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Pizza Planet - Saturday Late Afternoon

The idea had crept up on him while he'd been finishing up the breakfast dishes. Usually he and Aziraphale would have dinner here at the house on Saturday nights before Wilson headed down to the clinic to cover his shift but tonight he wanted to try something a little different.

Grinning impishly as it got a little later in the afternoon but while he still had plenty of time to get down to his shift, Wilson began to leave out little clues for the angel to find. With a start spot and a note saying simply 'follow me' and then he laid a track.

The track wound it's way lazily through the park and then down through the streets to the Pizza Planet. It had been awhile since they had simply gone on a nice quiet pizza date and there was something comforting about pizza.

Though as he waited, Wilson had a bit of fun with a napkin a pen and a list of very strange ingredients to try on a pizza. He was idly wondering just how raisins on a pizza might taste.

[ooc: Wilson is here for the Guardian and their thread is locked to them but otherwise open for your pizza nibbling needs!]

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Things had been a little bit subdued lately, with both angel and doctor trying to work through some psychological rough spots. So Aziraphale was especially pleased to see the little trail of notes, a sure sign of his lover's impish spirit making an appearance. Picking up each one as he went along, he finally made his way to the restaurant.

Aziraphale slid into the booth opposite the young doctor, a warm smile on his face.

"Fancy meeting you here," he teased.

Looking up from his ingredients list, Wilson smiled and reached for the pitcher of beer he'd ordered and poured some in to a glass for the arriving angel.

"What do you think of squid on a pizza?"

"I suppose it rather depends on what the squid is doing." He gave Wilson a cheeky grin. "Are we having squid pizza today?"

Aziraphale picked up the glass and took a sip of his beer. "Thank you, love."

Just for that, Wilson flicked a peanut at the angel and looked back down at his list.

"Well, you tell me if one of these other topping sounds better," clearing his throat, Wilson began to read.

"BROCCOLI, GREEN ASPARAGUS, SLICED BOILED EGG, CABBAGE CURRY, JALAPENO PEPPERS, SHRIMP, CAMEMBERT CHEESE, KIMUCHI, SPAGHETTI, COD ROE, KOREAN GRILLED BEEF, SPICED GINGER, CORN, MAYONNAISE, SPINACH, CURRY POWDER, PARSLEY, DRIED FLAKES of FISH, RAISINS, TATER TOTS, EEL, SALMON, TERIYAKI CHICKEN, EGGPLANT, SCALLOPS, TUNA, EGG YOLK, SEAWEED, WELSH ONIONS or an ENTIRE CHICKEN BREAST."

Pursing his lips, the mortal arched his eyebrows as he pondered the list himself.

Aziraphale, it should be remembered, had spent a great deal of time eating English food. That may have affected his view of what was proper on a pizza.

Or it may have been that he'd never had a pizza before coming to Fandom, and therefore had no idea what constituted a proper topping.

"Well...I rather think the sliced boiled egg and the shrimp sound good. Oh, or the salmon. Scallops, definitely. Welsh onions are good too. I like camembert. Oh! And mayonnaise, of course."

"Hmm," Wilson said thoughtfully. "How about we go with the shrimp, eel and the camembert cheese?" He suggested since those three things sounded like they went well together, right?

Really, Aziraphale was sort of the type to load up a pile of unrelated things and then, because he thought they should taste good together, they would. So he was perfectly happy to go along with Wilson's suggestions.

"Oh, I hadn't thought about the eel. That does sound nice. What about adding the cod roe to the list?"

He craned his neck and peered at his lover's list. "No squid?"

"The roe might not go well with the cheese," Wilson said thoughtfully. "Oh I think we could add the squid though, if you'd like?"

Really, Wilson had never had a pizza even remotely like this one but you had to try something new at some point right?

"Hmm...good point about the cheese. Well then, I think adding the squid is nice idea. It sounds delicious, love."

Aziraphale leaned his chin on his hand and studied the man across from him for a moment. "How are you, James? We haven't really...had a chance to talk much, this week. Are you all right?"

Very much his own fault, that they hadn't really talked. The angel had been rather withdrawn, leaving Wilson very much to his own devices for the past few days.

Waiting until the poor waitress had come to take their order ... check it twice ... confirm that really was what the two gentlemen wanted and then head off to possibly be ill back in the kitchen, Wilson finally turned back to the angel to answer his question.

"I've been ..." he drifted off and then shrugged gently. "I've been exploring being more honest with the two man shaped beings in my life."

He wasn't sure he wanted to get into the details of the other night with Lucifer, though probably Phale would feel more comfortable with Wilson going to the Advesary than some strange mortal.

This wasn't really the place for details anyway, and Aziraphale understood that was something that Wilson probably needed to go slow with. He'd been struggling with sharing his own thoughts and feelings lately himself, so he could hardly begrudge that in his lover.

"I...think I need to do the same," he said softly, nodding. Although a little bit of a smile did curl the corner of his mouth at the 'man-shaped beings'. It reminded him how far they'd come from the days when Wilson had never met an angel, and Aziraphale had never called a mortal 'friend'.

"The nice thing is...we have time. I think sometimes we forget that, and get caught up in the rush of things around us."

"Sometimes, it's too easy to let the problems around us take up our focus. We forget to look to our own damages," Wilson agreed, sipping on his beer in a pensive manner.

That was...pretty much what sat at the heart of things, for both of them.

"I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you more about what happened," Aziraphale said. "I've been so afraid of putting more of a burden on you, and I think in the end all I've done is worried you, and pulled away from you, instead."

He reached out toward Wilson's hand, touching his fingers to the ring. "Lucifer said he would help us with this. I'd like to do it, James. As soon as we can arrange it."

Turning his fingers upwards, Wilson touched Aziraphale's hand with his own, looking into his lover's eyes with a solemn expression in his own.

"It won't magically fix everything, you understand that right?"

Because they would still have to work at addressing everything they had both gone through and were going through as individuals and as a couple.

Aziraphale nodded. "I know. But there's this emptiness now, that I can't seem to get past. I miss...I miss knowing how you, James. I miss being able to feel that, and to know that if you ever needed me, I'd be able to tell immediately. I just...I miss it."

He wasn't sure if he could explain why, but the angel believed that if he no longer had that empty place where Wilson used to be, like a little hole in his very being, then he'd be able to take that next step forward in dealing with the rest of the troubles that had arisen.

For Wilson it was hard because he did not feel the bonds the same way the angels did. Lucifer had to project back along the bond to make the mortal aware and he imagined Aziraphale would need to purposefully do the same.

So it was hard for him to realize just how much Phale was missing the connection, until now.

"You should have told me," he said softly, holding his lover's hand. "I ... I didn't understand. It's different on my side of things."

"It's...I suppose I just thought it would be all right. That I'd get used to it being gone, after a little while. I mean, it isn't something I'm supposed to actually have, is it? Angels aren't supposed to be bonded to mortals that way. We aren't supposed to feel like we're only half-made anymore."

Aziraphale rubbed at his face with his free hand. "I'm so sorry, James. It's all part of this...unsettled feeling I've had, ever since what happened in Lucifer's creation. I know what I feel, and what I want, but it frightens me, because I'm not sure that I'm supposed to."

His fingers tightened around the young doctor's. "And I don't want you to think that I'm even considering giving you up. I have no doubts in that regard whatsoever. It's just all of this, it's all wound up together, and I'm having difficulty sorting it all out."

"Raphale," Wilson said softly, pausing to sit back as their pizza was delivered and then leaning back in.

"Who, told you how you're supposed to think? I guess, as you say that's the root of what you're struggling with and I have to wonder love ... where is your faith in HIM?"

Smiling ruefully, Aziraphale picked a bit of squid off the top of the pizza. "That's what I'm trying to work out, love. I never bothered to much think for myself. Not until the Apocalypse. And even after that, it was still always very much about whether or not it all fit the Plan. Only now, I'm starting to wonder if the Plan is perhaps a great deal more complicated than I had been led to believe. And there are parts of it...that I'm not quite certain I like very much."

He served up a slice of pizza onto Wilson's plate, and then one onto his own. "Phoebe came to visit me the other day. Said a little bird had told her I needed my little sister. And she told me I ought to go and talk to HIM. And I think she's right. I just haven't quite worked out how to go about that yet. I mean, I haven't actually spoken to HIM face to face since the Garden."

"Tweet tweet," Wilson owned up, picking up his pizza and biting into it but at waiting till he had chewed and swallowed before continuing.

"Does it need to be face to face? Why not in our garden, love? I ... I agree with her, just talk to HIM."

"Yes, I rather suspected the identity of the little bird," the angel chuckled. He poked a bit at his own slice, not quite ready to settle in and eat just yet. But he tilted his head, giving Wilson a pensive look, at the suggestion.

"Yes...I suppose I could do that. I know that the church would seem the most logical place, but I've never really comfortable in them. Churches are places for mortals, I think. But our garden..."

Aziraphale smiled. "'The world is charged with the grandeur of God...'" he murmured. "So what better place to talk to HIM, than out in the world HE made."

"Talk to Cookie if you need a face to focus on," Wilson suggested. "Just if Cookie starts talking back, let me know so I don't freak out when he asks me for gingersnap cookies."

Wilson teased but at the same time he felt there was a great deal of importance to Aziraphale speaking to HIM once more. It sounded more and more like the angel wasn't so much unsure of himself as he was of the Father and that if Phale could rediscover his faith in HIM he'd rediscover his faith in himself.

Although Wilson didn't articulate his thoughts, he was pretty much dead-on in his assessment of a huge part of what was troubling the angel. The gentle joke helped to push Aziraphale out of the somewhat maudlin mood he'd drifted into as well, and he laughed softly at the suggestion.

"Perhaps I'll do just that. Although I do very much hope that we don't wind up with a talking fish in our koi pond. Things are strange enough around here without that."

Impulsively, he leaned across the table and snagged the young doctor's tie, pulling the man a bit toward him so he could steal a quick kiss. Then the angel sat back and dug into his dinner.

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Pizza Planet - Saturday Late Afternoon

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