fandomtownies | Fandom Post Office: Tuesday (13/3)

Fandom Post Office: Tuesday (13/3)

Moist was hunched over a very thick, and judging by the look on his face very boring, book he'd found upstairs, trying to gauge what he was going to have to pay his theoretical employees.

He was fairly certain they wouldn't work for stamps.

In between chapters, he was watching Gladys.

How the crab in the light fixture had escaped his notice yesterday was anybody's guess, but the golem was on top of a ladder trying to fish it out. The ladder was creaking a protest, and the crab was clacking its claws in what Moist assumed was irritation.

It had to be frustrating when its claws simply bounced off the solid stone of the golem.

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He'd be happy to help you with anything. Anything at all. Really. It's an incredibly boring book.

Annette walked in with a box of...toys. Um, somewhat older toys for the older adult type variety of people.

She cleared her throat, and no, her cheeks were seriously not red. She used too much blush this morning.

"Excuse me?"

"Miss Hargrove," he said, smiling as he looked up from the book, glad of the interruption. "Welcome back." He blinked as he took in her appearance. "Is everything all right? You look a bit flustered."

She smiled, "Yes, well, it was a brisk walk." She lied neatly. "Um, I have these...things, in this box. I would like to mail them...to someone." She looked over at him and blinked. "They're not mine! I...just have to mail them for someone and I wasn't sure on the proper procedure for, um, mailing these sorts of items."

(ooc: in the box are all sorts of adult toys! hee!)

Wondering what could possibly be in the box, and not believing her explanation at all, he gestured at her to set it on the counter. "What sort of items are we talking about?" he asked. "And do you have a specific person in mind, or are we sending them to a generic someone?"

The possibility of a box full of flying monkey demons was looming large in his mind.

[*snicker*]

She did as he asked and set the box on the counter. It wasn't sealed yet, of course. That way he could decide how to mail them. "Um, a variety of sorts. For grown up type of people." Annette's cheeks blushed hotly. No way was she going to tell them that she had ordered all of them online and was too dang scared to try any of them, much less keep them.

Well, scared might not be the right word.

"Well, I'm sure we can get them packaged up and sent off..." Peering into the box, he puzzled over the odd objects for several seconds before his mind helpfully worked out what they were for, and presented him with visual aids, in case he was having trouble getting it. "Oh. Not yours, you say?" he asked, remaining unflustered only by dint of long practice.

Annette sort of covered her face a little with her hand, "Um. No. They are so not mine. Really. All of a sudden I woke up and there was this box in my room with these things in there." She shook her head and peered over at him. "I don't really even know what they are. I'm sure of it."

Closing the box. That was the way to go. It would make everything better, except he was still staring into it with horrified fascination. Where would that g-- "Oh lord," he muttered, slamming the flaps closed on the box.

"Well," he said, reaching for the tape and starting to tape them very securely shut. Just in case anything came to life and tried to escape. "It's very responsible of you to try and send them back. Admirable, even."

Annette kind of just nodded and did a little inwardly flailing. She had to explain. "I just had no idea! You know? I mean, no clue! In Home Ec I had to make this dildo cozy and had to borrow a dildo from my teacher and can you imagine that? Oh my it was the most humiliating ~~kind of fascinating~~ thing ever! And then oh, my computer you know, those pop up things and one thing led to another and I clicked stuff before I knew what I was doing. It was like I was this obsessed teenager or something. Click. Click. Click. I didn't think I would ever quit!" She took a deep breath and managed not to pass out.

"Yes, okay. Thanks."

Moist let most of that roll over and through him, coming back for, 'okay, thanks'. "You're welcome," he said, adding another layer of tape to the box. Just to be on the safe side. "Tell me, have you ever considered a career in the postal service?" Why not? He needed employees, and she'd certainly have no problems talking to the customers.

She thought for two seconds. "No. But I could. Consider it, I mean." She smiled bright.

"Um, Mr. Moist, sir? You taped up the return address in that box." Ooops. She should have mentioned that first.

Moist winced at the mangling of his name. "Mr Lipwig, please, or Moist. Either is fine. Mr Moist sounds very wrong." He stared down at the box. "And that means I'm going to have to go back in. Unless--" He grinned. "Unless you want to consider yourself right into a job, starting today, starting this minute, in fact."

"Oh." Just Moist? Cause that sounded more wrong to Annette. Kind of. Hmm. She would have to think about that later.

Blinking, she leaned forward and asked, "Now?" But she had to visit the doctor later, and Mr. Phale...and...she did not want to get back into that box!

"Tomorrow will work for me. Um. How much do you pay? And you know I have class and clubs and I'm a cheerleader. And I have a boyfriend." The last was pushing it, but she did like the sound of it.

"Tomorrow would be perfect." Damn. He'd really been hoping to avoid having to go back in the box. "How about--" He named a figure that seemed reasonable, based on what he'd been reading. "Say one day a week?"

"Great Moist!" It was going to take her a good bit of time to get used to that name. "One day a week is perfect!"

"I'll ~~handwavily~~ meet you here in the morning and show you the ropes." And then take a well deserved day off. "Most important thing is don't get too close to the glowing machine in the back room."

"Right. Great. Thanks Mr. Lipwig." There, better. "And uh, you're going to take care of this package here before tomorrow right? Cause it's really important that it get's mailed. Right away even. So then, I'll see you in the morning, okay then bye-bye now!"

Annette waved and hurried out as quick as she could.

And she had a job! YAY!

Moist watched her go, then turned back to the box. It seemed to be lurking, taunting him with its over taped flaps. Luckily he had a solution. And a golem.

"Gladys, just come and untape this box, dig out the address label, and then package it back up again, will you?"

The golem obeyed and Moist left her to it. "On the whole, monkey demons would have been preferable."

Or Help Her Catch The Crab, Which Is Now Scuttling Across The Floor.

No eyes today. The whatever-it-is is fast asleep, and if you listen closely, you can hear faint snores emanating from the box.

It's almost wrong how much I adore this icon.

I need to stop taking cold medicine because the crab thing put horrible images of a plot with Moist and Sean Patrick Flannery in a Simply Irresistible type thing.

*dies*

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Fandom Post Office: Tuesday (13/3)

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