fandomtownies | Empire Records: [1/4]

Marie dropped by Empire on her way to the clinic.

She watched the Jamies running around cleaning with amusement and waited for one of them to notice her.

It's the one sitting behind the counter reading a magazine that comes out to greet her. "Hey there girlfriend 'o mine. You drop by to see little old me?"

"As a matter of fact, I did," Marie confirmed, automatically reaching to hug him.

Jamie eagerly returned the hug and looked over his shoulder to see the other dupes in line to get their hug. "Hey! Get back to work!"

He gave Marie a grin. "Never thought I'd have to fight with myself to get a hug from you."

Marie shook her head. "Did you hear about Dr. Wilson?" she asked.

Jamie sobered up a bit at the question. "Yeah. Heard a little bit about it on the radio. Anything new?"

"No, I'm on my way to the clinic now," Marie said. "I wasn't sure if you had heard and I needed a hug."

Jamie gave her a small smile and an extra long hug. "Don't worry. He'll be all right."

Marie gave a little sigh and held on tight. "I hope so."

Jamie laughed. "Oh come on. Haven't you learned by now? You're a mutant. Everyone you know will either pull through after a long set of circumstances. Heck, I've known two.. three dozen people who have died and come back better than ever. Wilson's going to be fine."

"Really?" Marie said. "I hope you're right."

"Have I been wrong yet?" Jamie teased.

"I guess not," Marie admitted, smiling at him. "All right, I better get going. I'll talk to you later."

She leaned over and gave him a very fast kiss.

Wade continued his wandering about town, stopping into the music shop, like you do. He stared blankly at the small clones of Madrox running around.

"Holy cloning experiment gone wrong, Ratman!"

The entire group of Jamies turned and facepalmed. "What are you doing here?" they asked in unison. "Is there a Bea Arthur convention in town?"

(Someday, my love, someday.)

"If there was a Bea Arthur convention in town, I would be proposing to the woman of my dreams," Wade replied. "And shouldn't you be fifteen years older and running that vaguely pornographic sounding agency in New York?"

"I am. Or rather He is. Um. Yeah," the Jamies replied. Stupid pronouns.

"I'm just a dupe of his that... well got shrunk in the wash after some genetic tinkering. Why are you here? And how soon are you leaving?"

"Are you now another member of the Weapon X club?" Wade asked. "Because if you are, I'll have to add you to the mailing list."

"And I'm here to teach the impressionable teens up at the school."

"No. Seriously. What are you doing here?" one of the Jamies asked.

"It wasn't Weapon X, is was that evil version of Hank McCoy," another dupe explained.

"Does the Weapon X club come with a free keychain in the shape of Logan's head?" asked another.

"I already said, I'm here teaching," Wade said, looking around the shop. "Though why they would hire an insane hitman whose a high school dropout to teach, I have no idea."

He started poking at the pop section, wishing for his sword. "Evil Hank McCoy, huh? Must have missed that story arc." He paused. "How did you know about the super secret key-chain of friendship?"

"Well who wouldn't want Wolverine's head on a set of keys?" Jamie asked. "Don't worry. You're secret is safe with me."

"And me."

"And me."

"Me too!"

"I'm telling everyone."

"No time in Weapon X, no key-chain, sorry," Wade said, patting the nearest clone on the shoulder. "We can't just hand them out to everyone you know."

"You could probably get one of those dorky X's for your keys from Emma Frost."

"Oh please, like there aren't a jillion of you weapon x'ers out there now," one of the dupes replied with eye rolling.

"And we wouldn't go to Emma for anything."

"Except to see what outfit she is wearing today."

All the Jamies nod and voice their agreement on that last statement.

"A damn good past time, if I do say so." Wade flipped through the CDs, looking for the sweet tones of Clay Aiken. "So, should I expect more of you X-Men to pop out of the woodwork on me? Because I'd like some warning if it's Wolverine. I think he's still mad about me shooting his teammates in the back."

Jamie blinked at that for a second and shrugged. "Well we have another Rogue but not the one you know. We also have Jake Gavin and Molly Hayes but they're not X-men technically. No Logan. We do have people here who are obsessed with hair though."

"The Pride kid?" Wade asked, tilting his head to the side. "Isn't she too young to go to high school?"

"And I don't think he's so much obsessed with hair, as it's a parasitic organism that has taken over his body. Thank God I didn't get that from him."

"Beats me," one Jamie said with a shrug. "Must be a funky time travel thing."

"Hair is parasitic?"

"Have you seen his hair?"

"I just thought he used product."

"..."

"What?"

"Just picturing Logan using Herbal Essence Shampoo."

Wade stopped flipping through CDs to shudder. "I just threw up in my mask a little bit there."

"Oooooh. Now you have mask stink," one duplicate shaking his head in woe. "That's a bitch to get out."

"It just needs to be handwashed in mild detergent or vinegar."

"Okay. Sometimes I fear myself."

Wades was resisting the urge to curl into the fetal position and die over the image of orgasming Wolverine. And oh god, Creed just joined him in his mind.

"Ah! Not the animal sex! Make it stop!"

"He's freaking out."

"We should probably do something before he starts shooting up the place."

"Any ideas?"

"SING!"

Thank you for being a friend,
Travelled down the road and back again.
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confident.

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend

It was like being stuck in an X-Men one man choir. (The horror, oh the horror.)

Wade threw a CD at one of the clones. "Stop singing, that's even worse! It's like hearing Lindsey Lohan!"

The Jamies all looked at each and glared at Wade.

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought to stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me...

Oh, that only meant Wade would start throwing more CDs and throw them harder. "Stop." Toss. "Singing." Toss. "You horrible." Toss. "Horrible." Toss. "Freaks!"

He had to wonder, did he get bonus points for hitting the dupes on the head?

Wade seemed to forget that hitting a dupe just creates more dupes.

More singing dupes. So really there's no points gained.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Wade fought the urge to grab his gun and start shooting as the songs got worse. Killing students wouldn't be good for the job. The job that kept him far far away from any mention of asshole Christ figures.

He put his hands over his ears and fled the store, taking a few CDs with him as he ran.

"Hey! Those Trini Lopez CD's aren't free you know!" Jamie yelled after him.

Empire Records: [1/4]

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