fandomtownies | All and Sundries

After an unpleasant encounter (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/1263011.html?thread=57448355#t57448355) at Venture Industries, Conner decided that some nutrition-free junk "food" and something sugary to drink sounded like a good idea ~~because for the first time in weeks his player has some free time at work, OMG~~.

He walked into All and Sundries and immediately froze at the sight of glitter. "Oh, no."

"Good day to you sir, please pardon our disarray." Apu said walking up with a broom. "May I assist you in your shopping endevors?"

"As long as that glitter doesn't require kissing," Conner said, still staring at the floor. "I just need some, I don't know, Ding-Dongs? Something chocolatey, and . . ."

He noticed the Squishy machine. "Heyyyyyyyy. One of those would be cool."

Apu looks a little confused by the phrase "boykissy" but brightens up when Connor notices the Squishy machine.

"You are in luck sir, all the glitter and debris has been removed from the vicinity of the products you describe. Please feel free to serve yourself, I must get back to cleaning up the store, don't hesitate to call me when you're ready to check out and come again!"

"Gotcha." Conner hadn't been here in a while, and he was vaguely wondering what had happened to the scary guy who'd used to run the store. But hey, machines that dispensed slushy sugary goodness were a plus in his book.

He picked out the biggest Squishy cup there was and eyed the flavors. Hey, 'Gelatinous Cube' sounded kind of like a funky Jell-O flavor. Ordinarily he'd go for Red, but he was feeling slightly unpredictable today as he put the cup under the spigot and pulled the handle.

. . . and suddenly the thing coming out of the spigot was decidedly not slushy, and looked far-too-freaking-huge to fit in the machine.

"What is that coming out of there?"

Something distintly NOT slushy but very much gelatinous was oozing out of the despenser.

It was transparent, and had edges, and it's actually going to be quite large.

Possibly a 10'x10'x10' cube.

You might want to stand back.

Conner had heard the saying that there was always room for J-E-L-L-O, but he didn't think the marketing campaign had this in mind.

Except he wasn't standing back. He was too busy staring at the thing that was probably going to envelop him any second now.

"What happened to my drink?!?"

"CUBE!" a voice that some how managed to sound wobbly emanated from the cube (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelatinous_cube).

The cube was, in fact, moving forward to envelop Connor. It hit the huge Squishy cup first however. The flimsy plastic melting away as soon as it touched the cube.

"CUBE!"

Hey, Conner was slow sometimes but not quite that slow. If things were melting plastic on contact, it was a good idea to run. especially if they talked to boot.

So yes, this would be Conner letting go of the rapidly melting cup and backing the hell away as fast as possible.

From the front face of the cube, a tendril of... Gelatinous whatever, whipps out to make a grab for Conner.

"CUBE!"

Apu's head pops up over a display he'd been sweeping behind.

"I beg your pardon, but what sort of cube are you looking foooo oh dear."

Conner got snagged by the tendril and, despite struggling valiantly against it found himself very much stuck.

"Oh, this is not good," he said as he started to get dragged around.

"Kindly let go of the paying customer you..."

"CUBE!"

"...Cube?"

"CUBE!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The cube started to chase Apu around the store, picking up debris from the floor and shelves as it went, getting more and more glittery. As it went, it dragged Conner with it as it tried to pull him in.

But between Connor's efforts to get free and the fact that Conner would occasionally smack into something and act as an anchor. Both objectives were slow going.

Great, so now he was stuck to an increasingly glittery cube and seriously in danger of getting sucked into it, not to mention getting a nice collection of bruises. Also? It seemed to be eating through his clothes. Oh crap . . .

"Get me away from this thing!"

~~Please pretend the gun in the icon is a broom handle~~

"Permit me kind sir to ensure that I myself am not devoured or else I think I will be of little use to you." Apu said smacking at the tentriles attempting to get a hold of him.

Lizzy meanwhile has gone into SUPER ROBO GUARD DOG MODE! With his sharp robo-dog teeth he chomps out a chunk of the cube. Once spat out, the chunk shoots out a small tendril into where it came from and sucks itself back up into place where it re-integrates seemlessly.

"CUBE!"

~~Pretending away!~~

"Okay already! I know you're a cube! Geez!" Conner kicked at the cube and watched it eat his shoe. Sort of the way it was really eating its way through his clothes now.

This? Called for Super Flailing Mode. Which would be what Conner was doing about now.

As the shoe floats serenely up to the center of the cube it yells it's name again and wraps another tendrel around Conner's ankle, another goes for an arm.

Apu continues to beat at it with the broom handle and poor Lizzy is now stuck halfway into the thing. Nothing seems to be dissolving on the little metal dog interestingly enough.

Conner did notice that Lizzy was unharmed so far, but he wasn't so sure about himself, especially when he got snagged on the corner of a shelf and and came away with a nice deep gouge across his arm.

"I didn't want to be dinner!" he yelled, kicking at the cube with his other foot and losing that shoe -- and the sock -- as well.

Somehow, his future had flashed before his eyes, and all of it was from the vantage point of the center of that cube.

Conner might not have to wait long to see that in reality as more and more tendrils lash out to grab him and pull him in.

Apu is smacking at the tendrils that are coming after him while trying to make his way around the thing to help Conner.

Lizzy floats around, upside down.

This is about when Jane comes in.

"Okay Apu I dropped it off but WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"

"CUBE!"

And this would be Conner flailing in slow-motion from inside the cube, eyes bugging out as his clothes are actually being eaten by the . . . gelatinousness. Also? His skin was starting to feel really funny.

Somehow, flailing in double-time, when you're encased in gel, still just looks like a leisurely crawl-stroke. Except, in this case, a vertical one.

You know it's going to be a bad day when...

Jane grabs a shovel from a nearby display and starts smacking at the cube, spouting obscenities as little bits of gel spattered all around and melted away.

Blunt metal objects seemed to work best on it.

Apu in the meantime, shoved his broom handle into the thing for Connor to grab.

Conner ~~who had miraculously made all his saves against paralyzation~~ flailed his way toward the broom handle and grabbed hold.

Jane is trying not to whack Connor with the shovel, really.

"FUCK! FUCK FUCKING COCKSUCKERS! THIS THING CAME OUT OF THAT FUCKING CONTRAPTION OF YOURS DIDN'T IT?" Jane yelled at Apu as she swung her shovel.

"Oh dear. I believe this is the last time we agree to be a test market." Apu mutters as he starts to pull Connor free.

"CUBE! CUUUUUUUUUBE!"

And yet Conner probably got clipped a few times ~~having failed his dexterity checks, apparently~~ with said shovel in the process of getting free of the cube. Not that he was complaining too much if it got him out of that cube -- yes, he knew it was a cube already, it could stop saying its name any time now!

There was just one slight problem. His clothes didn't make it out.

He's also probably ready to join the swim team...

"Fuck ow! Fuck! Ow! Fuck!"

Her ribs were never going to heal at this rate.

"Kid get away from it!" Jane grunted. She's to busy smashing the flat of the shovel against the cube to notice or care about Connor's clothes. Or even suggest he stick around for new ones.

The cube is till yelling its name and lashing out at Jane, being the primary source if its pain. ~~Maybe it's a pokemon?~~

Apu pulls Connor out with a very ickky slurping sound.

Conner hit the ground with a grunt and got away from there just as ordered, since he wasn't going to argue with putting distance between himself and the ~~Poke~~cube.

He was gross and slimy and naked (except for his Dino Gem bracelet which had somehow survived) and oh my god it was going to be cold out there.

Not to mention covered in glitter.

Don't forget the glitter!

Jane is angrily questioning Apu about the thing as the both of them continue whacking it. The beatings are causing the cube to get smaller and smaller, inciting pitiful and increasingly weaker cries of "Cube!" in the background.

Oh yes, the glitter. Conner wasn't going to forget the glitter. It sort of itched, actually.

He almost, for a very brief second, thought of feeling sorry for the cube, then discarded that thought about as quickly as he discarded the thought of trying to stay and help.

That might be a bad idea. A few blows might "accidentally" go Apu's way.

So instead, Conner turned and pelted the hell out of the store and back up to the dorms. Man, he wished he had his super speed back right about now.

Apu didn't even have a chance to tell Connor to "Come again!"

Once the thing was finally dead... Or, at least not moving... Lizzy's head poked up from the pile of glitter and debris the creature had picked gathered into itself. The rest of the store was actually spotless as a result of the cube moving around in its pursuit of Apu. To bad it was deadly, it did a really good job of cleaning up.

Jane leaned on her shovel.

"Hey... Wasn't that kid naked?"

"I didn't notice. He certainly wasn't when he came in."

"Bark bark!"

All and Sundries - Thursday

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