All and Sundries, 7/6

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

There is a picnic umbrella set up outside All and Sundries today. Edmund is lounging in a chaise under the umbrella and working on recreating Edmund: A Butler's Tale from memory.

"And then the gypsy girl, lush bosom heaving, threw herself into Edmund's strongly-muscled, manly arms, crying, 'Take me, you beautiful hunk of butler! Take me!'"

He quickly writes that down and shakes his head admiringly. "I am a genius."

All and Sundries is open.

Comments

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River looked at the shop owner and frowned, comparing the image he had of himself in his fantasy and the one she saw in front of her. She also wondered about his taste, considering the gypsy girl and her luscious bosom.

On the other hand she wasn't here for that. She and Pippi needed a blanket for Berthold.

"Hello," she said. "I'm looking for a very big blanket."

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

Pippi flounced down to A&S to meet River. She's happy to be going for shoppies, but deep down she feels really bad for that very nice monochromatic gentleman (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/928059.html?thread=46967099#t46967099) she met in the danger shop. He was so nice, it was really very sad he winked out of existence like that.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund barely glanced away from his paper to the girl addressing him.

"Yes. If you're looking to purchase one, you can go to the back wall next to the clothing and find a selection of blankets. If you find that you are still incapable of such a simple task, follow your nose and Baldrick will assist you."

He looked back down at the page and wrote, Edmund held her against him before turning to the other waiting gypsies girls. "I have made my selection for the night. You others may offer me your virtue tomorrow or the day after."

Fortunately for his writing reverie, he had yet to notice Pippi.

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

"I think you spelled 'heaving' wrong... Or is that just your handwriting?" she asked looking over his shoulder.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"No, it was wrong in his head too," River said.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund glanced up again and glowered at Pippi. Of course the red-haired wench would have to come ruin a perfectly good day. "I'll have you know I once wrote a dictionary. My spelling is beyond reproach. As though you, spawn of a water-logged privateer would understand such things."

He favored both girls with a sneer. "Why, Dr. Samuel Johnson, a man of impeccable taste, called my novel 'a huge rollercoaster of a novel crammed with sizzling gypsies,' and the only book in the world better than his own venture."

Which was a dictionary, but still.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Gypsy girls? Are they some kind of whores?" River asked. It was a perfectly honest question.

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

"Not all Gypsies are whores, some of them do other stuff. And whores or no, I have no doubt that they sizzle Mr. Blackadder. But apparently, they're also 'hiving' as well and I'm not sure that means what you think it means."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Building hives with their heaving bosoms?" River suggested.

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund looked back down at the page for an instant before turning a supercilious sneer on Pippi and River.

"Apparently neither of you are capable of reading proper handwriting. Both too caught up in this new computer age to learn to read, no doubt. A pity, I'm sure. Although I've always been of the opinion that education for girls is unnecessary." Or more likely dangerous, especially those with wee little nosies.

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's obviously not true." she said taking another peek at the page and pointing. "Because somebody would have to teach her how to do that."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Edmund raised an eyebrow. "Alert the media, the pirate girl has had a valid point. We must commemorate the rare event."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River poked Pippi. "There are worse things in his head," she whispered loudly.

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

"He's such a nice man River." she said getting out her cel phone to make a call (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/948136.html?thread=38123176#t38123176). "We shouldn't make fun of his spelling, no matter how bad it is."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"That's true," River said, looking very serious. "We need to find a blanked for Berthold anyway."

"But some of the things in his head aren't anatomically possible. I should know, my brother is a doctor."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Give me that!" Edmund snatched the phone away from Pippi to make a statement of his own (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/948136.html?thread=38125480#t38125480).

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River took the phone from him and added her perspective (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/948136.html?thread=38127016#t38127016).

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

Pippi takes the phone from River if she can and put's it on speaker phone so they all can hear.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River lets her of course.

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

hilarity ensues (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/948136.html?thread=38129064#t38129064).

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Now we need to find a blanket."

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

"Go!" Edmund straightened his papers and glared at the two girls. "And have Baldrick help you if you wish to harass anyone further."

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

"Okay!" Pippi said waving at Blackadder, even though she was standing right next to him. "See ya!"

She opens the door of the shop.

"Let's go find a blanket for Bertie!"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River followed Pippi into the shop, still giggling. "Bertie wants a nice blanket."

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

Pippi and River disappeared into the shop.