fandomtownies | Caritas - Friday [Open]

Entry tags:

$caritas

Caritas - Friday [Open]

The band was playing, Tino was washing glasses, and GOB was practicing card tricks. Just another night at Caritas. Or was it? Yes. Yes, it was.

[OOC: I am home!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Why? This isn't any more annoying than the spreadsheets," GOB declared. "It's just weirder. Did you actually buy a turtle for the protest?"

"Shelby is his own turtle," Willow said, giving GOB a look of 'duh'. "He's here to help out a friend, and because he understands the plight of the downtrodden."

"He doesn't understand anything. He's a turtle," GOB said, showing off his understanding of animal behavior. "You're just a freak who put a sign on him."

"This is exactly the kind of prejudice we're trying to fight against," Willow said, waving her sign about that very topic. "It's because of cruel and thoughtless - though hopefully generous - people like you that poor Shelby is one of the last of his kind, and zombies have no dancing customers to play for!"

"Shelby's endangered and you stole his sign?" Blair shook his head. "Totally bad karma, man. You could probably fix that by putting in a dance floor. Or meditating."

"I ripped the sign in half, too," GOB pointed out. "Get off my floor and maybe I'll put a dance floor on it."

"Really?" Willow asked, looking hopeful.

"No," GOB said, smiling.

Willow looked crushed.

"Look what you've done, you big meanie!" Isabel said, still holding Shelby. "All she wants, all we want is a place to dance. Is that so difficult?" Shaking her head, she asked, "Don't you want a place to dance with your girlfriend?"

"I don't have a wife, I don't have a girlfriend, I'm not going to have a dance floor, I have no interest in dancing with anyone vertically, and you're lopsided," GOB said, glaring with hatred in his eyes.

"Isabel is like the opposite of lopsided, man. She's...um..." Blair had no idea what the opposite of lopsided was and shrugged. "DANCE FLOORS FOR HUMANS AND TURTLES!"

Odd how every glass on the bar near GOB suddenly floated through the air to spill over his head. "I am not lopsided you pervert!"

"You know what? That was worth it," GOB said, dripping wet. "Now get out before I take the turtle and make a turtletini."

Willow's face darkened. "You wouldn't dare."

"On the rocks," GOB said, smiling slightly insanely. "Tino! Get the shell cracker!"

Tino clearly had no clue what the hell GOB was talking about.

"Don't even think about," Isabel glared. "There are worse things then having drinks dumped over your head."

"Like a petition or a sit-in." Blair nodded. "Or a boycott. People aren't going to want to buy drinks from someone who commits turtlecide."

"Or - or I'll tell your mother on you!" Willow said. She knew absolutely nothing about GOB's mother, but it was the first threat that came to her that didn't involve admitting she might not actually know how to banish GOB to a dimension where booze didn't get you drunk.

GOB's eyes may have bugged out slightly at the mother threat. "Fine. No turtle drinks. And no dance floor."

"Fine," Willow said, getting up from the floor. She took Shelby away from GOB. "But only because I respect Shelby's right to work as a coal miner! Unlike some people I could mention!"

"Thank God," GOB said. "Goodbye, kids. Goodbye, turtle. Enjoy your life while you have it."

Willow gathered up her things to leave. "Oh well. At least you had a chance to learn, Shelby."

"Don't worry guys, we'll try again. I know this guy who chains himself to oil derricks, he could give us some tips."

"Sounds like a plan Blair," Isabel said, glaring at GOB one last time. "And I've got some tricks of my own if we need them."

Re: The Bar [7/28]

willbedone.livejournal.com - 2006-07-29 03:09 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only