time...?" he asked, looking at the shop phone like that might just up and tell him it was malfunctioning.

[thatwaslucky]

"It's everyone," she said, and then, "Wait, what day is it?"

[witchoftheflesh]

"The first of April," Adrian said promptly. "Thirty days before Beltane. Does...the phone thing happen on a schedule?"

[thatwaslucky]

"April Fool's Day," she said, with clear disdain for it. "They're most likely prank calls."

[witchoftheflesh]

"April Fool's Day?" Adrian asked. See, he'd referenced a perfectly well-known holiday with Beltane. April Fools was clearly some weird, niche holiday barely anyone knew about.

[thatwaslucky]

"It's a pointless day. People play jokes on each other, for some reason?" she said, and shrugged. "It's one of those holidays I'll never understand."

[witchoftheflesh]

Adrian wrinkled his nose and looked at the phone again. "These jokes have not been particularly funny," he sighed.

[thatwaslucky]

"Maybe let the phones go for the rest of the day," Rey advised, reaching up to give him a kiss. "What's Beltane?"

[witchoftheflesh]

"May Day!" Adrian said with obvious enthusiasm. "A welcome of summer, with the May Queen and the Green Man! It's one of our greatest holidays--I meant to ask, do you wish to come and celebrate? Though as a warning, it can get, ah. Rather hedonistic. It's a celebration of growth and fertility. But there are no expectations of that, of course. Or requirements."

So, you know, even if Rey didn't attend Beltane, she didn't need to worry how he'd end up celebrating.

[thatwaslucky]

She trusted him even without that part.

"I would," she said, smiling.

And then quickly had to check, "How hedonistic?"

[witchoftheflesh]

Adrian coughed a bit. "Ah, well. It is a fertility ritual. So there's a lot of people breaking of and heading off into the rest of the forest to celebrate. So depending on where you go, odds of you at least hearing people having a great time is...pretty high, actually."

Jonathan Coulton had written a fairly accurate song about the first of May, in fact!

"If you end up even closer than just hearing, you'll likely get an invitation to join in, or at least watch, if you'd like. You as in the general-you, but also you're beautiful, so also the specific-you, I'm sure."

[thatwaslucky]

"I will not be doing that," she said, so, so immediately. "It kind of sounds like advanced pollen."

And she got through those!

Actually it was way easier when you had a hot boyfriend right there.

[witchoftheflesh]

"I didn't think you would," Adrian assured her hastily. "And like I said, no expectations of that from anyone. No expectations of anything at all, really; that goes against everything we believe in."

[thatwaslucky]

"I'm not worried about that," Rey said with a small smile. "You won't even let me be cold too long. And I've met your family, I can't see anyone pressuring me into anything."

[witchoftheflesh]

"I can promise, pressuring people is literally against our religion," he said, and then laughed. "Well, mine and Mom's anyway. It's kind of a hobby for Aunt Lydia, but I promise not like that."

[thatwaslucky]

"I think I'd just assume she was trying to keep me on my toes," Rey admitted, and paused. "So have you... participated in all of that?"

It was solely curiosity. She figured she couldn't be bothered about anything before her.