Inside Black Books bookshop

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

Prop. B Black, esq. All secondhand books - bought and sold. (if you're lucky)

Coughing and spluttering can be heard from the indeterminate blanketed shape on the sofa. There is a bottle of wine (unopened, with the corkscrew laid jauntily next to it) on the floor next to the couch, and a packet of cigarettes (crumpled) balanced carefully on top of what looks like a ham sandwich (crustless, with possibly the *slightest* hint of a green blush) on the scratched leather of the arm.


Oh GOD.....

Is it the weekend yet?

*flings off blanket. lights up around several hacking coughs*

*checks to see the door is still locked. staggers around to desk and collapses in chair*

*fumbles around on table for wineglass. Tips glass over, ejecting 3 fagends and 1 bluebottle (comatose)*

*thinks*

...
...
...

*eyes bottle of wine, still sitting on floor next to couch*

MANNY!

...
...
...

MAN...where the hell is my assistant? Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?

*beleaguered sigh*

Comments

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

Manny wanders over from Fran's shop. He looks in through the door and realises that Bernard is awake. His eyes widen in shock. He unlocks the door and comes in.

Bernard! You're awake!

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

Where've you been?

*stares belligerently in your direction, then leans forward, wielding the glass somewhat dangerously*

Pass me the wine. And get me some breakfast. And see if the thing under the bed needs feeding while you're at it, I haven't heard a murmur from it in days.

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

Manny rushes to pick up the wine and corkscrew. He opens the wine and pours a healthy glassful into Bernard's glass. He runs into the kitchen.

He emerges from kitchen with a huge oversized cup and saucer filled with beans, sausages and the like. Two triangular pieces of toast rest on the saucer: a fried egg balances uncertainly on top. He presents it to Bernard.

He runs over to the windowsill, picks up a large bunch of under-ripe bananas and disappears into the kitchen once more. Footsteps are heard receding upstairs.

[Halfway upstairs] Bother, didn't mention Paige and the job. *resolves to mention it shortly*

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

Bernard looks critically at the glass of wine, takes a large gulp, and then pours the rest of the bottle into the breakfast, tipping the egg and toast into the mix. He stirs vigorously for a few seconds with a toothbrush retrieved from the cash register.

There is a blissful meditative silence as food is consumed.

Bernard leans back and lights up again (overcoming a brief moment of confusion resulting in singed toothbrush bristles), and treasures the complete absence of anything resembling a customer

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

Bernard comes down from the bedrooms. His shirt is torn and a bananaskin is draped across one shoulder. He glares at Bernard as he picks up the breakfast things. He goes into the kitchen, there is a clattering noise from the sink. He emerges, goes and sits on the sofa. He picks up a book, glances idly at a couple of pages, replaces it. He takes a deep breath.

Bernard -- I met a girl.

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

Bernard has his nose buried in a book. He makes no immediate reaction to Manny's statement except to flap his hand vaguely in Manny's direction. Or he could be swatting at a fly, hard to tell.

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

Bernard's attention is now fully taken up with the newcomer to the shop, and it's obvious he hasn't processed a word Manny has said. Looking past the strange new figure in white, Bernard lifts an accusatory finger at Manny

Why wasn't I informed there was a *new bookshop* in town? (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandomtownies/10309.html?thread=556101#t556101) If you weren't already working for free I'd dock your pay.

*thinks*

actually, right, let's make that a tenner you owe me for negligence then

*scribbles something down on a scrap of paper and stows it in the cash register with a loud 'ding'*

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

Manny's attention is fully taken up with the girl he's talking about, and it's obvious he hasn't processed a word Bernard has said. Running to Bernard's side, he bends down to speak urgently into his ear.

She's wonderful, Bernard. And I told her you'd let her work here. And she really likes me.

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

She? *is puzzled*

*gestures*, it's not a she, it's a he, and why on earth would he want to work here (even if I was hiring, which I'm NOT, because the last time I did I got YOU, and frankly I don't think I can take that kind of trauma a second time), he's got his own obviously incredibly inferior establishment to look after....

*stares at Manny in bewilderment*

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

Manny turns to look at the figure to whom Bernard was gesturing.

The figure reaches over and touches Bernard's head.

Manny looks back at Bernard. he looks different now, somehow.

Bernard? This was someone else, a girl who came to the shop yesterday. She just wants some experience in a bookshop, she'll be no trouble, I'll look after her, it'll be fine, I'll ...

His voice trails off. He has no idea how to read the expression now on Bernard's face.

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

Bernard smiles beatifically. It looks like he's undergone some sort of ... religious conversion? That's not quite it, but that's the closest expression that will approximate.

He's staring fixedly at the other occupant of the shop. He flaps a weak hand vaguely in Manny's direction, still obviously not paying him any attention

Sure, whatever....whatever you want.....

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you Bernard, thankyouthankyouthankyou she's lovely.

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

*Aziraphale steps away from Bernard and offers his hand to Manny, accompanied by another cheerful smile*

"Lovely day, isn't it? I'm Mr. Phale. I run the rare book shop down the street. (pauses and then smiles yet again) Paige seems like a very nice girl."

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

She's a very nice girl.

*Reaches out and takes the visitor's hand*

[pathetic30plus.livejournal.com]

*Fran throws the door open and yells*

Some little slut bitch daughter of Satan stole MY Job!

*Fran leaves*

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

startled, Bernard drops his book in the remains of his breakfast. He curses loudly and then wipes the book clean on his trousers, and carries on reading

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

*Aziraphale opens the door to the shop and looks around. Spotting the current inhabitants, he casts them a bright smile and walks in*

"Good morning! Lovely weather, isn't it? I thought I ought to get acquainted with my neighbors. My name is A- Mr. Phale. I operate the other bookshop, down the street. *holds out a hand toward Bernard, then notices his current state* Er, are you...unwell?"

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

*glowers*

*GOOD* morning? It's a good morning? Where?

Bernard stares distastefully at the...oh god...*cheerful* figure standing before him. He doesn't move to shake the proffered hand, and his face is blank for a little while as his brain processes the words 'operate', 'other', and 'bookshop', with which this intruder has chosen to assault him

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

*Aziraphale leans closer to Bernard and peers into his eyes*

(murmurs to self) A bit hungover, I think.

*He reaches out and lightly touches Bernard on the head. Bernard feels momentarily...odd, and then completely sober.*

(another cheery smile) "Better?"

[grumpy-sod.livejournal.com]

the look on Bernard's face is something akin to rapture. A dopy smile spreads visibly through his system.

I haven't felt like this since...since...*he concentrates for a second*...1974...

he reaches out and grabs Aziraphale's hand, pumping it vigorously, a fatuous smile on his face

Welcome to the neighbourhood. Yes...another bookshop, you say? Fine, fine. *still shaking hands*

What...what did you do to me?

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

"...Do? Ah, er, well..."

*removes his hand from Bernard's after some vigorous handshaking, and pats Bernard's shoulder*

"Thank you so much. It does seem to be a very...interesting neighborhood. You must come by my shop sometime for tea."

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

*He smiles again at everyone, although the smile may be just a little bit less cheery, and shakes hands again all around.*

"I must be off. I do want to meet the other neighbors. Cheerio!"

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

*Paige drops by the shop on the way to the pub*

*She walks in and looks round for Manny*

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

*Aziraphale turns when Paige enters and offers her his hand*

"You must be Paige. Delightful to meet you. Lovely day, isn't it?"

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

*Paige takes his hand and smiles*

Nice to meet you too. Yes it's a great day, I just took a walk in the park, there was a man coming out of a box, only having enroled at the school it doesn't really seem that odd!

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I saw that. This is an interesting town, isn't it!"

*realizes he hasn't introduced himself*

"Oh, I beg your pardon. I'm Mr. Phale. I run the rare books shop down the street. Mr. Black and I were just having a very nice discussion about our shops." (smiles toward Mr. Black, who looks like he just experienced something odd but pleasant)

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

*Paige looks at Bernard* I've never seen him like that before, last time I met him he was drunk and babbling.

So do you have any magic books? The ones here aren't very good and as you can see they're pretty difficult to find as well *Paige gestures at the dusty piles of unbalanced books*

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

*Aziraphale looks a bit surprised at Paige's request for 'magic books'*

"Ah, well, erm...Magic books really aren't something one often finds simply lying around in bookshops you know. Quite rare, you see. And dangerous. Yes, very dangerous. One really oughtn't..." (peers more closely at Paige) "Ah, yes, I see. Well. I suppose I could possibly order something for you. Possibly."

*He smiles again at everyone, although the smile may be just a little bit less cheery, and shakes hands again all around.*

"I must be off. I do want to meet the other neighbors. Cheerio!"

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

Thanks Mr Phale, and don't worry I can't do anything dangerous, I'm more interested in the theory than the practice at the moment

[a-phale.livejournal.com]

Well, do come by the shop sometime, and we'll see we can do.

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

*Manny emerges from the kitchen*

Hello Paige! I sorted out the magic books in a pile here ...

*He gestures towards the table, where Bernard is still smiling. The magic books are nowhere to be seen.*

*Manny finds the magic books in a heap on the floor under the table, where they are liberally smeared with breakfast. He yelps, and gathers up the books in his arms. He disappears back into the kitchen. From the shop can be heard the sound of a tap being turned on, followed by fearsome grinding, bubbling and knocking noises from the plumbing. It's clear that no-one in the kitchen could possibly hear voices from the shop.*

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

*Paige calls into the kitchen*

Thanks Manny!