Sunday Mass

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Ladies and Gentlemen - few would deny
that the Catholic Church has fallen behind somewhat
in the times. Catholicism usually strikes the
average person as an old-fashioned remedy for the
ills - both moral and psychological - of a society
that has since left it's stringent rules and ornate
rituals on the heap with 45's and eight track
cassettes. And in an effort to disprove that, the
Church has appointed this year as a time of renewal,
both of faith and of style. So, it is with great
pleasure, that I present you and your parish - mere
days away from it's centennial celebration - and
the continental United States, via Satellite with
the first of man revamps that the 'Catholicism -
Wow!' campaign will unveil over the next year.

Now, what does this mean for the average churchgoer?
Are we going to throw out the rule book and adopt
a hippie mentality in regards to our faith? No.
We're simply talking about a few minor alterations
to both the aesthetic and theoretical aspects of a
religion that boasts one of the highest membership
numbers on the planet.”

He smiles

“So what are we talking about
here. Well, for example...
(pulls out crucifix)
while it has been a time-honored and traditional
symbol of our faith, we have decided to retire the
highly recognizable, yet wholly depressing symbol
of our Lord, Jesus Christ, crucified. Why? Well,
look at it. Would you relish being a member of a
group that uses a man nailed to two pieces of wood
as it's masthead? Of course not - who would? I've
got enough downers in my daily routine without
having to deal with this visual every time I go to
worship. Instead, the church is going to adopt
this new, more soothing and inspiring sigil, which
we feel is in-line with our new outlook."



"See? Isn't this better? How could you not feel
just great walking into a church and seeing this
behind the priest - a positive reinforcement that
whatever we do, God thinks is 'a-okay'. I love this
thing, it's so...

C'mon people, we're here to talk about this little guy - your friend
and mine... the happy Jesus. Can't you just see
it on chains around people's necks, and as the
new background in avant garde, MTV videos?"

[[Props to Kevin Smith and Dogma for church today. Mass: now with Buddy Christ.]]

Comments

[sheltered-texan.livejournal.com]

Fred walked into the church quietly, walking down the center aisle she knelt for a moment and made the sign of the cross before taking her seat. Her rosary beads wrapped in her hand as she sat back in the seat. She didn't see anyone else there but this was her first time attending mass since coming to Fandom, she really needed to start coming regularly.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

CJ sits in the front, her eyebrow arched. She's beginning to wonder if she'll ever attend a normal, standard Mass in this town.

She finds herself missing the Catholic Hokey Pokey, what with the standing and the kneeling and the genuflect-when-you-say-that-fella.

After the cruton of Christ, she makes her way out of the church, seeing who else showed up this week.

[sheltered-texan.livejournal.com]

Fred glanced up and smiled at the teacher. She was waiting for the closing prayer before she left.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

CJ stopped at the doors of the church to make a donation and say hello to people.

[sheltered-texan.livejournal.com]

After the closing prayer, Fred stands once again, kneeling down as she leaves she crosses herself and walks to the back, her donation in hand. In the back at the donation box she smiles again at the teacher. "Hi, nice mass today."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

"It was...yeah. I haven't seen you here before. I'm CJ, welcome to church." She smiles warmly and extends her hand.

[sheltered-texan.livejournal.com]

Fred shakes her hand happily "Winnifred Burkle, Fred actually. No I, well I decided with the New Year new semester and all that I would get back into church on a regular basis you know." Fred glances at the Buddy Christ "Is it always this um, interesting?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

"Good for you, Fred. That's a fantastic resolution." she chuckles softly, looking at the statue. "Around here, this is tame, actually. The Christmas Mass...now that was something. And our old priest was, um, unique."

[sheltered-texan.livejournal.com]

Fred smiled "I can imagine, Father Joseph, my priest back home, well...he was a cross between To Wong Foo's cross dressers and a regular priest. I think he wore fake eyelashes." Fred moved her hands in a nervous fashion "Oh that was a terrible thing to say about my priest." Fred mumbled a quick prayer. "And right after mass ended, I think I am going to end up in confessional twice before the days out."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

"You'll be talking to the wall, hon. Don't worry about it. Really. We all say things like that." She smiles softly and pats Fred on the shoulder. "So you're a student?"

[sheltered-texan.livejournal.com]

Fred jerked her head in a nervous fashion "Yeah, yes I am. I've seen you up around at the school, which classes do you teach?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

"I'm the speech and communication teacher. In the Humanities wing. What are your favorite subjects, Fred?"

[pflag-mom-deb.livejournal.com]

After Mass, Deb catches up with CJ.

"How are you doing, CJ? Are you feeling okay? Starting to fit back in a little?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

"Hey Deb! Yep, I'm getting back to myself. Ten's been a help, and the doctor said it's all there, I just have to work. Where'd Carl go?"

[pflag-mom-deb.livejournal.com]

Deb shakes her head. "Carl's a little old-fashioned. He was disappointed when they stopped using Latin. Church here has never sat too well with him. This was the last straw." She smiles and puts her hand on CJ's arm. "I'm glad it's still all there and you'll be fine. If there's anything I can do, let me know, okay?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Looking out the doors, as if she might see Carl, she smiles softly. "I get that. That's how my dad was."

Putting her hand over Deb's, she looks into her eyes and smiles. "Actually, there is something. Can I talk business with you for a sec?"

[pflag-mom-deb.livejournal.com]

"Sure, honey, as long as it's honest. Jesus threw the swindlers out. What can I do for you?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

"Completely honest. You know Kadaj and Yazoo and Loz?"

[pflag-mom-deb.livejournal.com]

Deb scowls. "Yes. Unfortunately. We had some trouble with Yazoo a while back."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

"You did? What happened? If you don't mind me asking..."

[pflag-mom-deb.livejournal.com]

"Family trouble," Deb snaps.

Then she softens, remembering, she's dealing with a woman who has lost her memory.

"My son, Michael, runs the Emporium. His husband, Ben, is already feeling kind of out of place. Then one of the little bitches from up at school, Paige, cast a spell on Michael. He wound up fu--" she moderates her language for church, "getting screwed by Yazoo. Damn near ruined his marriage."

[kikidelivers.livejournal.com]

*loves you*

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

*is loved for my laziness*

[kikidelivers.livejournal.com]

Which, I suppose, must be better than just being lazily loved ;-)

[pflag-mom-deb.livejournal.com]

At the unveiling of thr Buddy Christ, Carl stood up and stalked out.
"Never, ever again in this town, honey."

Debbie sat through the rest of the service, completely confused. Fandom Mass was like no other she'd been to, but she couldn't say she hated it.