Friday morning, All and Sundries

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Baldrick! Where is the sign?" Edmund stood outside the store staring up at the space that should have his family coat of arms and the words All and Sundries. Instead, there was a definite dearth of signage and a definite surfeit of snow-filled air.

"I didn't get it up yet, sir. Ow!"

Baldrick rubbed the spot on his backside where Edmund's boot had just contacted.

"We may not have the best weather for opening, but the longer we wait, the more money we're losing. Get the sign up, you dogsbody."



[ooc: Baldrick will generally be an NPC. However, if you're desperate, he'll tell you all about his latest boil. Also, I'll pick an address as soon as possible.]

Comments

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

((squees))

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

((you sir... Are my next boyfriend.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

[ooc: You, my dear, are a bit young, but you appear healthy. Tell me, do you speak? If the answer is "minimally" and I shall carry you upstairs right now.]

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

[[ooc: Oh yes, of all my family I talk the minimallist... Particularly when compared to my great great uncle's 2nd wife from Utaland. You should have heard her! From morning to night! From 6AM to 11PM, yap yap yap all the day long. She'd never stop talking, you couldn't get a word in edgewise, or even slide it under. And she talked fast to! You could hardly tell what she was saying sometimes. Much of the time that didn't matter because what she was saying wasn't very important... But every so often she'd slip a "Oh, look out for that shark" inbetween yammering on about the washing up and ranting about the state of the produce at market. You just never saw a woman so chatty as my great uncle's 2nd wife from Utaland. It was quite remarkable believe you me... You don't have to carry me... I can walk up stairs perfectly well. Like you said, I am very healthy.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

[ooc: Ah yes. Well, my dear, you will find the stairs to my flat in a building three streets over. Please ignore its resemblance to the town brothel. *makes a note to add more locks to the door of his flat upstairs*]

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

[ooc: have I mentioned I'm disgustingly wealthy?

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

[ooc: My dear! Why are you waiting out there in the cold. Do come in. Can I fix you a completely anachronistic roofie some tea?]

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

Tommy trudged through the snow.

"God damn weather," he muttered. "If I wanted this crap I would've stayed up in New York. Jesus Christ."

He stopped as he came near All and Sundries. "Hey," he called out to the two gu... well, one guy and one who the fuck knew? "You open?"

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Yes, despite my serf's servant's ineptitude, All and Sundries is open for your all or sundry needs." Edmund stood aside and waved him toward the interior of the shop.

"How may I assist you today?" Obsequity should be so obsequious. This customer had best have cash if he wishes to see the obsequity continue.

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

"You sell smokes?" Tommy asked. He came closer, but not too close. The so-called servant still looked iffy to him.

[ooc: No worries.]

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Smokes? My good man, what sort of smokes do you require? Something to purge the ill humors from your home, perhaps? One can never be too careful with ill humors."

He waved Baldrick back out into the snow to attempt to finish putting up the sign with the Blackadder family's noble motto, Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos. Truer words were never written.

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

"Something to purge the fresh air from my lungs," Tommy said. He held up a pack of unfiltered Camels that he had in his coat pocket. "I need these and lots of them. Coffee too if you've got it."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Coffee beans are in the back on the shelf next to the hairbrushes and loo-fas. We have none brewed, but I could get Baldrick to make you some."

In the meantime, he rummaged in a box behind the register and pulled out a carton of unfiltered Camels. Keep objects of addiction close. Addicts are untrustworthy.

"Will there be anything else?" Other than a liberal crossing of his palm with silver?

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

Tommy took a long hard look at Baldrick. "Yeah, I think I'll stick with the coffee that doesn't come with shit in it already. You can double up those smokes though."

He went to get coffee beans and picked up a few other food staples along the way. He put it all down on the counter and got out his wallet. Noting the progress with the signage, he said, "So, new in town?"

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"A wise man." News of Baldrick's coffee brewing techniques had apparently preceded them.

He added a second carton of cigarettes to the first and waved a hand mysteriously totaled the man's purchases.

"Yes." Right. Less perceptive than he'd thought to begin with. Or very American in his choice of asking after the obvious. "We arrived just in time for this delightful weather. I was planning on leaving Baldrick outside overnight and using him as a toboggan in the morning.

"And what of you, my fine friend? Are you a resident or a visitor?"

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

Tommy tossed down enough cash to cover the bill. "Both? Working up at the clinic. Arrived just in time for this weather and to find out everyone here is gay. Throw in a parade and a few drug dealers out in the park and it's the god damn east Village."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Cold, hard, cash. This man was now on Edmund's nice list.

"Everyone is gay? How perfectly awful to be in a town filled with nothing but happy people. I'm pleased to see you aren't one of them. It gets wearing very quickly." He handed over his customer's change and packaged everything up.

"But I will know whom to see if we have an emergency. Just do not allow Baldrick to show you the boil on his back if you wish to sleep again this century."

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

"Could always hit it with a fire hose," Tommy offered. He lit up a cigarette now that he'd good a good supply in. He motioned towards the store window. "Hey, mind if I put up a flyer?"

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Paying customer with an addiction equals returning customer equals...

"Of course."

And the fire hose sounded like an interesting idea. Baldrick the ice sculpture might be worth the time.

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

"Thanks." Fortunately Tommy had tape on him too. He hung one of his flyers (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/575419.html) on the store window. "The number goes to my cell. Anybody needs me, they can get me there."

Noticing Balrick again, Tommy added, "Not him though. Whatever's wrong with that guy I can't fix."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"A builder, how convenient. I know whom to call when the inevitable something happens." Edmund made a note of the phone number and looked out the window at Baldrick.

No doubt the only thing keeping the so-called man from hanging the sign upside down was the lack of attachments on the bottom.

"And you are very perceptive about Baldrick. It is my understanding that one look at Baldrick's family tree left Gregor Mendel weeping in abject misery." Or so one of his later-era relatives had mentioned.

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

"You should meet my Uncle Teddy," Tommy replied. He held out his hand to shake. "Tommy Gavin, by the way."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Edmund Blackadder," he said, giving Tommy a somewhat unenthusiastic handshake.

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

If Tommy noticed the lack of enthusiasm in the handshake, he chalked it up to Edmund being gay British so same diff in Tommy's mind, really.

"Nice to meetcha." Tommy gathered up his things. "Better go back out before it gets worse. Thanks for the help, Eddie."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Eddie?

The man was lucky he had cash.

"Yes, I'm sure the pleasure is all yours mine." He waved and went to brew himself a pot of tea.

[ladder62.livejournal.com]

Tommy bundled himself up again, then went to trudge his way back to the Clinic.

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

Walter had been planning to go to the Emporium, on the off chance they were still open, but the sigh for All and Sundries caught his attention and it was closer. Definitely a consideration.

He bypassed the smelly man struggling with a sign over the door and ducked inside to look around.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund looked the young man over. Decent clothing, well-kempt, he probably had money. He could stay.

"How may I assist you, lad?"

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

Walter turned around at the sound of yet another English accent. He was beginning to feel as though leaving England had not actually happened.

"Er... yes, I am looking for a heated quilt... electric blanket? And a heating pad."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"A heated quilt?" Edmund kept his sneer contained. The soft little twit wanted a heated quilt? Maybe he should have just stayed with Mummy instead. He hardly looked old enough to have been weaned.

"I believe that we have those in the first row on the right. Mind the inventory. Baldrick hasn't unpacked everything yet and his organizational system is... nonexistent idiosyncratic."

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

Walter gave the man a not altogether warm look and followed the directions to find the electric blankets stocked on a shelf next to plastic lemons filled with reconstituted lemon juice on one side and feminine hygiene products on the other.

Organizational system?

Right.

He picked out a pair of electric blankets and a heating pad and took them to the counter and the not altogether friendly gentleman manning the cash register.

The cup of tea he was sipping smelled delicious, though.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund plastered a smile on his face. Here was a test of the nurseling. Would he be able to pay? If he did, he would be welcome back and Edmund would put him on his list of people to be polite to.

Otherwise, the boy and Baldrick could bond.

"Did you want the bill in pounds or dollars, young man?"

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

"Dollars, please." Pounds? Why would he be carrying pounds here?

Odd man.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Dollars it is, young sir."

If he hadn't known how much money he had spent on his inventory, he would have been delighted by the size of the bill he presented to the boy.

He waited patiently with his hand out.

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

Walter frowned a bit at the total and gave thanks for sixty years worth of accrued interest before pulling the money out of his wallet and handing it over.

"Just opening, I see. Your timing is good, the Emporium is closing."

Which was a pity, since Michael seemed much nicer than this man.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Oh? The competition was closing? Perfect. He had thought to fill a more specialized niche when coming to Fandom, but general store was probably easier.

"What a pity," he said insincerely, handing his change back to the whelp. But a whelp with money and thus worthy of being treated politely.

"If there is anything you need, do let me know." Making a logical leap that the boy was a student at the school, he mentioned, "And do tell the other students. I can obtain anything any of them may require. For a finder's fee in some cases, of course."

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

"I would be willing to do more than that in exchange for a small fee." Walter found that this man brought out a certain mercenary sensibility in him.

"For a small fee, I will put signs up around town and in the dorms advertising your new business. Would store credit be acceptable?"

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Store credit would be perfect, young man." And cost him less than actual payment.

"I will give you more credit if you make the signs for me. I would do it, but I do not actually care, and Baldrick can neither read nor write."

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

Walter named an amount that seemed fair to him and waited.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund didn't blink, simply countering with a much smaller sum.

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

"Don't be insulting, Mr...?"

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Blackadder. Edmund Blackadder." He raised the sum slightly. "And you are?"

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

"Walter Dornez." Walter countered with a significantly higher amount. "And I will not be doing it for less. I am fast and I am efficient. Or you can count on the man outside who just fell down in the snow with your business' sign pinning him to the ground."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund groaned and waved a hand at Walter. "Right. But you make the signs and I expect to see them everywhere I walk when I have time to tour the town."

He considered leaving Baldrick there to freeze, but he might have to pay a new slave assistant.

"Go on and don't let me see you again until you've plastered this town in advertisements for All and Sundries."

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

Walter took his bags and left, carefully skirting Baldrick on his way out.